18 agus 25 senen

 

tokobuah

blonjo

perpus

bhslps

allahuakbar

is Mister Awesome,

 

Mister A,
is Mister Amazing,
is Mister Awesome,
the kind of soul
that touched my heart deeply.

That was a very long friendship,
woven with laughter,
with tears,
with countless unspoken words,
yet suddenly you snatched him from me.

I know I should let him go,
though my hands tremble to release,
but I trust,
you put him in a better place,
where there is no sickness.

A land without pain,
a sky without storms,
a world where sorrow has no voice,
and hope never dies,
where every dawn is gentle.

Hope you are with him all the time,
hope your embrace never leaves,
hope you love him all the way,
the way I could not always show,
the way he truly deserved.

Hope you make him safe and happy,
shielded from every shadow,
dancing in eternal light,
where angels sing soft hymns,
and every step feels free.

And hope you tell him I miss him,
tell him my heart aches,
tell him silence is heavy without him,
tell him I whisper his name at night,
tell him I still need him here.

A lot.
More than words can carry,
more than oceans can hide,
more than time can soften,
my missing has no end.

Remembering that he was always there for me,
in my bad times,
when the world collapsed,
when no one stayed,
he stood tall beside me.

In my good times,
he laughed louder than I did,
celebrating victories
as if they were his own,
sharing joy like sunlight.

In my terrible times,
when life broke me apart,
he held my pieces together,
with patience,
with strength I borrowed.

Mostly in my dark times,
he became my light,
a lantern burning in endless night,
a compass pointing home,
the sunshine you sent for me.

And I should not take him for granted,
yet sometimes I did,
forgetting how rare he was,
until the silence came,
and I realized too late.

Now it feels I lost everything,
the anchor of my soul,
the bridge to my hope,
the listener of my cries,
the brother my heart chose.

Don’t know where to look,
the corners are empty,
the streets feel hollow,
the laughter is gone,
the world is too quiet.

Don’t know where to hold,
my arms find no warmth,
my hands touch only air,
the pillow soaks my tears,
the nights stretch forever.

Don’t know where to go,
every path reminds me of him,
every corner whispers his name,
every place is a memory,
every step is heavier.

Don’t know where to rest,
for rest was with him,
in simple talks,
in gentle smiles,
in the comfort of his presence.

Rest assure I am happy,
that you put him with you,
because if he must leave me,
let it be to your embrace,
let it be in heaven’s light.

Now I just can send this pray,
woven with tears,
wrapped with longing,
carried by faith,
to reach where I cannot go.

May this pray arrive in his place,
softly,
gently,
as a whisper of love,
as a reminder he’s not forgotten.

Wherever he is,
let him feel me near,
let him know I still care,
let him know he lives in me,
forever and always.

A Prayer for Freedom

 

A Prayer for Freedom

i don’t want to go home
there are so many reasons
the broken family
the disgusting government
there is no protector

the ones who should protect people
are being the puppet of the mob
that is very scary
the discrimination of the minority
that is terrible

but if my duty is there
and you say that
i can’t do things
i should just accept it
but i will not stop praying

that you will put me somewhere else
somewhere beautiful
somewhere free
somewhere i can breathe freedom
somewhere hope is not a crime

where love is not forbidden
where difference is not cursed
where the voice of the weak is heard
where the future is not stolen
where my heart can finally rest

remembering

 

dear ef

remembering him

he is so kind

always there when i need him

but you take him too soon

and now i miss him

lately my mind full of him

i cant do a thing

just send him a pray

hope you deliver it to him

may he always be happy there with you

may you give him the nicest place on heaven

may you guard him all the way

Dear EF

 

Dear EF
remembering him,
the kindness that never faded,
the presence that held me steady,
always there when I needed.

but you took him too soon,
and now silence echoes his name.
my mind is a river of memories,
and I am drowning in longing.

so I send him a prayer—
carry it gently to where he rests.
may joy wrap him in eternity,
may heaven open its brightest gates,
and may your hands, O Lord,
guard him all the way.

Prayer Between Wounds

 

Prayer Between Wounds

suddenly, bad news falls like rain
dear Lord, I cannot fix their pain
all I can do is whisper a prayer
that they will be fine, that You’ll be there.

and if You allow, hear me too—
I don’t want this weight to break me through
I long to study, to finish strong,
not let their shadows drag me wrong.

sometimes my mind goes wild, insane—
that all this sorrow is staged, not pain,
that she just craves the eyes, the call,
attention’s hunger above it all.

disgust creeps in, yet Your book reminds:
in her years, a child re-climbs,
needing affection, making noise,
filling the air with restless voice.

but still the ache, sharp and real,
the wounds she gave refuse to heal.
Lord, it hurts—too much to show,
how do I learn to let it go?

not today, I do not know when,
but You hold the secret, You know the end.
so I place her, trembling, in Your hand—
You take care, for only You can.

suddenly bad news

 

suddenly bad news

dear lord

i cant do things for them

just pray that they will be fine

and if you allow me

i want to pray for me too

i domt want this news put me down

i want to be ok to do my study

i want to finish my study smoothly

i dont want them to distract me

sometimes my head goes crazy

that all of this is only make up story

in reality she just isnt that

she just want to get attention

she just it

that is disgusting

but in your book you say that

in her age it is time she becomes kid again

need attention

need affection

make a lot of noise

make a lot of voice

but the pain still exist

remembering all the bad things she done to me

and it still hurts

a lot

i just hope i can let it go

i hope i have the ability to let it go

but not now

i dont know when

you know when

now i put her in your hand

you should take care of her