very annoying………………………………….

they don’t understand…………………………………. but they insist to help…………………………………. thus it is error…………………………………. make me boiling…………………………………. I don’t want to explain it the complete way…………………………………. it will be long…………………………………. lord…………………………………. make me patient…………………………………. make me strong…………………………………. I swear it…………………………………. I think it continuously…………………………………. make me grumble inside…………………………………. lord…………………………………. I am blocked…………………………………. you finish that…………………………………. not me…………………………………. I cant handle it…………………………………. I am not strong enough ………………………………….

the crime of the mind………………………………………

naughty mind……………………………………… dirty mind……………………………………… criminal mind……………………………………… put me in those places……………………………………… the prison of the impolite……………………………………… the prison of steel bars……………………………………… the prison of dreamers……………………………………… there are so many……………………………………… lead me to the hot place……………………………………… some lead me to the dark place……………………………………… and others lead me to burning place……………………………………… hell……………………………………… and those things never stop……………………………………… it is always working, grinding, grilling, rolling……………………………………… every little things can trigger those……………………………………… the dreamland……………………………………… mostly I go there……………………………………… where I can feel happy……………………………………… and no one judge me ……………………………………………

they have their wives........................

they have their kids........................ but they do couple things........................ in front of them\........................ in front of me........................ make me jealous........................ i do hope they are for real........................ coz they look good together........................ perfect in all aspects........................ in sync and in harmony........................ pray for them........................ they will last long........................ till the end of the day........................ and inspire everyone else........................ around them........................ to do the same........................ feel happy bout it........................ feel happy bout them........................ hope the same for me ........................ will happen soon........................ and fly me to the moon ........................

the paper is here...........................

but things dont look good........................... report it to dgroup........................... report to ugroup........................... that answer is shocked me........................... before she gave me hope........................... now she is like that........................... lord........................... make me patient........................... make me strong........................... i dont know anything anymore........................... i surrender........................... it looks like everything gots complicated since start........................... the paper is late........................... the paper is not approved directly........................... the letter between them........................... the admins are error........................... lord........................... let me continue my life........................... dont disturb me........................... dont hurt me........................... dont torture me ...........................

from earlier i dont feel like it being here...............................

a lot of sgins............................... the dead lamp............................... but it turns on again............................... the dead net............................... but it works again............................... then the heavy one............................... got the info............................... must find person from old place............................... find ex supervisors.............................................................. let it be............................... do it............................... dont over think bout it............................... dont make it heavy............................... if i get it............................... then thx to him............................... if i dont get it............................... then find another one ................................

the paper is done .........................

but things got complicated ......................... i hope they do things for me ......................... they are stupid officers ......................... they did know the date of the program ......................... but they still help my paper ......................... now when they release it ......................... it is too late ......................... it is useless ......................... it is all their fault ......................... i hope they know it ......................... and i hope thay pay their mistake ......................... make special program just for me ......................... or netter than that ......................... offering me study ......................... their pay ......................... lord ......................... make them do this ......................... for me ......................... for you ......................... for all ......................... lets conquer all ......................... lets destroy all .........................

it gets everywhere..........................

lord.......................... hate this.......................... i tell sis coz i have to.......................... as she take me and oick me up to the airport.......................... i tell my grup coz mrsm search for me when i am off.......................... i tell pa coz he tries to help me.......................... or disturb.......................... it feels like it.......................... lord.......................... i did held myself.......................... not to update my status.......................... i promise myself.......................... i will only update my status in blog.......................... where noone read.......................... only you and me know it.......................... lord.......................... i am afraid if i update my status.......................... and my haters read it.......................... they will send bad pray.......................... to make it all fail.......................... thats why ..............................

my old place...........................

lord........................... too much toughts........................... to much fear........................... make them dissappear........................... i will do everything........................... there are only two possibilities........................... being accepted........................... or rejected........................... if it is the second........................... then let it be........................... find another one........................... if it is the first........................... then it is thx to you........................... send them gift of being grateful ..................................................

they interfere ..........................

i am stressed coz of it .......................... i tell my stories to you .......................... just telling .......................... but i dont want you to help me .......................... let me do it myself .......................... with mu effort .......................... with my power .......................... with my sweat .......................... with my tears .......................... with my blood .......................... you can send me your pray .......................... that is enough .......................... very much enough .......................... lord help me .......................... make me patient .......................... make me strong ...........................

22 nov 18 kamis…………………………………………..

atm bni cimb………………………………………….. kampus………………………………………….. indosat………………………………………….. kampus gladi bersih………………………………………….. acara perpisahan………………………………………….. pul………………………………………….. kampus ditelpon bmei………………………………………….. bmei pjoko pyusuf………………………………………….. inul vista………………………………………….. kampus2 acara perpisahan………………………………………….. kampus ambil motor………………………………………….. pul………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………..

21 nov 18 rabu…………………………………………..

kampus………………………………………….. alfa………………………………………….. pul gasik………………………………………….. gym………………………………………….. pul………………………………………….. mlm ped………………………………………….. net………………………………………….. ngaji………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………..