He has a foundation.........................

He held mr and miss ramadhan competition......................... He held islamic women music group competition......................... He held islamic men music group competition......................... He held boy and girl young artist competition......................... He held children islamic song competition......................... He held islamic song competition......................... He held mr and miss islamic singer competition......................... He held mr and miss news anchor competition......................... He held islamic writer competition.........................

I am worth it.........................

Up to now i am afraid......................... To be close to those from upper class......................... Because i feel less......................... I feel unworthy in front of them......................... Upper class people......................... Now i change my brain......................... I am worth it......................... To join the upper class......................... I am good......................... I am nice......................... I am big......................... I am white......................... I am tall......................... I am smart......................... God loves me.........................

Togetherness.........................

Thank lord......................... It has been a while......................... Long time no gather around......................... But we just did......................... And everything was wonderful......................... We were happy......................... We cheered ourselves......................... Hope this will last......................... Forever and ever......................... And hope lord bless this......................... Our togetherness......................... Hope it brings positive......................... More joy......................... More laugh......................... More smile......................... More love......................... More blessing......................... God embraces us all.........................

Lately.........................

I cant control myself......................... Shop a lot......................... Buy a lot......................... So many things......................... Useless things......................... Now......................... I force my brain......................... I can control myself......................... I will......................... I can handle temptation......................... They cant defeat me......................... I am strong......................... Coz lord is with me......................... All the time.........................

27 des 16 selasa.........................

Ikip......................... Pedurungan......................... Tas eror......................... Allahuakbar.........................

26 des 16 senen.........................

Renang......................... Pedurungan......................... Kos......................... Lunch at pempek ny kamto w family......................... Kos......................... Meet rahman......................... Date at omahbaru......................... Mlm capcai......................... Allahuakbar.........................

25 des 16 minggu.........................

Dijemput aan......................... Renang......................... Burjo......................... Aan k kos......................... Mlm wrg......................... Allahuakbar.........................

24 des 16 sabtu.........................

Indomrt......................... Atm......................... Pedurungan......................... At dukun laptop mranggen diantar dian......................... Pedurungan......................... Omah baru......................... Ambil tas at servis......................... Mlm wrg......................... Allahuakbar.........................

23 des 16 jumat.........................

At jogja......................... At uny......................... Tes tkda dan toep......................... Hslnya ok......................... Thx u mom......................... Thx u lord......................... Jumatan......................... Lunch together......................... Ngantar mbak luasana......................... Omahe mamat......................... Magrib angel golek taksi......................... Akhirnya dpt......................... K smg by taxi berempat aku ika mamat mimin......................... Mampir toko oleh2......................... Makan at muntilan......................... First antar mamat n mimin......................... Then ika n me......................... Diantar ika’s husband......................... Allhuakbar.........................

Lappy.................

Yesterday get annoyed................. When she accidentally touch my lap................. And my lap is broken................. Error................. The charger is dead again................. Very annoyed................. My head is exploding................. Then i turn it off................. Then i go to the food stall................. Smoking................. Enjoying coffee................. Calm my brain................. Then i go back................. I turn it on................. Thank god it works................. This morning it is totally dead................. And i must surrender................. I accept wholeheartedly................. I am not angry................. I am not annoyed................. I believe in him................. There is a plan behind it................. There is a solution waiting................. Sevice................. Buy a new one................. Whatever................. Love you god................. Though................. It hurts a lot.................

Cant live without lap.................

I admit that................. And when you take it................. I am depressed................. Fall without stopping................. Fall into darkness................. Bottomless hole................. The soul is blackened................. A lot of tears................. Then you give a little bit of medication................. To the eye................. Beautiful scene................. Thank lord................. You take away the pain................. Just for a moment................. Love you................. Will never stop loving you................. Hope the solution is wonderful................. There will be two................. The service................. Hope it can................. Like long time ago................. Or i will buy the new one................. But i need the documents................. Help me lord................. I surrender................. Completely.................

Cc.................

For this time i am afraid i cant................. Control myself................. And it happens................. Now i must change my brain................. I must be able to control myself................. And it will happen................. Of course................. With his help................. His guidance................. His warning................. That is always there................. And will always be ready................. For me................. For all of us................. Without stopping................. Always accompanying................. Show the right path................. Not misguiding................. For my sake................. The sake of all................. For the healthy life sake................. Happy................. Save................. And blessed.................

Maybe it is time.................

For me to study................. There are many jobs................. Outside that lap................. That lap gives distractions................. A lot of them................. Never do the jobs................. Coz of that lap................. Again and again................. I choose that lap................. Over others................. Many others................. Damn................. God help me please.................

I got good marks.................

And i remember the quote................. Then i think................. It is all becuase of her................. So i thank her................. Thank god................. Now i am nice to her................. My brain is nice to her................. Coz i believe she prays for me................. Hopw i dont make mistake................. Loving her coz she prays for me................. Hope god knows my reason................. And i now pray for her................. For the same reason................. Hope god accept my pray................. Whatever my reason.................

22 des 16 kamis.........................

Ikip......................... Lappy eror......................... Burjo......................... At matahari......................... Servis lp eror......................... Kos......................... Lappy eror......................... Wrg......................... Taxi......................... Ipah......................... Sumberalam......................... At jogja w ipah mamat ika......................... Condongcatur......................... Omahe mamat......................... Nginep......................... Allahuakbar.........................

21 des 16 rabu.........................

Ikip......................... Wrg......................... Allahuakbar.........................

20 des 16 selasa.........................

Ikip......................... Mandiri......................... Ikip......................... Allahuakbar.........................

19 des 16 senen.........................

Ikip mpe sore......................... Allahuakbar.........................

18 des 16 minggu.........................

Renang......................... Pedurungan......................... With dian k kos......................... K energy eror......................... Jonas poto......................... Energy......................... Joas poto......................... Johar......................... Karpet arteri......................... Lunch at depan usm......................... Pedurungan......................... Kos......................... Mlm pijet......................... Indmrt......................... Tahugimbal......................... Allahuakbar.........................

Enlightment.........................

She said bad words......................... Take it positively......................... Throw it back positively......................... Just be silent......................... Let the brain process......................... Analyze it......................... Make it into many little pieces......................... And change those parts into positive......................... That will make you also positive......................... That will make you not angry......................... Not annoyed......................... And disturb your soul......................... You become sick......................... That is not happening......................... Your soul will be healthy......................... To do everything......................... To thank him......................... Always......................... For everything.........................

Strange.........................

I cant swim smoothly......................... Is it the glasses......................... The one that make me can see under......................... Make me afraid......................... Afraid of drowning......................... Why am i afraid of drowning......................... I can swim......................... But i cant float......................... Maybe that is why......................... I hate myself......................... I blame the red creature......................... Next time......................... I will be fine......................... I can swim......................... I can see under......................... I will feel ok......................... I will not afraid......................... God with me......................... Always.........................

There are two coming from pon.........................

The bad one......................... The other-world power......................... The one that i hate......................... And make me hate her......................... Coz she does that......................... And i blame the red creature......................... The other thing is......................... The one like the saying i read......................... It is all from her......................... Whenever i am lucky......................... It is her......................... That is why......................... Now i change my brain......................... Not hating her......................... Though it is very hard......................... Now i feel lucky......................... And it reminds me of her......................... Thank her......................... Thank god.........................

Mrs em versus mrs ef.........................

I thought everything is fine......................... Everybody gets along well......................... But i get the enlightment......................... Two cases......................... Some time ago......................... And yesterday......................... Scary......................... I hope they get along fine......................... For them......................... For me......................... For you......................... It scares me......................... The aura of fight......................... Silent fight......................... They fight secretly......................... Not in the open......................... That is more scary......................... I wish i am not in......................... The midlle of them......................... But i am......................... Hope god protects me......................... Honestly......................... I want the best for them......................... Is it the reason......................... Why you put me here......................... To make peace......................... For everyone......................... I hope i can......................... With your help.........................

Actually i dont want to eat.........................

Just want to hang out......................... Not in the room all the time......................... Neet different view......................... But want a quiet one......................... The one where i can read......................... Dont care tomorrow......................... Tomorrow is full......................... The morning task......................... The after morning stuff......................... Busy day......................... The fear is......................... I dissaoppint them......................... The biggest fear is......................... I dissappoint you.........................

Pedu home.........................

The same talk......................... Missing him ......................... When he is alive......................... She treats him bad......................... Now she is sorry......................... I think......................... Just prediction......................... The talking......................... The crying......................... Make me think that way......................... Wish you show her......................... The right path......................... How to behave......................... Like an honor woman......................... A respectable one.........................

Admiring you.........................

Admiring your creatures......................... They are so very beautiful......................... Can i have one of them......................... What to fear......................... You are with me......................... Nothing to fear......................... The pain......................... There is no pain as long as......................... You are with me......................... Hthe loneliness......................... And i believe you will......................... Never leave me.........................

Admiring you.........................

Admiring you......................... Admiring your creatures......................... They are so very beautiful......................... Can i have one of them......................... What to fear......................... You are with me......................... Nothing to fear......................... The pain......................... There is no pain as long as......................... You are with me......................... Hthe loneliness......................... And i believe you will......................... Never leave me.........................

Leaving math.........................

Leaving wife......................... Nooo......................... Being left......................... Being rejected......................... And then you give smooth......................... Thank to you......................... Being grateful......................... And then come the fear......................... That i thnik i dont deserve it......................... And then come the other thought......................... Beliving that i dont deserve it......................... Meaning that i dont believe in your judgement......................... That will offend you......................... The more i fear for you......................... I am sorry......................... Please forgive me......................... I believe in you......................... I believe in your judgement......................... I believe in you who believe in me......................... Hope this will not make me......................... Come undone.........................

Yesterday.........................

It was a full day......................... Many jobs......................... And there is no connection......................... Make my head boiling......................... It was burning......................... But i tried to be calm......................... And thank god......................... I can pass that day......................... Eventhough there were some problems......................... Being grateful......................... Hope it will be repeated this day......................... Being with you......................... Not leaving you......................... In this chaotic life.........................

It was weird.........................

Theirs are fine......................... Mine is in trouble......................... Then i was in so much pain......................... I passed the day in a gloomy aura......................... But i made it......................... That was you......................... I believe it......................... You were there......................... Always......................... Never leave me......................... Till now......................... It happens again......................... Being stressed......................... There are so many jobs......................... This head is exploding......................... Help me.........................

17 des 16 sabtu.........................

Ikip mpe sore......................... Allahuakbar.........................

16 des 16 jumat.........................

Ikip......................... Kopertis......................... Ikip......................... Pulsa......................... Allahuakbar.........................

15 des 16 kamis.........................

Ikip mpe mlm......................... Wrg......................... Allahuakbar.........................

14 des 16 rabu.........................

Ikip mpe malam......................... Wrg......................... Allahuakbar.........................

13 des 16 selasa.........................

Ikip mpe sore......................... K rs romani w aryo tilik mbahsunan......................... Wrg......................... Allahuakbar.........................

12 des 16 senen.........................

Pg pedurungan......................... Sore burjo......................... Allahuakbar.........................

11 des 16 minggu.........................

Renang......................... Pedurungan nunut net......................... Omahbaru ambil brg,buku, jas......................... Alfmrt tolkangin......................... Mlm k cl diner w fam......................... Pom......................... Allahuakbar.........................

10 des 16 sabtu.........................

Pg ngajar dinus......................... elisabet......................... Mlm pulsa......................... Indmrt mikremes......................... Alfmrt guntg......................... Burjo......................... Allahuakbar.........................

9 des 16 jumat.........................

Ikip......................... Pul gasik......................... Allahuakbar.........................

8 des 16 kamis .........................

Ikip......................... Pul gasik......................... Bhsl ps......................... Mlm k kfc......................... Allahuakbar.........................

Love it.....................

When i can do two things..................... At a time..................... Feel like i accomplish something..................... Coz i feel the jobs are never ending..................... It keeps coming..................... Again and again..................... If i finish one..................... The another will come..................... So when i can finish two at a time..................... I feel happy.....................

That kind of song.....................

That kind of calling..................... That kind of day..................... It always gives me chill..................... Something moves inside..................... In an uneasy way..................... And the dream continues..................... The adoption..................... The kids..................... They come along..................... The sister..................... We go together..................... Everywhere..................... In group..................... Happily.....................

That was a nice dream.....................

Hope it will come true..................... With the help from him..................... With the blessing from him..................... That would make my day..................... May whole days..................... But remembering the let go..................... The science of accepting..................... Not asking everything..................... Being sincere..................... Understand lord..................... Understand everything..................... His plans..................... His actions..................... All has reason..................... Although you dont know..................... But it all is for good..................... For me..................... For all.....................

That ship.....................

That land..................... Is it really our enemy..................... That people..................... That leader..................... Is it really dangerous..................... What if the true enemy is..................... Ourselves..................... The fight between us..................... Among ourselves..................... Enemy in the blanket..................... The stubborn..................... The stupidity..................... Wish you here..................... You make those kind..................... And you can handle those.....................

Job had to be finished.....................

Obliviate the dark..................... Source of down..................... Elevate the bright..................... Put high the light..................... Hilltop there will be..................... Great things will surely come..................... Ordinary wish..................... Raise the hope..................... Dream the sky..................... Onto the needle hole..................... Never miss the way..................... Leap them above..................... Entertain the under..................... Visit the below..................... It all counts..................... Till the days end.....................

I know there is something wrong with me.....................

Inside me..................... Body and soul..................... I am okay now..................... That was scary..................... I swear..................... It feels like..................... You are taking me..................... For real..................... And the fear comes too..................... I dont know why i am afraid..................... I hope i wont..................... When you really taking me..................... Next time.....................

Yes.....................

The dream..................... The new one..................... Lately it runs on the head a lot..................... Dont know the start..................... Having a secret partner..................... Who always shooting me..................... And post the video online..................... Getting famous..................... Getting viral..................... Getting a lot of viewer..................... Getting a lot of endorse..................... Getting a lot of income..................... Getting paid..................... To go around the world..................... For free..................... Making videos..................... Blessed by him.....................

What now.....................

Confused..................... Opening the door..................... Want to look busy..................... But have no clue..................... The head is blocked..................... Nothing comes out..................... Then that screen..................... Showing error..................... The wrong part..................... The blank part..................... Perfect..................... Full of story..................... Enjoy everything..................... Loving this..................... Loving you.....................

The other thing is.......................

The graduate program....................... I stop making the prop....................... Coz my identity card....................... It is in problem....................... They get it....................... And i am afraid to ask....................... Maybe i should process....................... And then....................... It will finish....................... The same time....................... They give me card....................... Back to me....................... That is my wish....................... With god’s help.......................

Remembering the down.......................

Because of rejection....................... Because of forbidden....................... That was last year....................... And i am still down....................... So i dont participate this year....................... Next year....................... I will not be down....................... I will participate....................... I will pass the selection....................... I will join the program....................... May lord help me....................... And it will make my future....................... Brighter....................... Happier....................... More joyful.......................

Finally.......................

I can be here....................... Yesterday....................... It was full....................... I hate full....................... Actually....................... I forced myself to love full....................... I just realize that know....................... But i didnt remember it that time....................... In the full....................... I cant read....................... I cant write....................... That i hate....................... Now i can write....................... Hopefully it comes....................... The thoughts....................... A lot of it.......................