Got jealous again………………..

It feels that I am being wrongfully treated……………….. Some gets many……………….. Some gets none……………….. Just like me……………….. The part says that it is coz of the sector……………….. But……………….. The part says it doesn’t have to be like that……………….. It is free……………….. Every part can do all sectors……………….. They are expert in it……………….. Including me……………….. Fuck……………….. Being cocky……………….. Is good……………….. Isn’t it ……………….. I don’t get the testing sector……………….. I don’t get the school sector……………….. Feel sad……………….. But god has plans……………….. Much more better than that ………………..

I am afraid………………..

I wont get the sit next to the window……………….. Then again……………….. Everything comes for a reason……………….. Including that……………….. If that really will happen……………….. But I hope not……………….. And the thought of him comes again……………….. Fuck……………….. Go away……………….. Remembering the stone in my head……………….. Praying good for them……………….. Hence……………….. Praying good for me……………….. For myself……………….. Pray nice……………….. Hope they get well……………….. With their love ones……………….. They said they had ones……………….. Hidden away……………….. Pray nice……………….. And they will get well too……………….. With their secret encounters……………….. Secret adventures……………….. Hence……………….. Is it the same for me……………….. They say so……………….. It is scary……………….. They say it lightly……………….. As if nothing wrong……………….. As if what they do is not wrong……………….. Being in relation with the love ones far away hidden……………….. And being in relation here……………….. With others……………….. Makes me afraid……………….. What if……………….. I get a lovely one……………….. But secretly he treats me this way……………….. But I believe in karma……………….. As long as I play nice……………….. I will get nice people……………….. Do I play nice……………….. What the hell ………………..

The one that got away…………………..

Always irritating………………….. It feels like a very big stone………………….. Inside my head………………….. Very burdening………………….. And they call………………….. And I just move here………………….. What the hell………………….. Then again………………….. Remember that thing………………….. That everything comes for a reason………………….. Including this………………….. I sit here coz of reasons………………….. Hidden reason………………….. Don’t know what it is………………….. But there must be something behind all of these………………….. Personally………………….. I just want the source …………………..

A very nice driver…………………..

Makes me want more………………….. Imagining things………………….. Got the text………………….. Beautiful text………………….. Got involved………………….. In a very complicated way………………….. But in a very lovely way………………….. Someone is watching me………………….. Got very aware………………….. Self aware………………….. Curse………………….. Want him feel what I want………………….. Want him want what I want………………….. Really god …………………..

The story of them…………………..

Telling the truth………………….. About something they did………………….. Hidden away………………….. They got lucky………………….. Then I feel jealous………………….. Hot damn………………….. Remember the promise………………….. Not expecting anything………………….. It is just me………………….. Like this………………….. Always………………….. Want someone………………….. But someone doesn’t want me………………….. Want to get close to someone………………….. But it is only one side crush………………….. Damnnnnnn …………………..

So god…………………..

Help me please………………….. It is sickening………………….. Remembering the promise………………….. Not to expect much………………….. Not to expect at all………………….. And then………………….. He is………………….. The one………………….. Already has a family………………….. Wife and kids………………….. Hot damn …………………..

But you always appears on my mind…………………..

Fuck………………….. want to curse………………….. want not to think about you………………….. unthink you………………….. the ones who are saucy………………….. the ones who are caught by my eyes………………….. I think………………….. They are having partners………………….. Just remembering the other group………………….. It is like that………………….. The ones who are shiny………………….. Are not available………………….. Fuck …………………..

The quarter of love…………………..

The quartet………………….. The herd………………….. The group………………….. So nice to see them………………….. It is nice to watch them from afar………………….. Want to join………………….. But I am afraid………………….. Feel disconnected………………….. Feeling stupid………………….. Nothing in common………………….. Tired to take care of him………………….. Tired of you………………….. Tired of thinking over you …………………..

Their show…………………..

Their agenda…………………..………………….. Feeling as an outsider………………….. Then………………….. Let it be………………….. Be thankful………………….. Be grateful………………….. Enjoy the moment………………….. Seize the moment………………….. Holy fuck………………….. There is so much going on………………….. On my mind………………….. It is chaos………………….. Chaotic brain………………….. Hope it will explode soon …………………..

Someone is watching me………………..

Get that feeling……………….. Feel weird……………….. Awkward……………….. Could it be the one……………….. Who can be with me……………….. For the rest of my life……………….. Laughing inside……………….. The dream is insane……………….. Promise……………….. Remember the promise……………….. Not to expect anything……………….. Expecting will hurt you……………….. So bad……………….. Then again……………….. Be grateful……………….. The morning is wonderful ………………..

Lets enjoy the morning………………..

By myself……………….. Alone……………….. Love that……………….. Though……………….. This heart is screaming……………….. Yearning for someone……………….. To be with me……………….. But it is really hard……………….. To find the one……………….. Holy fuck……………….. There again……………….. Be grateful……………….. The morning is amazing ………………..

Good sleep…………………………

In tent………………………… In the praying room………………………… In tent………………………… I don’t care………………………… I can sleep everywhere………………………… Anywhere………………………… The thing is………………………… It is time to get the heart restless………………………… They show me that thing………………………… Their togetherness………………………… Holy fuck………………………… Very jealous………………………… Hurts a lot …………………………

Exploding…………………………

It is better isn’t it………………………… Than just feeling like this………………………… Hell………………………… Restless………………………… So heart broken………………………… Why do they do the love stuffs? ………………………… Here I got dumped by the text………………………… They got lovey dopey………………………… Show off in front of my eyes………………………… Hot damn………………………… Shit………………………… The whistle is on …………………………

The mind is tearing apart……………..

The break up…………….. The view of love…………….. In front of my eyes…………….. Makes me jealous…………….. Hurt my feeling…………….. So bad…………….. Want to cry…………….. Shout it out…………….. Very loud…………….. Scream to the lung…………….. Till your heart out ……………..

I know it is hurtful a lot……………..

But help me handle it…………….. I want to be strong…………….. Him…………….. Got distracted…………….. For a while…………….. Don’t let the hope up…………….. Just be normal…………….. Take it easy…………….. Food festival…………….. Damn…………….. Too crowded…………….. Small plate…………….. Too many people…………….. It is difficult to eat…………….. But in the end…………….. I force myself…………….. To enjoy everything’…………….. And thx god…………….. I got full……………..

At first he won’t pick me up……………..

But in the end…………….. He did…………….. Thx god…………….. The journey was save…………….. Thx god…………….. He texted me…………….. He gets angry…………….. He dumped me again…………….. So…………….. Lord…………….. Let me be in peace ……………..

A very expensive ride………………..

But thx god……………….. It get me there on time……………….. His place is bad……………….. But thx god……………….. I can do my business……………….. The accident……………….. Flat tire……………….. Walk for a very long time……………….. But thx god……………….. We are save……………….. And we finally found……………….. The service place……………….. And thx god it makes me healthy ………………..

Is a good place………………..

Very nice……………….. Good looking people……………….. Make me want more……………….. But then again……………….. Promise yourself……………….. Not expecting everything……………….. Lets go flashback……………….. Nice walk……………….. Nice ride……………….. Though……………….. You grumble inside……………….. At first……………….. Coz you don’t have your breakfast first……………….. But thank god……………….. There is food……………….. From someone special……………….. I hope ………………..

The food is lacking’………………..

Many couples……………….. Feel jealous……………….. Promise to myself……………….. Not expecting much……………….. Not expecting everything……………….. Just go with the flow……………….. You get here……………….. Coz you want a get away……………….. So you will get your get away……………….. If you get a plus……………….. That is a gift from god……………….. Accept that……………….. Be grateful ………………..

27 agus 17 minggu………………..

Camp bravo lanjuut……………….. Bandung by minibus……………….. Smg by train………………..

26 agus 17 sabtu………………..

Nyampe bandung……………….. Dijemput aan……………….. Ban bocor……………….. Mampir aan……………….. Tol buah batu……………….. Sukabumi by minibus……………….. Camp bravi acara c3………………..

25 agus 17 jumat………………..

Kampus……………….. Pul……………….. Stasiun by gojek……………….. Bandung by train………………..

24 agus 17 kamis………………..

Wrg……………….. Kampus……………….. Bank jateng……………….. Cimb……………….. Superindo……………….. Pul……………….. Sore potongrmbt……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

23 agus 17 rabu …………………………

Kampus……………….. Wrg……………….. Nyuci motor……………….. Kampus……………….. Aan eror……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

When my hand cant shake you………………………..

Hold you……………………….. Touch you……………………….. Sad is what I feel……………………….. Unimaginable……………………….. Let us be the ones who know……………………….. Only the two of us……………………….. And him……………………….. There……………………….. Let us smile……………………….. Towards him……………………….. Let us present……………………….. Our white hearts……………………….. Before him ……………………….. Let him know……………………….. Let him judge……………………….. Let him bless……………………….. Let him curse……………………….. Let him cure……………………….. Let him do whatever ………………………..

Stressfull………………………..

The error gadget……………………….. Being full……………………….. The error app……………………….. Oh god……………………….. Should I ask for a new one……………………….. Damn……………………….. Fuck……………………….. Want to curse everything……………………….. There are many spent this month……………………….. And I think I will do more……………………….. For this one……………………….. And others……………………….. But this one is scary……………………….. I try to find the one with big capacity……………………….. But I am afraid I will not find one……………………….. They are liars……………………….. They cheat all customers……………………….. Including me……………………….. When they say they have a big one……………………….. It is only in the beginning……………………….. But……………………….. In the end……………………….. It will be smaller and smaller ………………………..

Find one………………………..

Find me one……………………….. Send me one……………………….. And let me settle……………………….. I am tired god……………………….. I beg you……………………….. I pray to you……………………….. I ask you……………………….. Me being naughty……………………….. Change from heart to heart……………………….. All the time……………………….. Never satisfied with one……………………….. Always distracted when the new one come along……………………….. I need the one……………………….. Who can make ma settle……………………….. Who can satisfy me………………………..

So………………………..

It seems like it……………………….. I am not one of them……………………….. Not on their circle anymore……………………….. May lord always protect me……………………….. The chat yesterday……………………….. With him……………………….. From different program……………………….. My previous program……………………….. Makes me think……………………….. That many people in this place are connected in a way or another……………………….. Family connection……………………….. But not me……………………….. Feel so alone……………………….. Feel as an outsider……………………….. So help me lord ………………………..

22 agus 17 selasa…………………………

Kampus………………………… Pulgasik………………………… Mlm londri………………………… Allahuakbar…………………………

21 agus 17 senen…………………………

Kampus………………………… Stasiun………………………… Mandiri………………………… Klinik………………………… Rs romani………………………… Pul………………………… Londri………………………… Rs romani………………………… Kampus………………………… Tokobuah………………………… Tilik b feni at tlogorejo………………………… Kampus ikut merpati putih………………………… Burjo w aryo………………………… Allahuakbar…………………………

20 agus 17 minggu…………………………

Kampus nunut net………………………… Jowo deles paguyuban………………………… Allahuakar…………………………

19 agus 17 sabtu…………………………

Ped w ciprut………………………… W dian and bulik k took stadion ngantar bulik………………………… Took elektronik Indonesia beli kulkas………………………… Took bubakan ngantar bulik………………………… Ped ngantar dian………………………… Indmrt eror………………………… Pul belanja ktinggalan………………………… Indmrt ambil belanjaan………………………… Allahuakbar…………………………

18 agus 17 jumat…………………………

Kampus………………………… Allahuakbar…………………………

17 agus 17 kamis ………………….

Kampus………………………… Klinik………………………… Kiki………………………… Mlm hotel hom………………………… Cod gajah………………………… Pulsa………………………… Allahuakbar…………………………

16 agus 17 rabu………………….

Kampus…………………. Pul gasik…………………. Pom…………………. Bca…………………. Wrg…………………. Alfamart…………………. Mlm sat k rumah…………………. Tirakatan…………………. Satrio nginep…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

15 agus 17 selasa………………….

Kampus…………………. Aristika…………………. Kampus…………………. Pul…………………. Ped nunut makan…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

15 agus 17 selasa………………….

15 agus 17 selasa…………………. Kampus…………………. Aristika…………………. Kampus…………………. Pul…………………. Ped nunut makan…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

14 agus 17 senen………………….

Wrg…………………. Kampus…………………. Workshop…………………. Pul…………………. Dijemput satrio…………………. At cimal…………………. Solat…………………. Diner…………………. Nontonv…………………. Sk…………………. Diantar satrio…………………….………………. Allahuakbar………………….

13 agus 17 minggu………………….

Ped nunut net…………………. W dian k bodypack…………………. Acehardware…………………. Pands…………………. Maksi at taman kb…………………. Took pkastik lili…………………. Indmrt…………………. Pul naruh brg…………………. Ped ngantar dian…………………. Alfmrt…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

12 agus 17 sabtu ………………..

Kampus…………………. Nunut net…………………. Seminar…………………. Wrg…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

It is a dark song………………..

Dark melody……………….. Dark story……………….. Drag me down……………….. But it is a magnet to me……………….. I cant get rid of it……………….. I am stuck………………..

I blame her………………..

But it is not her fault……………….. I blame me……………….. But it is not my fault……………….. I blame you……………….. But it is not your fault……………….. Then again……………….. It is only you……………….. Who can do this to me……………….. It is scary to blame you……………….. I am afraid of this thing……………….. Why you make me like this……………….. Why can you make me like others……………….. You know what it is……………….. I crave for the same side……………….. I cant go to the other side……………….. You know me……………….. It makes me cringe……………….. The thought of it……………….. It disgusts me……………….. The imagination of it……………….. About them……………….. About the other side……………….. How come……………….. You know it……………….. I know you know it ………………..

11 agus 17 jumat………………..

Wrg……………….. Kmps……………….. Wrg……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

10 agus 17 kamis………………..

Wrg……………….. Kmps……………….. Bca……………….. Wrg……………….. Mlm pijet at Vincent……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

9 agus 17 rabu………………..

Wrg……………….. Kampus……………….. Survey djowo deles……………….. Kampus……………….. Alfmrt……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

8 agus 17 selasa………………..

……………….. Kampus……………….. Kantorpos eror……………….. Maybank……………….. Bank jateng……………….. Kampus……………….. Sk……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

7 agus 17 senen………………..

Kampus……………….. Pak djariyo……………….. Kampus……………….. Jemput novala at undip……………….. Novala k rumah……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

6 agus 17 minggu………………..

Seharian d rmh……………….. Sore jemput dian……………….. At cimol……………….. Beli tas……………….. At ss……………….. At romani ngantar dian check in……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

5 agus 17 sabtu ……………………..

Pg kampus……………….. Nunut net……………….. Survey paguyuban w p peri p kis b fe b intan b tri p fian b yuli n husband……………….. At kopeng……………….. Maksi at bu toha……………….. At eling bening……………….. At wujil……………….. Macet total suwiiiii banget……………….. Diner at bakso doa ibu……………….. Kampus ambil motor……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

The stories is always a magnet to me……………………

Drag me near…………………… Drag me close…………………… Always come back for more…………………… And then I got carried away…………………… In the story line…………………… I become so blue…………………… So dark…………………… The imagination got wild…………………… Very wild…………………… Asking for more…………………… Much more…………………… To you I only ask…………………… The spark of the fireworks…………………… Ignites the flame…………………… Inside…………………… Burning within…………………… Yearning the love…………………… Of being together ……………………