kamis 2 8 12

pg ban bocor- k atm bpd ikip eror- atm bni- atm cimb msh kosong- atm bpd dinus- k unaki mpe sore- thx u lord- sore k laundry blm jd- help me lord- mlm k majt- k burjo alone- thx u llord-

rabu 1 8 12

pg k unaki mpe sore- thx u lord- sore k alfa- thx u lord- buber d shibuya w dwi putu sari- thx u lord- mlm k majt- k burjo w rian- thx u lord-

selasa 31 7 12

pg k unaki mpe sore- thx u lord- sore k majt/rian/ceramah/magrib/buko- thx u lord- mlm tarawih d dprd w rian- k burjo w rian- thx u lord- -

senen 30 7 12

pg k unaki- thx u lord- - siang k aha- thx u lord- sore k laundry- k majt/rian/ceramah/magrib/buka/rokok/isak/tarawih- thx u lord- mlm k burjo- thx u lord-

dangerous mind

waiting for something to begin. so i write anything to fill my time. there are many children around me. before this, i dont want to have children of my own. i want to adopt as many children as possible. seeing them, i hope i still feel the same. i try to compose and maintain my dream. as for me, my dream sounds promising, seems holly, leads me to U. but reading many articles about adoption, you seems to forbid any kind of it. i try to reason my own goal, in order to make myself believe that this is nothing against you. here, the three of them making noises of their own, living in their own world. there, they make fun of a retarded boy, assuming that what they do is fun. then what do i do? living in my own world. imagining my own future. when i am rich (when?????).....i will have a very big house. then i will adopt many children from indo. then i will become very famous. then everybody will respect me. the question is why the lord doesnt make me rich. does he think i dont deserve to be rich? i dont want to have this negative thoughts. i believe he loves me. i believe he will make me very rich. meeting a very pretty, sexy, big, smart, rich prince who loves me dearly, who loves me unconditionally. what a dream. once i read that it is sin to dream. if we only dream and do nothing about it, the lord will put us to hell. regarding the article above, i should do something about my dream. finding, searching, hunting the prince who is pretty, manly, hunk, macho, aka very very perfect (as for my taste only). perfect for me doesnt mean perfect for others. but still nothing wrong about me for being a dreamer. this is what makes me alive day by day. this is the purpose of my breathing. i live only for gaining my dream. who the hell are you judging what i want. you are not the lord. you cant say i am wrong. only the lord himself can do that. someone, once said that if i am not blaming everybody, i will have a broader brain which will receive every positive things this world offer. (i think this is from eat pray love). then after seeing this film, i regularly watch mr teguh. his speeches open my mind. then, i really hate him and my friends who love him. but now, i believe everything he said is good for me, and people in general. i try to maintain this so called positive attittude. but the environment always lead me to different way (this is once again blaming other). no use of it. me and my own self is responsible for what everything happen in my life. no one else control my life but me.