A little bit of suspect...................

All of this anger................... Because there is an aouter force................... That try to destroy me................... To destroy my relation with that person................... Very cruel................... God................... I search protection under your wings................... From all satanic tempation................... Who are cursed................... From all the black magic power................... That hurts................... From all satanic whisper................... That leads to darkness...................

God...................

Dag dig dug der................... You make me very nervous................... That girl................... I have a crush................... That student................... She looks amazing................... Physically................... And academically................... Why................... It is very strange................... Suddenly................... I am afraid to share with others................... Tell others................... Say it to others................... To you only god................... I can tell all ...................

Being passive again...................

If he goes................... Let him................... If he stays................... Thx god................... My ego................... I dont want to change for him................... He should accept me for what i am................... Like this................... With a lot of flaws................... I know................... There are many negative in me................... It has been a while................... I try to change................... But the heart is very heavy................... Feel being very burdened................... If you love me................... You should not try to change me...................

Last night...................

A lot of anger in heart................... Hope vs reality................... Hope i can be free................... To do anything................... That i want................... To please myself................... Watch movies nonstop................... Till i sleep................... Near the fan................... The reality................... Cant do all that................... Because of him................... Being disturbed................... Very annoyed................... Get angry................... Hot in heart................... Suspect there is hidden force...................

Maybe i dont need them................

Right now................ But i need them................ Sometimes in the future................ And at that time................ You will send them to me................ My kids................ My soulmate................ Run away................ Already sign................ Hope it will be ok................ God protects me................ A lot of works................ That part is not important................ This part is important................ For me................ Hope lord agree with me................ Amin ................

You dont trust me................

Coz maybe you know something................ About my future................ That will endanger my children................ But i really want them................ Keep asking................ Why................ Keep fixing myself................ To be worthy................ In your presence................ It is difficult................ But keep going................ To do that................

Her going there................

Jealous................ But i force my brain................ Not to be jealous................ I force my brain................ To have a different agenda................ A different place................ Your place................ There................ Far away................ Expensive................ Someday................ With your permision................ I will go there................ Really want it................ To do that................ But i am afraid................ Really afraid................

About him................

What should i do................ Should i go back to him................ Should i go on................ God................ Tell me................ I am confused................ A part of me want to be with him................ A part of me dont want to be alone................ A part of me want to do all the things i want................ All the things i like................ Spoil myself................ All by myself................ All alone................

About me................

Being a part of that team................ Having job there................ For sometimes................ And move to other places................ With the same team................ Having good times with work................ And more................ Again................ Alot................ Again and again................ Till god makes me stop................ But he lets me................ Go on and on................

Curious................

Suspect................ They go there................ To smart people................ About me................ To block me................ From that world................ Just like before................ When she leaks................ Tell me................ Honestly................ I surrender lord................ I give my live to you................ All of it................ For you................ Give me the best................ According to you................

Love that story................

The more of us................ The more i feel calm................ There are a lot of us................ Out there................ The power you................ Protecting us................ That will be awesome................ Coz you love us................ Coz you love me................ As much as i love you................ No question ask................ That is why................ I surrender to you................ Completely................ Just tell me................ What do i do next................

I dont talk to you alot................

In my room................ Coz i dont want ................ My fam knows................ About my words................ What we talk................ You know something................ About my future................ That i dont need kids................ That i dont need soulmate................ And i will be fine................ On my own................ All the time................ Coz i am with you................

1 mei 17 senen................

Pg k pedurungan................ Wrg................ Mlm sat k rmh................ Diner brg at ws supriyadi................ Nganter potong................ Sat nginep................ Allahuakbar................