I wish I can disappear…………………………………..

something is broken………………………………….. It really hurts a lot………………………………….. sometimes being clueless is good………………………………….. not hearing something hurtful………………………………….. am I that innocent………………………………….. am I that stupid………………………………….. dear lord………………………………….. please send me good people………………………………….. my pray is bad now………………………………….. lord I am afraid I will be bad………………………………….. lord………………………………….. I wish I can be good person all the time………………………………….. lord………………………………….. I give it all to you………………………………….. I hope your karma is real………………………………….. lord I love you………………………………….. lord I miss you………………………………….. lord I want to go home …………………………………..

calluses heart…………………………………..

I got hurt a lot………………………………….. I got stab a lot………………………………….. I got break a lot………………………………….. maybe someday this heart will have calluses………………………………….. so my heart will be numb………………………………….. so my heart will not ache anymore………………………………….. I hope it comes true………………………………….. I wish I had heart full of calluses………………………………….. so if my heart got friction………………………………….. it will hold………………………………….. it will not break………………………………….. it will not crack …………………………………..

in the name of lord…………………………………..

I was really shocked………………………………….. the news is unbelievable………………………………….. it is really scary………………………………….. she has two faces………………………………….. mrp told me about mrsm………………………………….. she stabbed me from the back………………………………….. I don’t know what to think………………………………….. I don’t know what to do………………………………….. I don’t know how to react………………………………….. I thought she is on my side all this time………………………………….. but apparently not………………………………….. we are in the same mini group all this time………………………………….. I thought she is my friend………………………………….. but apparently it is like this………………………………….. all this time she seems nice in front of me………………………………….. but apparently it is like that………………………………….. I am really clueless………………………………….. lord………………………………….. do your magic………………………………….. I give it all to you………………………………….. I hope this hurt doesn’t last long………………………………….. I try to have positive thinking………………………………….. but it is really hard …………………………………..

the beginning of the end…………………………………..

I am in so much stressed right now………………………………….. I cant tell what is on my mind to mrsi………………………………….. because she is very close to mrsm………………………………….. she always thinks positively about mrsm………………………………….. I don’t dare to tell this………………………………….. she always thinks positively too about mrj………………………………….. though I tell a lot of bad things about him………………………………….. just realize it now………………………………….. maybe she already told mrsm………………………………….. about what all I have told her………………………………….. it is okay now………………………………….. it already happened………………………………….. put it all in his hands ……………………………………..