that place...

............ that time............... that position............... wow me.............................. i did get what i wish............... getting that officer............... as i secretly pray for it............... and it surprises me to the core............... it was a great surprise............... dont forget to be grateful............... thanking him for what he done............... i was so very much moved............... up to now............... i cant get it out of my mind............... how come he do this............... what did i do to deserve this............... i know he is capable of everything............... but stilll.........................

dreaming in...........

the pilgrimage related things........... can do it over and over again........... so many times........... as the dream connects........... becoming model........... who got contracts all over the place........... around the whole world........... including that part........... the one near the cube........... and that he will arrange the schedule........... he will give so much space that i will calmly do my things........... whorshipping him...................... asking things to him........... thanking him endlessly........... and asking for more........... hot dank........... afraid of being ungrateful........... as the dream connects........... becoming youtuber........... with a lotf of [viewvers........... that in effect producing a lot of money........... making the video about travelling........... all over the world........... as the dream connects........... as i am having my study........... someone found me........... the one from that kind of people........... and offering the gigs........... the ones that will make me travelling around the world........... as you see........... the trigger is the hope to get my study........... and it overwhelmes me........... making my mind goes crazy........... spiralling and wandering all over the corner of the brain ......................

mrn..

........... he comes again into my mind............. keep hoping............. it hurts me............. and i am being stupid............. the memory is so strong............. the dream is so powerful............. it makes me overwhelmed............. if it is good for me............. i hope he bring it back to me............. if it isnt good for me ............. i hope he put it away from me............. from my mind.......................... if it isnt good for me............. i hope h help me to forget all about it............. i hope he help me erase this memory............. but the wish still lingers on............. hoping he is not bad............. hoping that if it is bad............. it will change into something good............. somthing wonderful ...........................

it is broken again.

........... making me sad............ i can do my exercise regularly............ i love doing it daily............ maybe more............ i was so good when it is new............ i did my best as much as i can............ then it is broken............ then i become crazy............ then i get it fixed............ but i have doubts............ that it will broken again............ so i did none after it get fixed............ lately i do it again............ but today what i am afraid of is happening............ dear lord help me please .....................

fortune is not always coming from jobs.....

working is a kind of whorshipping..... reliance doesnt mean we do nothing..... endeavor means we do our best to try..... fortune is just kind of a surprise from him..... we dont know our fortune..... our fortune knows how to find us..... it is written in his book of destiny..... is it mean i dont have to think about business for my old days..... not like that isnt it..... that is so wrong..... as being reliance doesnt mean doing none]..... being reliance means doing everything in our capability ........

my fingers hurt..

....... making me afraid......... what if something wrong happening to me......... what is i have something wrong in me......... that thought is scary......... rest assure......... he plans all......... including this......... may it a good thing or a bad one......... everything is on his book......... so just send him a positive thoughts......... and expect positive feedbacks from him......... it will make me happy......... i will be happy .....................

always be grateful.

............ thus i feel at peace............. everything will feel enough............. not wanting more............. not jealous of others who have things............. i do have things............. different from others............. as he think i am needing it............. every person has its own need............. so he gives each one of us differently............. according to our need............. very person has their own desire............. but that desire is not always right for us............. he judges it well ..............................

thinking bout it..

.......... i should give tip............ then............ when he is alone............ stupid me............ will do that next time............ find the right moment............ when he is alone............ and expect nothing from him............ expect nothing from this world............ but expect things from him............ the other one............ the one that control everything............ it is the only way............ it is the only right thing to do............ he loves this kind of things............ we do good deeds............ he gives us good deeds ..........................