hsti it here..................................

one of the reasons is that.................................. the story is crazily insane.................................. making me very irritated.................................. knowing the story line.................................. hearing it unwillingly.................................. becoming stone in my throat.................................. but must accept it.................................. must be patient.................................. it will be a little more.................................. the course will be ended.................................. no more coming here.................................. connecting in office.................................. of in cafe.................................. or maybe there is a belssing in disguise here.................................. that i dont know ..................................

chat with him ....................................

great .................................... now he has a partner .................................... who has children and wife .................................... and he is ready .................................... that in the future he will be dumped .................................... and he also has plan .................................... making their own family .................................... lord .................................... want that .................................... lord .................................... help me .................................... send to me .................................... confused .................................... there are choices .................................... you want that .................................... i want this .................................... lord .................................... help me please ....................................

they do it again..............................

like before.............................. there is a plan.............................. but i do not go there yet.............................. and they have already been bothering me with a lot of things.............................. making me annoyed.............................. but i have to accept it.............................. i must be patient.............................. i must be silent.............................. report it to him............................................................ i hope it did not happen again.............................. the failure like before.............................. i hope bless it.............................. i hope protect it ..............................

want to pray..................................

but there are a lot of things they ask me to do.................................. buy them all.................................. but me.................................. i dont want it.................................. being thrifty.................................. and dont want to make myself comfortable.................................. when bringing not so much things.................................. i hope i can be strong.................................. i must be strong.................................. holding the desire to shop.................................. whn i cant do it in a day to day basis.................................. let the lord help me.................................. i believe that.................................. i beg for that ..................................