read a lot of statuses in media social………………………

makes me jealous……………………… makes me boiling inside……………………… want to be like them……………………… having a partner……………………… having a love affair……………………… having stories……………………… going places……………………… having a date……………………… having fun……………………… oh lord……………………… give me one……………………… please……………………… I don’t want to be alone ………………………

then come the photographer………………………

it is difficult to make a pose……………………… in front of the camera……………………… this is annoying……………………… what I want to do is modeling……………………… but I cant do pose……………………… you know how crazy I am……………………… I can do crazy pose……………………… I am expert in it……………………… the most expertise……………………… they can tell……………………… they can testify……………………… I swear I heard the whisper……………………… it is scary……………………… I hope it is nothing ………………………

before I thought bad about that man………………………

his face is fierce……………………… and he listens to my presentation closely……………………… and he did some notes……………………… I am afraid of what will he ask……………………… this is the first time……………………… but if it is a thing……………………… I think it is okay……………………… coz I am only here for this occasion……………………… I will not stay here……………………… I think I will not meet them……………………… I think they will not follow me……………………… we are different……………………… we did talk about them……………………… we make fun of them……………………… did they know……………………… did they get angry to us……………………… to me ………………………

wishing………………………

dreaming……………………… that someday……………………… that I will be the one who speaks there……………………… in front of the people……………………… telling things……………………… the stories……………………… the experiences……………………… all the storage I have……………………… I will deliver them all……………………… to them……………………… with god’s permission……………………… as it is god’s power……………………… who puts things in my head……………………… and it is also him……………………… the one who makes this brain ………………………

physical appearances………………………

the thing that become the most important thing to them……………………… from afar I can see that it is disturbing……………………… but the reflection mode is on……………………… then I realize……………………… it hits me……………………… it comes to me……………………… I did that too……………………… choosing people based on their appearances……………………… maybe I should change……………………… don’t know how……………………… but I will try……………………… in my mind……………………… it is a hard thing to do……………………… you know how you raised……………………… you have applied all the things they taught you……………………… and it is one of them……………………… it will be difficult to cast it away ………………………

the way you think………………………

the way you perceive people around you……………………… the way you view the world……………………… where you live in……………………… and how it affects you personally……………………… coz people cant live alone……………………… they live in herd……………………… you did that too……………………… and your herd shapes you……………………… your brain too……………………… it is communal thing……………………… if one thinks a certain position……………………… the others will follow through ………………………

the way you think………………………

the way you think……………………… the way you perceive people around you……………………… the way you view the world……………………… where you live in……………………… and how it affects you personally……………………… coz people cant live alone……………………… they live in herd……………………… you did that too……………………… and your herd shapes you……………………… your brain too……………………… it is communal thing……………………… if one thinks a certain position……………………… the others will follow through ………………………

this is exhausting………………………

waiting and doing nothing……………………… want to be productive all the time……………………… I don’t feel good……………………… something wrong……………………… I am afraid that I will be sick……………………… and then……………………… thinking bout that……………………… they exclude me……………………… in the name of lord……………………… it is okay……………………… that part is not my fortune……………………… god did this……………………… god puts me here……………………… coz this is my part……………………… my fortune……………………… the one that he blesses ………………………

the photographer is too much………………………

they disturb the presentation……………………… the presenter is weird……………………… there is one word being repeated……………………… over and over again excessively……………………… she makes me sleepy……………………… and I did sleep soundly……………………… when the presentation is not started yet……………………… I am amazed of myself……………………… I did drink coffees……………………… more than one glass……………………… but the sleepiness is not going away……………………… it is weird……………………… how come the coffee did not hit me……………………… it usually does ………………………