Realizing................

The wolf is not really a wolf................ It is the desire................ The lust................ Of the dark things................ The evil things................ As the religion said................ The biggest enemy is yourself................ The ego inside you................ Who can control you................ Do sins................ Stay away from kind things................ Get close to bad things................ Just want to enjoy................ A lot of rasionalitation................

He owns the music channel................

He put his shows there................ The male pageant shows................ The food shows................ The fashion shows................ The travelling shows................ The movie awards................ The television awards................ The music awards................ Many kinds of music shows................ All genres of music................ Artist diary shows................ The talkshow................ The performance................ The choice................

Oh lord ................

the owner of the heart................ Oh lord ................ the ruler of the heart................ Oh lord ................ the one who can turn the heart upside down................ this is me begging................ dont do this................ this heart is trembling................ i surrender................ i give all to you................ what will you do................ i will accept all................ just take it away................ this uneasiness................

I know you love me................

You must love me................ I know you do................ I need hug................ A real hug................ I dont want to be alone................ Not now................ It is killing me................ Oh lord................ You have fairies................ I know you do................ You have angels................ I know you do................ Send me one................ I love you................ I do love you ................

God................

I know you are out there................ Somewhere................ I know you are here................ Help................ I dont know why i cry................ But i cry................ I do miss her................ I do miss you................ Help................ Oh lord................ The chest is full................ Oh lord................ It is sickening ................ Oh lord................ It is burdening ................ Oh lord’................ It is pressing ................

And you are numb................

Everything else is disturbing................ Make you uncomfortable................ Heart and soul................ You put the music................ High volume................ Covering up the sound of the world................ Want to be alone................ In different world................ Where i can think................ About my things ................

And he is doing that................

Open the window................ Just give me enough................ To do what i have to do................ And he closes it................ Dont know what to do now................ Dont bring reading stuff................ And then................ I can do this................ Still amazed................ By what he is doing................

Still have time................

Dont know what to do................ Wait to process it................ But it is error................ Try not to complain................ Just whisper his name................ To come to help................ Almighty’................ Who owns all the power................ And beyond................ He can do it................ He will do it................ Just believe................ Just pray................ Just wait and see................ Not stop trying though................ Never stop................ Never back down’................

Damn.................

Today is very hot................. From morning................. Up to now................. Remembering that news................. Reporting about disasters................. That will happen................. All over java................. Hope everyone will be ok................. Not complaining................. Just expressing the thought................. It is really hot though................. But i will survive................. I must survive................. He does this................. He makes this................. He creates this................. For a reason.................

They come early.................

Love that................. Love them................. Hope the result is good................. Will love them more................. If the result is bad................. Dont blame them................. Blame yourself................. It is your fault................. It is your job................. To make them clever................. It is your duty................. To make them smart................. And you will be asked................. For your responsibility.................

Just pray a lot.................

Whisper his name................. Again and again................. More and more................. Not stopping................. Hoping for the best................. Expecting smoothness................. Love smoothness................. No obstacles................. No burdens................. No problems................. Call it to come................. Hope it to arrive................. Cheer the day................. Smooth the process................. Everything will be allright.................

The error comes again.................

The test is difficult................. want to be smooth................. All the time................. But the want and the reality................. Doesnt always go hand in hand................. And you must accept that................. There is something................. Behind that situation................. You dont know yet................. And maybe................. You will never know................. But that is the best for you................. God plans this................. And all happenings in your life................. You will be ok.................

Waiting for them.................

Being late................. Irritating self................. Be patient................. The devil tests you................. You must pass it................. You are incredible................. No devil can beat you................. You beat them................. All of them................. You are beyond them................. You are above them................. That is your destiny................. Put it in your mind................. Believe it in your brain................. Live it in your life.................

And then come other thought.................

That group................. Who said that science that................. Doesnt come from god................. Is not good................. Is it really? ................. Is there anything in this world not coming from him? ................. Is it wrong to learn this kind of science? ................. I thought i am good at that................. And then they make me................. Questioning myself................. Doubting myself................. And i am coming undone................. Confuse all over................. Dank................. The head is exploding.................

Mistake twice.................

Feeling bad................. Very bad................. Being careless................. Being irresponsible................. Stupid me................. Maybe that is punishment................. For being stupid this morning................. Complaining all the time................. Not thanking for today................. Forgetting that................. And blaming the devil................. It has always been................. Not admitting being the one................. Who commit the wrongdoing................. It is human nature................. And that is the rationalisation................. Remembering the freud................. Oh god................. Miss that theory.................

22 nov 16 selasa...................

Wrg................... Ikip mpe malm................... Pulsa................... Allahuakbar...................

21 nov 16 senen...................

Ikip mpe sore................... Dvd bajakan................... Mlm gym w aan................... Atm dinus................... Allahuakbar...................

20 nov 16 minggu...................

Pagi renang................... Bulik nunut net dan makan................... Pul kos................... Jemput nina................... Lunch at mcd w maya n nina................... Lunch season 2 at orenji sushi singosari................... Ngantar nina................... Allahuakbar...................

19 nov 16 sabtu...................

Ikip................... Nyuci motor................... Ikip................... Pul gasik................... Mlm gym w aan................... Burjo................... Allahuakbar...................

18 nov 16 jumat...................

Ikip . ................... Pul gasik................... Allahuakbar...................

I am not good in thanking.................

So i just say thank................. Hope that is enough................. I do hope the best for her................. Not coz of this................. But she is trully genuine................. Kind from inside................. Not good in being close................. Block them away................. Clear their closeness................. I admit being weird................. Building wall all over................. Being excluded................. Being alienated................. Being solitaire................. It has been this way.................

‘there was evil this morning.................

Blocking my smoothness process................. And then i got carried away................. Being annoyed................. Updating stupid things................. And then you come................. Help all................. Make it right................. And i am happy................. Up to now................. Hope it last................. Forever................. Not just today................. So it will affect them................. Spread this too................. To them................. This kind of happiness................. Smile................. Laugh................. Full of love .................