Let this pain become a lesson,

 

When he asked,
all I could say was, “I don’t like it.”
My mind screamed in silence:
So full of himself. A flatterer.
Only wanting to look smart in the teacher’s eyes.

God, hear my prayer,
wipe away all the darkness clinging to my heart.
God, protect me from those who wish me harm,
from every ill intention that surrounds me.

All these thoughts arise
because of the wounds he left in the past,
his actions maddening,
making my heart silently bleed.

God, guide me,
teach me to hold back my anger,
give him a just return,
not from my hands, but from Your justice.

Let this pain become a lesson,
not a prison for my soul.
Let me stand tall,
even when the world treats me unfairly.

proses ibadah haji

 

haji

Hari / Waktu	Lokasi	Prosesi Ibadah Haji	Keterangan	Doa / Dzikir
Sebelum Haji	Miqat	Ihram	Niat haji, memakai pakaian ihram, larangan tertentu mulai berlaku	Niat ihram: “Labbayka Allahumma Hajj…”Talbiyah: “Labbayka Allahumma labbayk, labbayka laa syarika laka labbayk…”
Setibanya di Makkah	Masjidil Haram	Tawaf Qudum	Mengelilingi Ka'bah 7 kali, mulai dari Hajar Aswad	Mulai dari Hajar Aswad: “Bismillahi Allahu Akbar”Dzikir: “SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar”Doa pribadi
Setibanya di Makkah	Safa-Marwah	Sa’i	Berjalan/berlari kecil 7 kali antara Safa dan Marwah	Doa di Safa dan Marwah, dzikir: “Rabbighfir warham wa anta khayru ar-rahimeen”
9 Dzulhijjah	Padang Arafah	Wuquf di Arafah	Puncak ibadah haji, wajib bagi sahnya haji	Dzikir dan doa: “La ilaha illallah wahdahu la syarika lah, lahul mulku wa lahul hamdu wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadir”Doa pribadi sepanjang siang
Malam 9 Dzulhijjah	Muzdalifah	Mabit & Ambil Batu	Menginap semalam, shalat Maghrib & Isya, mengambil batu untuk jumrah	Dzikir malam: tasbih, tahmid, takbirDoa saat ambil batu: “Bismillah, Allahu Akbar”
10–12 Dzulhijjah	Mina	Melempar Jumrah (Rami al-Jamarat)	Melempar 3 jumrah dengan 7 batu kecil tiap jumrah	Saat melempar tiap batu: “Bismillah, Allahu Akbar”Doa: “Ya Allah, aku menjauhi dosa dan syetan”
Setelah Jumrah Aqabah	Mina / Makkah	Tahallul	Memotong rambut/bercukur, menandai sebagian larangan ihram berakhir	Dzikir dan doa ringkas: “Alhamdulillah”, “Allahu Akbar”
Sebelum meninggalkan Makkah	Masjidil Haram	Tawaf Wada’	Tawaf perpisahan 7 kali mengelilingi Ka'bah	Mulai dari Hajar Aswad: “Bismillahi Allahu Akbar”Dzikir dan doa pribadi agar haji diterima, dosa diampuni, keselamatan pulang

larangan

No	Larangan Ihram	Keterangan	Dampak / Tebusan (Dam)
1	Hubungan suami-istri	Tidak boleh bersentuhan, berciuman, atau berhubungan seksual	Jika dilakukan, wajib berkurban hewan (domba, kambing, unta, atau sapi) tergantung aturan syariat
2	Membunuh atau menyakiti makhluk hidup yang halal	Dilarang berburu atau membunuh hewan halal	Harus membayar tebusan berupa menyembelih hewan atau memberi makan fakir miskin
3	Memotong rambut atau kuku	Tidak boleh memotong rambut atau kuku sampai tahallul pertama	Harus membayar dam (tebusan) sesuai syariat
4	Menggunakan parfum atau wewangian	Tidak boleh memakai minyak wangi, sabun beraroma, parfum	Tidak menimbulkan dam, tetapi harus segera menghentikan penggunaan
5	Memakai pakaian jahitan (khusus pria)	Pria hanya boleh memakai dua lembar kain ihram tanpa jahitan	Jika memakai pakaian jahitan, wajib dam (menyembelih hewan atau memberi makan fakir miskin)
6	Menutupi kepala atau wajah (khusus pria)	Pria tidak boleh menutupi kepala atau wajah	Tidak menimbulkan dam, cukup menghentikan tindakan
7	Berburu atau merusak tanaman / alam	Dilarang mengambil atau merusak pohon, bunga, atau tanaman di wilayah Haram	Harus membayar dam berupa menyembelih hewan atau memberi makan fakir miskin
8	Perbuatan dosa / maksiat	Termasuk berkata kotor, mengumpat, berbohong, menipu	Tidak membatalkan haji, tapi berdosa; dianjurkan segera bertaubat
9	Larangan khusus wanita	Menutup wajah dengan cadar jika tidak ada alasan syar’i	Tidak membatalkan haji, cukup menyesuaikan pakaian sesuai syariat

tata cara umroh

 

No	Tahap / Prosesi	Keterangan / Penjelasan	Doa / Bacaan
1	Ihram	Sebelum memasuki Miqat (tempat niat ihram), mandi besar (jika memungkinkan), bersuci, mengenakan pakaian ihram. Bagi pria: dua helai kain putih, bagi wanita: pakaian longgar menutup aurat.	Tidak ada doa khusus, cukup niat ihram: “Labbaik Allahumma Umrah”
2	Niat Umroh	Membaca niat Umroh saat mengenakan ihram.	“Labbayka Allahumma Umrah” (Artinya: Aku penuhi panggilan-Mu, ya Allah, untuk Umroh)
3	Talbiyah	Mengucapkan talbiyah berulang-ulang dalam perjalanan menuju Ka’bah: “Labbayk Allahumma labbayk...”	“Labbayk Allahumma labbayk, labbayka la sharika laka labbayk...”
4	Tawaf	Mengelilingi Ka’bah sebanyak 7 kali. Dimulai dari Hajar Aswad, berjalan searah jarum jam. Disunnahkan membaca doa, dzikir, dan shalawat selama tawaf.	“Bismillah, Allahu Akbar” saat menyentuh Hajar Aswad. Doa bebas selama tawaf, contoh: “Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanah, wa fil-akhirati hasanah, wa qina ‘adhab an-nar”
5	Shalat di Multazam (sunnah)	Disunnahkan shalat dua rakaat setelah selesai tawaf di dekat Multazam (antara Hajar Aswad dan pintu Ka’bah).	Doa bebas atau doa khusus seperti “Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa-dosaku dan terimalah ibadahku”
6	Sa’i	Berjalan bolak-balik antara bukit Safa dan Marwah sebanyak 7 kali. Dimulai dari Safa menuju Marwah dihitung satu kali, kembali ke Safa dihitung dua kali, dst.	Membaca doa dan dzikir, contoh: “Rabbighfir warham wa anta khayru-r-rahimin”
7	Tahallul / Memotong Rambut	Setelah selesai Sa’i, pria mencukur sebagian rambut (lebih baik dicukur bersih), wanita memotong ujung rambut. Menandakan keluar dari Ihram.	Tidak ada bacaan khusus, cukup niat memotong rambut untuk tahallul.
8	Doa dan Dzikir Tambahan	Disunnahkan memperbanyak ibadah, doa, dan dzikir di Masjidil Haram atau area sekitar Ka’bah.	Dzikir umum: “Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar”
9	Tamatnya Umroh	Setelah tahallul dan Sa’i selesai, Umroh dinyatakan selesai. Jamaah bisa kembali ke aktivitas biasa.	Doa penutup: ucapan syukur kepada Allah, contohnya: “Alhamdulillahi alladhi at’amana wasaqana waja’alana min al-muslimin”

the foolish are always the loudest.

 

Here he comes again—
acting clever,
turning my proposal upside down,
mistaking destruction for insight.

God,
give me strength.
God,
please help me.
Protect me from people
whose hearts are not clean.

They say—
wise words passed around—
the foolish speak the most,
the foolish are always the loudest.

His voice fills the room,
but meaning does not.
He criticizes with confidence,
yet stumbles over the very language
he pretends to master.

Still, he poses,
offering advice
on roads
he has never walked.

God,
steady my hands.
Let me not be poisoned
by his negativity,
let it fall to the ground
before it reaches my heart.

I will choose silence,
choose patience,
rebuild every sentence
with faith and clarity.

Because truth does not shout,
knowledge does not humiliate,
and light—
remains light,
even when challenged by noise.

Under His Shadow, Under God’s Light

 

Under His Shadow, Under God’s Light

Allahu Akbar.
Bismillah.

God,
I stand small before power
that is not mine.
He stands above me—
position, voice, authority—
while I am beneath,
learning, waiting, enduring.

For three years—
God, I pray it is only three,
no more than that—
I must become his student,
even when fear tightens my chest
like a whispered warning.

It is not his strength that frightens me.
It is the darkness he carries,
the negativity that drips from words,
that tries to seep into my skin,
into my thoughts,
into my faith.

God,
build a wall around my heart.
Let his bitterness stop at my skin.
Let his storms pass without entering me.

Give me strength that does not shout,
patience that does not break,
silence that is not surrender,
and courage that survives quietly.

If I must walk beneath him,
let me walk beneath You first.
If I must bow in learning,
let my soul stay upright in faith.

Allahu Akbar—
You are greater than fear,
greater than power,
greater than him,
greater than these years.

Hold me.
Protect me.
Do not let his darkness
become my light.

Ameen.

22 des 25 senen

 

perpus

wrg kalimantan

bhsl ps

allahuakbar