The other thing is.......................

The graduate program....................... I stop making the prop....................... Coz my identity card....................... It is in problem....................... They get it....................... And i am afraid to ask....................... Maybe i should process....................... And then....................... It will finish....................... The same time....................... They give me card....................... Back to me....................... That is my wish....................... With god’s help.......................

Remembering the down.......................

Because of rejection....................... Because of forbidden....................... That was last year....................... And i am still down....................... So i dont participate this year....................... Next year....................... I will not be down....................... I will participate....................... I will pass the selection....................... I will join the program....................... May lord help me....................... And it will make my future....................... Brighter....................... Happier....................... More joyful.......................

Finally.......................

I can be here....................... Yesterday....................... It was full....................... I hate full....................... Actually....................... I forced myself to love full....................... I just realize that know....................... But i didnt remember it that time....................... In the full....................... I cant read....................... I cant write....................... That i hate....................... Now i can write....................... Hopefully it comes....................... The thoughts....................... A lot of it.......................

Being grateful.......................

For i can finish that prop....................... It finished in a day....................... And the thought is for quite some times....................... The heavy thought....................... So i should realize that now....................... The heavy stuff is not actually heavy....................... It is in your mind only....................... The devil puts in there....................... And you believe it....................... And you stress yourself....................... You feel down....................... You get annoyed by everything....................... Little things....................... It ruins your days....................... It ruins your life.......................

Oh god.......................

What happen....................... Something wrong....................... Am i dying....................... It feels strange....................... Will you finish me....................... Calling you....................... Mentioning your name....................... I am afraid....................... I know i have a lot of sin....................... Not that....................... I will accept....................... All your punishment....................... I am afraid of other things....................... I dont know what....................... I just feel it.......................

I take the medicine.......................

It doesnt help....................... What will happen....................... The cure is you....................... Will i go back to you....................... Will i go home....................... Dear lord....................... I love you....................... Show me the way....................... Then i will come to you....................... All the way....................... All you want.......................

The busy of them.......................

Want to get busy too....................... The journey to other city....................... Want that....................... The judge of beaty creature....................... Want that too....................... Oh my god....................... Sorry for the moment....................... Dont know....................... The heart get restless....................... Again....................... They say....................... The cure is....................... To remember you....................... To say your name....................... To read your book.......................

Thinking bout her.......................

Hope she reads it soon....................... Hope she agrees....................... If there is revision....................... Hope it will be few....................... Remembering long time ago....................... Hope she doesnt steal it....................... Like he did with his soulmate....................... That hurt a lot ....................... And make me down....................... For a long time....................... But thank god....................... I get up now....................... I can make this happen....................... With the help from him....................... I will always be grateful....................... For all he does.......................

Just a thought.......................

If i like this way....................... The rain....................... The journey without roof....................... Love it so much....................... Attach to it....................... Then....................... Maybe....................... He will provide another way....................... The roof....................... The walking box....................... The sliding wheels....................... Just be grateful....................... Not expecting anything....................... Enjoy the journey....................... Dont grudge....................... Feeling the difference....................... Not like used to be....................... Hating the rain....................... Cursing it when it comes....................... Now i feel at ease....................... Loving it....................... Enjoy it....................... Thank god.......................

And then.......................

The moemnt of truth....................... The end of explanation....................... Get the knowledge absorbed....................... By their brain....................... Hopt it runs smoothly....................... Successfully....................... And then it will help their future....................... To be bright....................... Not to be dark....................... Full of happiness....................... Full of joy....................... And affect everything else around them....................... Their family....................... Their friends....................... Their coworkers....................... Their neighbors....................... Their enemies even.......................

The next term.......................

It is late....................... Hate them....................... Not boiling yet....................... Hope it wont....................... Get the patient to come....................... Swallow it....................... Absorb it....................... Be with it....................... Get it within you....................... In your blood....................... All over your body....................... In your head....................... In your brain....................... In your mind....................... And then you will get affected....................... To be patient....................... To be calm....................... To be georgeous....................... To be loved by god....................... By others....................... By everybody....................... And you will be happy.......................

The fail of fasting.......................

The disturbance....................... From the colleague....................... That is why....................... I dont like being at office....................... Want to run away....................... All the time....................... Doing my thing....................... Privately....................... But then again....................... Maybe you have reason....................... I dont know what....................... Maybe i know....................... But i pretend not to know....................... It should be by turns....................... But i want it all the way....................... I want to force my self....................... To the limit.......................

The broken shoes.......................

I love these shoes so much....................... But he thinks it is inappropriate....................... That is why he takes them away....................... Maybe it makes me look good....................... And hence it attracts unwanted people be near....................... That is just prediction....................... Sorry if i am wrong....................... The thought sooths me....................... Calm my brain....................... The lost is unbearable....................... I should love you more....................... Not loving things.......................

And maybe.......................

Coz it is elephant....................... I love elephant so much....................... I dont know why....................... Maybe....................... There are great reading materials about them....................... Telling stories about them....................... How great they are....................... The personality....................... The character....................... As if....................... They are human....................... They can remember....................... Be grateful....................... Be friendly.......................

The morphology of elephant.......................

She calls me that....................... And i am happy....................... I dont know why....................... Maybe....................... Coz she is my friend....................... My best friend....................... We are at the same work....................... Same office....................... But we are busy....................... We cant meet often....................... We rarely meet....................... And the call reminds me....................... That as a friend....................... She can call me anything.......................

Thank you for preventing me.......................

To go picnic....................... And you give me job....................... That i cant go picnic....................... With my family....................... Then again....................... You give me job....................... That i cant go with my friends....................... I hope you have reason....................... I know you have reason....................... I hope i understand your reason....................... I love you all the way....................... To the core.......................

Thank you for making me busy.......................

I hope you blesses my salary....................... This is my hard work....................... For you....................... I am afraid that....................... My salary is not blessed....................... By you....................... With this....................... I hope you bless it....................... And i hope you accompany me all the way....................... Coz i feel this situation is really hard.......................

Diet.......................

Food....................... Hungry....................... They cant be together....................... I want to hate food....................... I will hate food....................... Surely do....................... I want to love hungry....................... I will love hungry....................... Will do....................... It is getting bigger lately....................... And it is not coming back....................... I am afraid....................... Lord help me....................... Make me love me....................... Love myself....................... Love you....................... Love everybody....................... Love everything.......................

Them.......................

Being noisy....................... Hate them....................... The reality is....................... I ignore them....................... And hate them very much....................... The ideal is....................... I should get angry....................... And make them quiet....................... But i am lazy to get angry to them....................... Who am i....................... Who are they....................... They are adult....................... They should think as adult....................... But remembering me....................... I am just like them....................... At their age....................... I am still a child....................... Cant think wise....................... Cant think as an adult.......................