and the teacher suddenly texts me...............................

ask for reschedule............................... he asks for tonight............................... thx god i can do it............................... i think it is a sign............................... that maybe i will have another plan for tomorrow............................... i hope it is true............................... and that plan will make me happy............................... to the max............................... i will overcome all this sadness............................... that has been on my mind............................... for quite some time............................... make me crazy............................... make me insane............................... lord help me please............................... cure me please............................... make me happy please ...........................................

mrsn..................................

i believe she wants the best for me.................................. but she cries a lot.................................. and all the tears she drops.................................. if it is because of me.................................. then it will be on my burden.................................. i will get the punishment.................................. from him.................................. she said she will come this weekend.................................. this is scary.................................. i should be good.................................. i should be nice.................................. but from the experiencev.................................. that would be difficult.................................. she and i never get along well.................................. just pray for the best.................................. he will help ..............................................

they give me hope again...........................

make me fly again........................... in the cloud of hope........................... i feel being played........................... but i hope i dont........................... i hope this is just my feeling........................... i hope this is not real........................... i wish they do have the ability to take care of me........................... and i hope their efforts are successful........................... i get the dead end........................... i dont know what to do........................... i surrender completely........................... i can only pray........................... i hope he hears me........................... i hope he accepts it........................... i hope he grants this........................... and she comes........................... and i cant do a thing........................... her thing is more powerful than mine........................... i am defeated........................... physically and mentally ...........................

mrj and mrsw................................

they do care about me................................ i am moved................................ they think about my visa................................ i am touched................................ i am ebing grateful................................ i will think positively about them................................ till the end................................ if in the end i cant go................................ then i believe lord has another plan for me................................ a better one................................ think that way................................ in the name of lord................................ i hope he listens to me................................ to my prayer................................ to my wish................................................................ to my crying................................ i want this so bad .....................................

that plane........................................................

i cant get it out of my head........................................................ it is burdening me................................................................................................................ lord........................................................ i am sorry if it was a mistake........................................................ but i cant help it........................................................ i will try to be good next time........................................................ but it hink this is good........................................................ i think you are here now........................................................ i feel okay........................................................ i can do things........................................................ what i like........................................................ what i love........................................................ it will make me happy........................................................ in the end........................................................ but the process is a thing to me........................................................ i hope it will be smooth till the end .....................................................................

i did have class..........................

i should teach.......................... i didnt have a thing to do.......................... i do nothing.......................... but i dont teach.......................... i just browse.......................... i just surf the net.......................... download a lot of series.......................... sorry lord.......................... sorry students.......................... this is me being stressed.......................... i hope i will be better soon.......................... and i will teach you again.......................... i will work again.......................... i will fulfill my duty again.......................... i will be responsible again.......................... not like this.......................... in the name of lord ..........................

i dont know how........................................

but i find a lot of series today........................................ and the net is also very smooth........................................ i should be grateful........................................ i should realize this kind of thing........................................ that it is all from him........................................ no other can do this........................................ he is in a total control........................................ of me........................................ of everything around me........................................ of everybody around me........................................ thus........................................ if someone has a bad intention for me........................................ i should ask for protection to him........................................ coz he knows everything........................................ and if something good happens........................................ i should always say my gratitude to him........................................ never forget him........................................ as he does everything........................................ then................................................................................ now......................................... next .........................................