Realizing something…………………

How different he behave………………… In front of different people………………… Is it a good thing………………… I think so………………… Being a chameleon………………… Can survive on different people………………… But the negative thoughts come………………… He is different coz he kissed asses………………… Using everybody………………… Look good in front of people………………… Coz he can change …………………

Want something that is far away…………………

Whereas the near one is failed by me………………… So how come………………… God will not send you there far away………………… If you fail on this………………… The near one………………… If you succeed in the near one………………… Maybe god will consider you………………… As a choice………………… As a candidate………………… To be sent far away………………… Making changes………………… Making happiness………………… To them………………… Hence to you …………………

I said I don’t like this place…………………

Afraid………………… That that will really happen………………… Don’t do it god………………… I want to be settled………………… I must be settled………………… Then again………………… Spoke carelessly………………… Wrote recklessly………………… Hope that will not happen………………… Hope can do that………………… Smoothly………………… Amazingly………………… Wonderfully………………… Awesomely………………… Being the person who can handle this kind of place………………… Whatever this place is …………………

Something is missing…………………

Weird………………… It is strange………………… Very strange………………… Want to cry………………… I hope everybody is protected………………… I hope this place is protected………………… I hope this place is not evil………………… I hope this place nurture everybody………………… Make everybody happy………………… Make everybody get along well………………… Not killing each other in every way …………………

Remember the quote…………………

The saying………………… That everything has a hidden reason………………… So is this………………… God has something good for me………………… Behind all of this………………… I may not know it now………………… But in time………………… God will show me the reason………………… Everything will be revealed………………… Maybe if I teach in those two places………………… Something bad will happen………………… So god makes me not do that…………………

And I am not the victim…………………

I hope I am put away from the negative thoughts………………… But I have a lot of questions………………… Still………………… Why can all of this happen………………… It is weird………………… My mind is in chaos………………… My heart is in pain………………… Coz everything seems wrong………………… Then again …………………

Hope god protect me…………………

From people who only use me………………… Hope god protect me………………… From people who are mean to me………………… Who has bad intention for me………………… Hope god put me away………………… From thos kind of people………………… Are those two groups in opposite party………………… And I am the victim? ………………… I hope not………………… I hope those two groups are fine …………………

Who should I blame…………………

Myself? ………………… What did I do………………… A lot………………… Many sins………………… Uncountable errors………………… What is it………………… Something passed my brain………………… Just before………………… Hurt my feeling………………… A lot………………… Am I only being used………………… I hope not …………………

Very sad…………………

Information program got cancelled………………… Math program got cancelled………………… Who do that………………… Who is behind all this………………… This makes me very sad………………… Oh my god………………… Why do you do this………………… To me………………… I am here………………… But my mind is wandering………………… Far away………………… In the land of pain………………… How come is it being like this …………………

Crazy………………………..

Work doesn’t stop……………………….. I think……………………….. I go to office and go home early……………………….. But the jobs are never ending……………………….. Oh my god……………………….. Help me……………………….. I hope I can do it all……………………….. I hope you give me strength……………………….. I hope you are with me all the way……………………….. All the time……………………….. I love you god……………………….. Accompany please ………………………..

Fail to do fasting………………………..

Oh god……………………….. Very sad……………………….. I hope you protect me……………………….. And my fasting……………………….. In the future……………………….. It is like that place full of satanic force……………………….. The people in there is in satanic mode……………………….. All is in disguise……………………….. Afraid……………………….. God……………………….. Help me……………………….. I love you ………………………..

the moving desk

He said something……………………….. It hurts me……………………….. The desk supposed to for someone else……………………….. Someone new……………………….. How come……………………….. I am old……………………….. I am senior……………………….. I am here first……………………….. So I have the right……………………….. More right……………………….. Than the new one……………………….. What the hell ………………………..