i am at my loudest when i use my pen..............................

i dont know why it happens.............................. but it feel comfortable.............................. it is different when i use my tounge.............................. everything seems scary.............................. people seems bad.............................. they judge me.............................. all the time.............................. always.............................. i want to hide.............................. behind my pen.............................. under my papers.............................. i am happy this way ................................

pray and believe that he will give it to me .................................

maybe then i didnt put much believe in my pray................................. so it is like this................................. it didnt come true................................. gi hope i get the opportunity to go there again................................. and i will put all my believe in my pray................................. thus it will happen................................. believe he is nice................................. believe he loves me................................. believe he will help me................................. believe he will grant my wish................................. believe he will bless me................................. believe he will be on my side always..................................

three fences...........................

the right is being tight........................... the left is being sticked........................... the back is being nudge........................... at first it is annoying........................... then i think they are the fences........................... sent by him........................... to protect me........................... then i remember all this time........................... my whole life........................... being protected by him always........................... as i am now safe and sound........................... what could be wrong ........................... stupid me........................... not being grateful........................... then being really calm........................... as i am happy........................... realizing what i just realize now........................... want this to happen again and again ........................... keep loving him...........................

love poison.......................................

i shower myself with a lot of romance movies ....................................... rainbow film ....................................... person loves another person ....................................... i force myself to believe in love....................................... hence the mind spread it....................................... hence the aura scatter attachment....................................... hence the air deploy affection....................................... hence the surround disperse armor....................................... hence the love is radiated all over....................................... hence the wish is interspersed throughout the world....................................... hence the pray is seminated to the whole universe....................................... hence the hope is disjected to the far away land....................................... hence the whisper is percolated to mister right....................................... thus he will come to me .........................................