Friday, September 9, 2016

The uneasy feeling.....................

The stomach..................... The back..................... The front..................... Everywhere..................... Torture me to death..................... Dear lord..................... Please help..................... Take them all away..................... I beg you .....................

Meet her tomorrow.....................

Maybe that will fix everything..................... That is what he wants..................... The longer i stay away..................... The bigger punishment i get..................... That is the thought..................... And that is the reality..................... I think..................... How should i know..................... I am not the eye..................... Not the fortune teller either..................... Just predict..................... As the brain wants how it is.....................

The imaginary mistakes.....................

Ruin the mood..................... Blame the self..................... Ask a lot of questions..................... Unanswerable ones..................... Many should have been done..................... Is it all just in my head..................... Or is there in the reality..................... Cant tell the difference..................... Ambiguous consciousness..................... Really confused..................... Literally insane..................... Lets go to the asylum.....................

See what you can do.....................

When the world presses you..................... You want to yell..................... You want to scream..................... But your mouth shuts..................... The yell goes into the pen..................... The scream goes into the paper..................... And it writes itself..................... Letter by letter..................... Word by word..................... And you just stare..................... What the hell is going on.....................

That class.....................

That science..................... Out of my box..................... Scare the shit out of me..................... Frighten me to death..................... A lot of what if..................... Will i be stupid..................... Will i do wrong..................... Have no clue at all..................... But the show must go on..................... Force the heart..................... Determine the self..................... Must go forward..................... Never step back.....................

Blank.....................

There are a lot going on in my head..................... But dont quite understand..................... What is it about..................... How to write them..................... Just stuffs..................... Inside the skull..................... Want to pour out..................... How to do that..................... Have no idea..................... Cant open it..................... Want to go inside..................... And stare at it.....................

Greedy fingers.....................

It never stops..................... Running around on that box..................... Consumes a lot..................... Add more sin..................... More and more..................... Make the soul black..................... Pitch dark..................... Make the brain damage..................... Negative all over..................... The devil wins..................... Should do something..................... Must do..................... Lets do it..................... Fight baby fight.....................

Please dive in.....................

Enter all you are..................... Never mind the side walls..................... I am what i am..................... Pretend to be a bee..................... Unbelievably beautiful one..................... Derail you from the tract..................... Invite you inside..................... To the unknown world..................... As the reality gone..................... Going to the higher realm..................... Give the unconscious peace..................... Ethereal process..................... Drown into the cloudless sky.....................

Dear lord.....................

What happen..................... Need the speed..................... There are many jobs..................... Have to be done..................... Must be finished..................... It stucks..................... Irritate me..................... Furious me..................... Redo all over..................... Be patient..................... He is with me..................... All the tiime..................... Do it smoothly..................... Step by step..................... Piece by piece.....................

The seniors.....................

Nice to me..................... Hope it lasts..................... Not like others..................... Torture me..................... Being gratefull..................... For the big number..................... Enter the box..................... Grant the wishes..................... Of many..................... The sound of them..................... Happy noise..................... Happy receiver..................... Makes everything good..................... Heavenly aura.....................

Bring the book.....................

But dont read it..................... Feel stupid..................... Blame the room..................... Blame others..................... Curse everything..................... Want go into the rain..................... Want to be wet..................... But the stuffs forbid.....................

Want to go home.....................

But not sure the place is on..................... Feel like the stove..................... Burning everything..................... Sweat the soul..................... Anger the mind..................... Blow the brain..................... Explode the head..................... Need the distraction..................... Need the heavenly place..................... To cool the self.....................

The feeling wont go.....................

Need to pray..................... Need the special words..................... To calm the heart..................... The restless heart..................... Burning like hell..................... Holy shit..................... Hot like hell..................... Damage the concentration..................... All over the creature..................... Lets kidnap it..................... Make it be mine..................... My own..................... For my pleasure..................... Exclusively mine.....................

Happen again.....................

Ignoring the new..................... Feel like shit..................... Had to be tough..................... Believe in him..................... He is always with me..................... Inside out..................... Never leave..................... You will be ok..................... Everything will be alright..................... Just let the time heals..................... Just flow with the current..................... Let it be.....................

All these shits.....................

\very annoying..................... Onto everything..................... Inside out..................... Doom to be..................... Ignite the flame..................... Notorious burn..................... Glamorous sound..................... More cracking pieces..................... On the painful smell..................... The bleeding nose..................... Hurt like hell..................... Eat all the shit..................... Ruin the self.....................

Final destination.....................

Unpredictable result..................... Lot of noise..................... Lot of people..................... Being in the crowd..................... On the lonely soul..................... On the solitaire heart..................... Kill kick stab..................... Enormous burst..................... Deep inside..................... Pulling me under..................... Lower to the ground..................... At the bottom sphere..................... Crazy becomes of me..................... End the happy thought.....................

Pretend i dont exist.....................

Even now feel like outsider..................... On that forum i feel out..................... Put this feeling inside..................... Loiter the heart with black..................... Every rubbish on this world..................... On the angry heart..................... Feel the pain so much..................... To go back to you..................... Hold you in the chest..................... Even closer..................... Not until the pain gone..................... Every pain on this skin..................... Wreck me like shit..................... Pieces become of me..................... Lust to go blowing up..................... All around..................... Crush everything..................... Even the you too.....................

More wrong going on today.....................

All because of you..................... To remind me of my sin..................... Ignoring that woman..................... Long time no see..................... Avoid her is a big no..................... Make me suffer by you..................... Punish me all the way..................... Until i surrender.....................