And the wait for more.................

The process of taking things................. Also taking time................. And you just be happy................. Sit there................. Doing your own thing................. Respecting them................. Respecting the self................. Karma is on bitch................. You get what you deserve................. You reap what you sow................. Blush the dark................. Color the shadow................. Rainbow the rain................. Blow the air................. Whistle the drum................. Beat the heart................. Take the rhythm................. And dance................. Move your feet................. Shake your body................. Shine your face................. Glow your soul................. And show them................. You are the conquerer................. Of the world.................

The peeking purple.................

Being ignored................. Have something else on my mind................. The picture of self................. Adore the self................. Being arrogant................. And stupid too................. Play to other world................. Imagine a different dimension................. The late of them................. Cant control them................. Just love them................. Remember the maker................. What else could be done................. Everything is in its place................. You are too................. He puts you here................. Be with them................. Full of love................. Wait for them................. To finish theirs................. Just watch them................. Imagine being them................. Carefree................. As it is really.................

The screaming.................

The shouting................. It doesnt matter................. You are on your own bubble................. You are covered with glitter................. Sparkling soul................. The halo of self................. Make you fly................. Up to the sky................. Dive into the cloud................. Be white................. Be pure................. The essence of self................. No spot at all................. Clean as star................. Just like them................. Free to laugh................. No prisonized attitude................. Let it be................. No pretending................. Showing the true self................. No burden to wear the mask................. To accomodate others................. To behave accordingly................. As they please.................

And it is difference.................

How you feel................. That kind of sound................. Apart from before................. The one that make you feel good................. The noises come................. It disturbs you................. And you promise yourself................. To be on the bright side................. All the time................. Will never get affected................. By this kind of input................. You can maintain................. The shining you................. Yes you can................. You are you................. You are made by him................. You are special................. Noone else can be you................. You are stone................. You are gold................. Molded by thunder................. Tough through the core................. Every inch of you.................

The waiting.................

And the shortage................. And then he appears................. Out of nowhere................. Startle me................. But makes me happy................. The scenery................. Put you in good mood................. The view................. Boost you................. Just enjoy the show................. What he provides................. Is good for you................. Noone else can do................. Just him................. And only him................. The master of everything................. The sounnnd of unimmmaginable voice................. The goosebump you feel................. And then you realize................. You dont have it................. And you need it badly................. How come................. What should be done.................

No credit...............

And then the warning comes............... He takes it............... You feel stressed............... That was your fun............... Your gate away............... Tu run away............... From this tormented world............... The reality that is full............... Of things you dont want............... You want to escape............... The thought of future............... When you find sanctuary............... Make you happy............... Please your bone............... Calm your soul............... Reduce your boiling head............... The pain on your chest............... The pressure on your heart............... The exploding lung............... The bursting vein............... The blood is all over you............... On your face............... On your brain............... You are dead...............

No sleep at all...............

Wide awake............... Hate the self............... What did i do............... Those liquid............... Three of them............... Full to the inside............... Touch the nerve............... Ruin the routine............... Make you have high sense............... Of everything around you............... Feel that something will happen............... Something bad............... But you just ignore............... You do what please you............... Dont care anything else............... Eventhough you know............... Him always watching............... What you doing............... Your bad things............... Over and over again............... As if............... You disgrace yourself............... And you disgrace him............... By doing what you doing...............

No connection...............

Hope it is not the sign............... The bad one............... Not inviting other negatives............... The rest will be sunshine............... No dark clouds............... The smile all around............... The laugh is on the air............... The happiness covers you............... The joy bathes you............... Believe it in your head............... Put it in your brain............... Thus it affects you............... To be full of light............... Shine all over the road............... Walk all over places............... Bring the sun closer............... Kick the shadow away............... Befriend with them............... The good............... The bad............... The in between............ .................. He makes them all............... Purposes behind them............... You dont know it...............

High edu...............

Hate the self............... Of being lazy............... Stay away from that session............... Not like i used to be............... Hunting here and there............... Full of spirit............... But now............... Spiritless............... Dont know what happen............... The feel of comfort............... Lure you away............... Blame all the failures............... Think there is time............... Much of them............... You are defeated............... By yourself............... The self of shadow............... Dark soul............... Burn yourself...............

It had been three times...............

I avoid them............... Dont do that again............... Love them............... Remember lord............... He will help you............... There is nothing wrong with them............... Is all in your head............... Not real............... That devil puts it in your head............... Dont think about it............... Just do it............... See them thoroughly............... They are beautiful............... Inside out............... Just like him...............

The new house..............

The invitation from sister.............. To stay with her.............. To accompany her.............. Nut the thought is negative.............. There is a lot of things i dont want.............. In that place.............. There is a lot of things i want.............. But there isnt in that place.............. Maybe bringing ones myself.............. To amuse the self.............. To provide self with happiness.............. That kind of thing.............. The beautiful creature.............. To be with me.............. To accompany me.............. Till the end of time’..............

Everything becomes something..............

The quiet is gone.............. Now it is crowded.............. Full of people.............. Full of strangers.............. People of different level.............. People of different ride.............. And then those buildings.............. Bring them all in.............. Chase away some of them.............. The ones on my level.............. But thanks god that there is.............. This one place.............. Where i can go.............. Rest my soul and heart.............. Be with them.............. The ones on the same level..............

The thought of that time..............

When i give her things.............. She would not appreciate it.............. Coz she gets nicer things.............. Not from me.............. From her family.............. Beyond my level.............. Beyond my reach.............. This is the thought.............. Dont know for sure.............. Maybe this is the red devil.............. Put thoughts inside my head.............. To ruin me.............. My everything..............

The wall..............

Closing to it.............. Leaning to it.............. Losing unconsciousness.............. Feel being attached.............. Followed.............. Embeded.............. Those crazy things.............. And want the easy way.............. The process of purifying.............. But they said.............. It should not be done.............. You should take the hard way.............. Clean yourself.............. By yourself.............. Do a lot of prayers.............. Bath the self with his verses..............

Different feeling i get..............

When facing you.............. Feel of worthless.............. Unwanted.............. Coz bringing a lot of sins.............. Doing a lot of negative things.............. But always hoping for the best.............. For forgiveness.............. As they said.............. He is the source of forgiveness.............. The source of everything.............. The good.............. The bad.............. The in between.............. And should believe.............. That he is always positive.............. Including this.............. How he handles me..............

Difficult to get up early..............

Lately.............. Then i feel it has connection with hairs.............. As thay said that hairs.............. Carry a lot of creatures.............. Should go to the barbershop.............. Cut them all.............. Clean them all.............. Thus i can be me again.............. Just like before.............. Is it not wrong, isnt it.............. Blaming it on the hairs.............. Lets see the difference.............. After the cutting.............. Just wait and see.............. Believe it will change..............

That jogja event..............

He said it is full.............. I dont believe him.............. I think he selected people.............. Only those who have things.............. What things.............. I dont have.............. Money.............. Physic.............. Both.............. Let it go.............. I will join better event.............. The best event in the world.............. Just wait and see.............. I will be happy.............. I will not be sad.............. That is not important.............. This is important..............

Be positive..............

I have something to give.............. I really do.............. It is from them.............. And i will transfer.............. I will deliver.............. All i have.............. To them all.............. I feel like i am going insane.............. Rest the heart.............. Just do what you love to do.............. What is in front of you.............. Do all of them.............. Sincerely.............. Let them be judge.............. Let him judge you..............