my heart stubbornly does on it own............................

choosing who it loves............................ it stupidly acts on its own............................ falling for that person........................................................ lovng the one i hate............................ recklessly being absorbed into his aura............................ my head can think rationally........................................................ my brain can judge clearly............................ but this stupid heart............................ i cannt handle this............................ i dont have the energy to control it............................ it is the one who overpowers me............................ i am completely iddiot............................ just wait and see............................ hoping for the best............................ wishing it doesnt do more damage............................ it has been broken so many times............................ the pain is excrutiating ....................................

i thought it was an acne.........................

it hurts and as i remember......................... this kind of hurt will create acne......................... the big one......................... but it turns out to be cold......................... a lot of sneezing......................... running nose......................... coughing many times......................... thx god she taking me there......................... thx god i meet the doctor......................... thx god i get the medicine......................... thx god he sneds me this......................... they say that it proves he still loves me......................... and it is a chance for me......................... to erase my sins......................... so lets enjoy this......................... finishing the med......................... and hoping for the best......................... hoping to get better soon......................... hoping it is not getting worse................................ he knows best ...................................

THX LORD she still needs me...........................

if she doesnt........................... it will be dangerous........................... being grateful as i found the positive in it........................... he shows me this........................... he meets me with her........................... he puts me here........................... it must be good for me........................... sorry if i still have questions........................... sorry if i still doubt........................... i still learn........................... to be always surrender to you........................... to your decision........................... and no more protesting........................... as i think myself is not having that level.................................... being worthy before him........................... i still have a long journey.................................... just walk it slowly .....................................