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A Prayer from the Depths

 Poem:

A Prayer from the Depths

They are so much richer than I am
Their parents own vast coffee plantations—
only the wealthy have lands that stretch to the horizon,
lives painted in colors I’ve never known.

While I…
am the child of retired civil servants,
living off a pension that barely breathes,
with no help to offer,
not even before I left,
when I sold my motorcycle,
sold my car,
mortgaged the house—
just to make this journey possible.

But why, God?
Why did You choose this path for me?
Forgive me for questioning,
Forgive my trembling faith.
It all feels so wrong.
But deep down… I know You never are.

So give me light, God—
some glimpse of wisdom in this night,
give me ease, Lord—
for this burden is too heavy to bear alone.

I cry out not in anger,
but from a heart worn thin,
a soul gasping for hope
in silence You alone can break.

They live with comfort,
with gold beneath their feet,
while I stumble through dust
with nothing but belief.

Yet maybe—just maybe—
this pain is the root of something greater,
that through sacrifice and unseen labor,
I’ll rise with a strength they’ll never own.

So hold me, God.
Don’t let me fall apart.
Let this sorrow shape me,
not destroy me.

Amen.

Hold Me, God

 Hold Me, God

(A poem of anger, fear, and surrender)

Forgive me, God, I was angry
when I heard their decision—
like thunder tearing through a clear sky,
my heart split, unwilling, unready.

Forgive me, I’m sad,
deeply disappointed,
you piled more weight upon me,
sharpened the wounds already there.

I cried in silence,
my soul screamed within.
This is madness, God,
a torment that feels endless.

But forgive me—
I know I shouldn't be angry,
for You are the All-Knowing,
and every pain hides a hidden wisdom.

Forgive me, I am afraid,
this world feels too real,
and I feel so small,
wandering without money,
facing needs that scream louder every day.

I’m trembling, God,
afraid I won’t survive
the storms, the crashing waves
that never seem to rest.

Yet I know,
I must not fear.
You hold everything—
for me, for them, for all.

Still, God,
I’m afraid...
my heart is fragile,
so very fragile.

I fear I won’t be strong enough
to endure it all.

So hear me, God—
forgive my weakness,
my trembling faith, my failing patience.

Help me, God.
Don’t leave me behind.
Love me in the midst of this storm,
have mercy on me in my silence.

Walk beside me through this path,
and hold me, God—
hold me close,
until my fears dissolve
and peace returns me home.