trapped

 

I am foolish
lazy, unable to manage myself
though the morning already calls
this body refuses to move
refuses to bow, to face You

perhaps this is the reason
all negativity keeps breaking in
it’s terrifying
only now I realize
the root of it all is idleness

I must be strong, must force this body
to rise at dawn
to greet the light, to greet You
before the world steals my time

Lord, help me please
to do this purpose
to manage my schedule
so I don’t waste the morning
so I don’t lose myself

night keeps me awake
daytime demands my sleep
my rhythm reversed, broken, chaotic
yesterday I failed my morning meeting
because my body was trapped in wrong hours

I’m afraid
it will happen again
when morning classes await
when life demands alignment

Lord, help me
shape my body, shape my soul
so it bends to nature’s order
so it dances with time
and does not drown in negligence

I want to adjust
I want to be strong
I want to stand before You
before the world closes my eyes