The program is gone.................................

Should install again................................. Files are gone................................. Depressed................................. Forget what were the files................................. Who should i blame................................. This place................................. The place before................................. Or me................................. I should blame myself................................. Noone is doing the mistake................................. It is me................................. Just me................................. Damn................................. Fuck................................. Asshole................................. I think i had this kind of experience before................................. And that should teach me what should i have done................................. But i didnt do it................................. Although i know i must do it................................. Stupid me .................................

Bout him...............................

Lazy to meet him............................... But i have to............................... For the sake of the so called silaturahmi............................... So i meet him............................... And everything is good............................... Thx god............................... So if i have good intention............................... Everything will work fine............................... Seems like it ...............................

About money..................................

I should find fund again.................................. To pay for his tuition.................................. Before.................................. I get information.................................. But the requirements need a lot of papers.................................. That i dont have.................................. Coz of my ex.................................. So.................................. I plan to borrow from my work again.................................. Hope it is approved.................................. Lazy to think.................................. That i will get rejected.................................. The scary thought.................................. Tiring me ..................................

Thinking about serdos..................................

I fail.................................. So many times.................................. There are announcement.................................. Coming in waves.................................. I dont include in the first wave.................................. Second wave.................................. Third wave.................................. And so on.................................. Up to now.................................. What did i do wrong.................................. Is it any connection with that ex.................................. It is scary.................................. That thought ..................................

Especially about my won place..................................

This is for the sake of selling.................................. But i dont have them all.................................. When i am at office.................................. I am always by myself.................................. Busy with my own laptop.................................. Dont mingle with others.................................. Stupid me.................................. So.................................. I think it is impossible for now.................................. For me to get that position.................................. But i still have hope for someday.................................. God will help me.................................. If i get good intention ..................................

Thinking backward........................

I want that position........................ But for that position........................ I should have a good knowledge of relationship........................ And i should have a good relation both inside and outside this country........................ Both in and non education field........................ In all aspect........................ With all kind of people........................ But i dont have it........................ And in that position........................ If i want to get along with all kind of people........................ I should have topics for conversation........................

We meet........................

And just like that........................ We sit........................ Face to face........................ We talk........................ We laugh........................ We chat........................ We joke........................ As if nothing happens........................ What the hell........................ Then what was that........................ The pain for all those times........................ Stupid me........................