I never hated u …………………………..

I never hated u ………………………….. I dont hate u……………………….. Probably i wont hate u……………………….. I just want to mend my broken heart……………………….. As there is still love left for u……………………….. I try to avoid u……………………….. As i am afraid i fall deeper in u……………………….. I just want to be strong on my own………………………..

friend story......................................

taking the positive...................................... praying for her...................................... i hope she get what she wants...................................... i hope she is being positive...................................... i hope lord is with her...................................... praying for me...................................... the samev...................................... and more...................................... being jealous...................................... i think it is...................................... i get boiled reading the stories for all this time...................................... being envious...................................... i hope he help me...................................... not to make me jealous...................................... making me like her...................................... close to him...................................... close to people close to him...................................... close to poeple of his choice...................................... lifting my degree...............................................

heartbroken...................................

hurtful and painful................................... when i breath................................... the pain got real................................... i did have this so many times................................... and it hurts like hell................................... i dont want it anymore................................... making it as a lesson................................... making it as an experience................................... praying to him................................... asking him to make me close to my half................................... as soon as possible................................... but dont force him................................... he doesnt like that................................... asking him to make me close to good people................................... the ones that will not hurt me................................... the ones that will make me close to him................................... i hope he hears this................................... i hope he grants this................................... i hope he loves me .............................................

acceptance..............................................

from me.............................................. from god.............................................. from family.............................................. from friends.............................................. from society.............................................. but the most important is acceptance from myself.............................................. loving myself.............................................. deeply.............................................. being positive inside.............................................. getting positive outside.............................................. spreading positive everywhere.............................................. to the surrounding.............................................. they will love us.............................................. they will love me.............................................. he will love me.............................................. as he does accept me completely .......................................................

you make me this way.....................................

you make me love you..................................... and then you hurt me..................................... you leave me..................................... i want to kill you..................................... with my prayv..................................... with my mind..................................... with my brain..................................... i will send a lot of negativve thoughts to you..................................... to your life..................................... to make you uncomfortable..................................... trying to be a big heart person..................................... trying to not having a heartache..................................... praying good to him..................................... praying good for him..................................... praying good for me..................................... asking him to love me..................................... and loving him back..................................... totally .................................................

money for kids............................................

being shocked at the beginning............................................ now it is like this............................................ managing heart............................................ trying to let go............................................ there will be a chance............................................ from the one above............................................ as it is positive............................................ he loves this kind of thing............................................ if he allows............................................ as it is only prediction............................................ as it is impossible to know his thought............................................ but sending positive thought to him always............................................ he will be positive towards us............................................ he is the greatest............................................ he will make us good............................................ if we good to him ...................................................

negative thought for mrsm……………………………………………………

it is me making it…………………………………………………… but her name is on it in the first row…………………………………………………… I hate that…………………………………………………… want to tell mrsi bout it…………………………………………………… but she is such a leak…………………………………………………… surely she will tell her…………………………………………………… I hate that…………………………………………………… just pray…………………………………………………… I am confused…………………………………………………… just surrender to him…………………………………………………… he will make everything ok…………………………………………………… if mrsm is bad for me…………………………………………………… I hope he will make her stay away from me…………………………………………………… if mrsi is bad for me…………………………………………………… I hope he will make her stay away from me…………………………………………………… just pray…………………………………………………… hope that both of them are nice…………………………………………………… hope that both of them are good ……………………………………………………

pray for him……………………………………………………

if he is in a party…………………………………………………… I hope he is free from con action…………………………………………………… I hope he wont go to the dark side…………………………………………………… the corruption cycle…………………………………………………… I hope he can calm himself…………………………………………………… not always easily being angry…………………………………………………… just pray…………………………………………………… that he will be protected by him…………………………………………………… that he will be led to the right path…………………………………………………… that he will be good husband to mom…………………………………………………… that he will be good pa to sis…………………………………………………… and that he will succeed in whatever he does…………………………………………………… and that he will not be arrogant…………………………………………………… he will stay down to earth…………………………………………………… he will be good to everybody…………………………………………………… he will still be in his path…………………………………………………… he will not wander to the dark side ……………………………………………………

the poet and the boy…………………………………………………………

watching it again………………………………………………………… crying over it again………………………………………………………… this is so very good and so very sad………………………………………………………… in the same time………………………………………………………… I got addicted to it………………………………………………………… what the heck………………………………………………………… just be grateful………………………………………………………… thx u for everything………………………………………………………… thx u for making me this way………………………………………………………… thx u for the pain………………………………………………………… thx u for loving me………………………………………………………… I do hope we can meet soon………………………………………………………… I want to ask you many things………………………………………………………… there is so much going on in my head………………………………………………………… I barely can handle it ……………………………………………………………………….

what………………………………………………

the glasses……………………………………………… then the car hits the curb or else……………………………………………… it seems he doesn’t want me to be happy……………………………………………… I am sorry I have this bad thought……………………………………………… but when I had my promotion……………………………………………… the accidents come in sequence……………………………………………… the broken glasses……………………………………………… the accident with the car……………………………………………… making me very sad and annoyed and angry and confused……………………………………………… then the bad thoughts come in order……………………………………………… but I keep trying to have positive thinking……………………………………………… as they said that the accidents that come to you means that he loves you……………………………………………… so there they are……………………………………………… but it still in there……………………………………………… trying to question all what happen in this …………………………………………………….

no ngem…………………………………………

no mag………………………………………… I want to be diligent in last ten days………………………………………… but it is difficult as there are so many temptations………………………………………… I fail so many times………………………………………… lord help me please………………………………………… make me capable………………………………………… make me strong………………………………………… make me good………………………………………… don’t make me bad………………………………………… make me close to you………………………………………… I want to run to you………………………………………… but there are so many blocks me………………………………………… I am not having the power to resist………………………………………… I am afraid I will lose this battle ………………………………………………….

6 juni 19 kamis....................................................

with fam.................................................... at pak sarni slahung.................................................... mlm otw smg.................................................... mpe smg dg selamat.................................................... allahuakbar ...............................................................

5 juni 19 rabu....................................................

solat id w pa n sis.................................................... masjid dekat rumah.................................................... party.................................................... jemput bupoh.................................................... silaturahmi to places.................................................... mbah siti.................................................... bude lis.................................................... bude tutik.................................................... bude ucik.................................................... pakpuh benu.................................................... mas agus.................................................... pak senen.................................................... pak sayid.................................................... bu wahyuni.................................................... yang harti.................................................... pul.................................................... mlm otw sby with fam.................................................... takziah pakpuh edi.................................................... allahuakbar....................................................

4 jun 19 selasa ………………………………………………………………………..

4 juni 19 selasa.................................................... seharian d rmh.................................................... bukber w fam.................................................... alon2.................................................... toko1.................................................... toko2.................................................... allahuakbar....................................................

3 jun 19 senen……………………………………………………

with fam…………………………………………………… penjahit…………………………………………………… makam grandpa…………………………………………………… toko oleh2…………………………………………………… indmrt…………………………………………………… tetangga alama…………………………………………………… bude anjar…………………………………………………… makam grandma…………………………………………………… toko pertanian…………………………………………………… toko sambal…………………………………………………… toko oleh2…………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………… mlm masjid agung…………………………………………………… alon2 beli keraktelor…………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………

2 jun 19 minggu……………………………………………………

seharian d rmh…………………………………………………… mlm taraweh at masjid agung…………………………………………………… aloon2…………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………

1 juni 19 sabtu……………………………………………………

klinik…………………………………………………… mlm otw pon w ciprut…………………………………………………… mpe pon dg selamat…………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………

31 mei 19 jumat……………………………………………………

siang jumatan at majt…………………………………………………… mlm taraweh at majt…………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………

30 mei 19 kamis……………………………………………………

potongrambut…………………………………………………… alfa…………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………… dijemput bmei…………………………………………………… jemput maria…………………………………………………… bukber di jalan…………………………………………………… meet imus izur udin…………………………………………………… takziah k Pamela…………………………………………………… diner…………………………………………………… otw smg…………………………………………………… ntgantar maria…………………………………………………… diantar bmei…………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………

29 mei 19 rabu ……………………………………………………………………………………………….

kampus…………………………………………………… accident…………………………………………………… klinik…………………………………………………… wrg…………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………… mlm rapat warga…………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………… w ciprut to al fath…………………………………………………… saur at hokben…………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………