I am afraid………………..

I wont get the sit next to the window……………….. Then again……………….. Everything comes for a reason……………….. Including that……………….. If that really will happen……………….. But I hope not……………….. And the thought of him comes again……………….. Fuck……………….. Go away……………….. Remembering the stone in my head……………….. Praying good for them……………….. Hence……………….. Praying good for me……………….. For myself……………….. Pray nice……………….. Hope they get well……………….. With their love ones……………….. They said they had ones……………….. Hidden away……………….. Pray nice……………….. And they will get well too……………….. With their secret encounters……………….. Secret adventures……………….. Hence……………….. Is it the same for me……………….. They say so……………….. It is scary……………….. They say it lightly……………….. As if nothing wrong……………….. As if what they do is not wrong……………….. Being in relation with the love ones far away hidden……………….. And being in relation here……………….. With others……………….. Makes me afraid……………….. What if……………….. I get a lovely one……………….. But secretly he treats me this way……………….. But I believe in karma……………….. As long as I play nice……………….. I will get nice people……………….. Do I play nice……………….. What the hell ………………..