ilang

ilang
a lot of things slip through my hands.and it gives a heavy burdens in my brain.i ust need to write it down. so i can let it go and never think about it again. the things is that everything is belong tgo the lord so if the lord giveth then the lord taketh away i suppose i must let it go. but it is hard to do. so maybe i will try my way. usually it works. if i write it down, it will slipaway from my brain

mr adi take my tv
mr budi take my money
mr b take my dvdplayer
mr h take my money
mr tedi take my money
mr fendi take my money

actually they said they want to borrow those things, but they never return it. i try to ask them back, but i can not force them. so may be it is the way the lord wants to say to me that all i love in this worldis just fatamorgana. nothing real except the lord itself?????

sometimes life is so hard to handle.

sometimes life is so hard to handle. i just wanna die.once my friend told me about a pray for this. i dont remember the arabic but i remember the meaning "tuhan jika hidupku berguna maka hidupkanlah aku, jika matiku berguna maka matikanlah aku". everyday i whisper this sentence to the lord since junior high. i do not think my life is useful for anyone or anything. but the lord has different option. i just wonder what is my role in this life anyway

cur minggu

cur minggu

it always happens. when i am home i can not control my meal. i am overloaded. i am overdosis. i eat a lot. my stomach hurt like hell

just like that

i miss u lord
how many tears
do i have to drop
to bring you near
is a heartache isn't it
you're far away there
and i just sit right here
counting the dropping
the deep breathing
the exhaling
hope to let it out
but still
it remains
the second i breathe
the brick struck
right to the point
where i left my last
try to gather
all belongings
i try a little laugh
but the tears drop
just like that