Something is going on......................

And you dont tell me...................... I am confused...................... You are really a bad person...................... Come without invitation...................... Go without saying goodbye...................... Come to bring hope...................... Go leaving the pain...................... Your love is fake...................... Bullshit...................... All is painful...................... But i continue to hope...................... For you to come back...................... Why stupid ......................

Nice heart doesnt go with nice life......................

Nice intention doesnt go with nice paradise...................... What is that called...................... To let go is never easy...................... To forgive is the hardest...................... To let gi what i should forgive is betond my realm...................... I really cant...................... I tried so hard...................... Many times ...................... It is sickening...................... I fail all the time ......................

This is crazy......................

I got carried away...................... And this is bad...................... I am not feeling good...................... You kill me so bad...................... You are expert in this kind of thing...................... Many times you do...................... Many times i try to heal...................... Many times you drag me down again...................... And again...................... Trouble in paradise...................... The head is chaotic...................... The brain is damaged...................... Beyond believe ......................

I meet the story again......................

The hard life...................... Taken away...................... My heart and soul...................... Crazy bitch...................... Those are insane...................... Compare to me...................... Mine...................... So...................... Why do i always complain...................... Always...................... Lunatic...................... Tell me god...................... Lead me the way...................... This feeling is so frustrating...................... I am afraid...................... I am losing my mind ......................

They have what i want......................

I dont have...................... And i want it...................... And i want you to show me...................... How can i get one...................... Then...................... The saying goes...................... ...................... When you think what you want is good for you...................... Whereas it isnt...................... But that saying doesnt satisfy me...................... My heart still longs for it...................... Badly ......................

He got what i want......................

I dont...................... How can i get that one...................... God help me...................... Tell me how...................... They go places where i want to go...................... I dont go there yet...................... I am not able to yet...................... Dear god...................... Tell me how ......................

Missing sutiyah......................

Missing sutiyah...................... Damn...................... Feel not good...................... The feeling is undescribeable...................... Want to scream...................... Calling...................... Love...................... Who is love...................... Who is he...................... Who is they...................... Who is me...................... Dont know the answer ......................

I wonder what are you doing to me......................

With this kind of heart...................... With this kind of life...................... With this kind of desire...................... The sound of the night...................... Calling me to join them...................... In the dark...................... In the cold...................... Wandering with the wind...................... Whispering to the sky...................... Gazing to the star...................... Smiling to the moon...................... Everything is partying ......................

I will find you god.............................

But not with hard way............................. I cant stand it............................. This is the weak heart............................. You know it............................. And you give this story............................. You show me that you exist............................. But i am afraid............................. The whole way............................. Someday i will be a hero in your eyes .............................

Seeing them.............................

Two neighbor countries............................. Not getting along............................. Like my country............................. Not getting along with its neighbor............................. Just like others............................. Family that is not getting along............................. With their neighbors............................. Because they lack of understanding............................. Everybody must have strengths and weaknesses............................. We give understanding to the weakness of our family............................. But we not give understanding of the weakness of our neighbor............................. That we consider outsider............................. Whereas neighbor is the closest family that we have .............................

25 juni 17 minggu.............................

Pedurungan............................. Ngaliyan............................. Alfamart............................. Allahuakbar.............................

24 juni 17 sabtu.............................

Pedurungan nunut net............................. Dpmall/bioskop eror/kfc............................. Allahuakbar.............................

23 juni 17 jumat.............................

Pedurungan nunut net............................. Majt jumatan/rest............................. Atm............................. Dpmall/bioskop eror............................. Allahuakbar.............................

22 juni 17 kamis ...................

Kampus............................. Dayat ungaran............................. Alfamrt............................. Pul............................. Bca............................. Pom nunut solat............................. Transmart/nonton/bukber............................. Allahuakbar .............................

Evidently.......................

There is food....................... So....................... Last night i starve for nothing....................... Stupid....................... I didnt know....................... It was that way....................... It did happen....................... I want to cook....................... But i am lazy....................... Whereas when she is here....................... I want to cook badly....................... But i cant....................... Because the kitchen is ruled by her .......................

That time i was just a child.......................

Dont have money on my own....................... I should surrender to their want....................... I should say yes....................... Although i dont agree with them....................... I cant say no....................... I cant have my own opinion....................... Now i am what i am....................... I have my own money....................... Can do what i want....................... What i like....................... The one which is not because i have to....................... The one that makes me happy .......................

The news come............................

They go............................ I can be at home............................ I dont have to go places............................ But i have to go places............................ I must do something int those places............................ Then again............................ I want to be here............................ It is comfort here............................ It is nice............................ Feel relaxed............................ Enjoyed............................ Fun ............................ Close to you ............................

People should be ready for death............................

Any time any where............................ I should be ready for death............................ If it would happen............................ That i would die in this cloth............................ So be it............................ It would make me happy too............................ In a way............................ I think............................ So just let everything flows............................ As they are............................ Wear the cloth............................ Love the cloth............................ Let them talk as they wish ............................

The cloth vs the dead............................

I love the cloth............................ It is from her............................ It reminds me of her............................ Make me happy............................ Then she said about the dead............................ It connects............................ The dead and the cloth............................ Make me think............................ About death............................ I am not afraid............................ I dont care............................ I think the death doesnt scare me ............................

Then....................

I suddenly realize.................... That this thing.................... That get me away.................... Far away from you.................... Block me.................... From your blessing.................... Thx god you are not here.................... Although i miss you.................... Very much.................... But this is dangerous.................... Evidently.................... God still loves me.................... Hate it.................... When there is a good video.................... But i cant donlod it.................... I wish i am that guy.................... The guy who is expert.................... Expert in the tech.................... So i can process it ....................

I used to spent a lot of money....................

To run away on my holiday.................... So that they will think of me.................... As a lonely person.................... Now.................... I hate holiday.................... Coz i love to go to work.................... I am weird.................... They come.................... But they will go tomorrow.................... So i have to have a place.................... Just for one day ....................

I hate holiday...................

I have nothing to do................... Before................... I am confused................... When i got my holiday................... I dont want to be in my room................... Coz i dont want them................... To think of me................... That i dont have friend................... I dont have family................... I dont have places to go................... Now it is the same................... But i will survive................... Coz this is a free place................... My own place ...................

Your definition of heaven...................

In your words................... In your sentences................... In your book................... Is far from this kind of thing................... But then again................... You created this sort of thing................... And the other one................... The evil kind of way................... The one that doesnt have the luxury of independent................... You created that too ...................

Getting home..............................

Accidentally take the key to my room.............................. It is a sign.............................. That i get very stressed.............................. And you add problem to my pain.............................. My lap is error.............................. For a moment.............................. But you fix it.............................. Thx lord.............................. You are amazing.............................. Above average.............................. Way way above ..............................

As easy as that you cast me away..............................

You abandon me.............................. Then i see.............................. You dont really love me.............................. There are many plans.............................. I made.............................. For both of us.............................. But.............................. Now you left me.............................. You throw me away.............................. Without hesitation.............................. Still hoping.............................. Afraid of hoping.............................. Keep hoping.............................. Lord.............................. Help me.............................. If he is good for me.............................. Make him close to me ..............................

That cloth place..............................

I did get some of them.............................. But this brain wants more.............................. I can contain myself.............................. But my heart gets restless.............................. Damn.............................. Want to scream so bad.............................. Your call.............................. I want to go to your place.............................. To do the routine.............................. But i cancel it.............................. for no reason.............................. actually there is a reason.............................. i make it up.............................. and i hate what i did.............................. and it adds more pain ..............................

The kind of them..............................

It would be great of you.............................. Nice of you.............................. Kind of you.............................. To make one of them mine.............................. Or all of them.............................. Your place.............................. Do me bad again.............................. Make me stressed.............................. And i go wild.............................. That food place too.............................. It adds more pain.............................. To my brain.............................. Damn.............................. The devil is all over.............................. This time ..............................

The box..............................

Remember yesterday.............................. That driver.............................. Give idea.............................. To buy a car.............................. Rent a driver.............................. To become online driver.............................. So in a way.............................. I provide a work.............................. And add my income.............................. Only an idea.............................. All will not run well without your blessing.............................. So the first step i should make.............................. Is searching your blessing.............................. But i think that will be very hard.............................. All is grey.............................. All is mystery.............................. For me.............................. What is it that you want ..............................

Maybe with money ..............................

I will have a lot of fund.............................. And those funds will be my source of disaster.............................. To pay all my negativity.............................. Let alone.............................. With that money.............................. I want to pay his school.............................. To get him education.............................. Because you say.............................. You promise people.............................. Who pay for others to go to school.............................. A spot in your place.............................. With that fund.............................. I want to buy a place.............................. For mu business.............................. For my old days ..............................

Maybe with my own place..............................

He will think.............................. I will invite those people.............................. And there will be a lot of parties.............................. Let alone.............................. With my own place.............................. I want to have my own business.............................. I want to secure my old days ahead.............................. When i am retired.............................. And i dont work anymore.............................. I dont have any paycheck anymore.............................. I am afraid of being stranded.............................. Let alone.............................. I should.............................. Believe in you ..............................

Remember the last moments..............................

Want to be just the two of us.............................. But it didnt happen.............................. They were always there.............................. Being around.............................. One after another.............................. Annoying.............................. Want to get angry.............................. But i cant.............................. I am confused.............................. What did happen.............................. How can i stand that time.............................. If i think about it now.............................. I get very angry.............................. All is in the past ..............................

Your place..............................

This year.............................. Not like yester years.............................. A lot of coming here.............................. Feeling so close.............................. This time.............................. Seldom coming here.............................. Many times getting away.............................. Many reasons.............................. Far from you.............................. I feel far.............................. My heart is broken.............................. It is painful.............................. Feel like it is late.............................. It is almost finished.............................. Want to be close to you ..............................

Partner..............................

Want one.............................. The yesterday.............................. But this anger.............................. This ego.............................. Doesnt want to back down.............................. Doesnt want to make the first move.............................. Afraid.............................. What if when he knows.............................. That i am under his spell.............................. Then he will be as he wish towards me.............................. Like before.............................. That bastard.............................. I dont know lord.............................. I surrender.............................. I am tired.............................. Body and soul ..............................

Grandma..............................

Getting closer to that time.............................. The more i feel.............................. How much i miss her.............................. Make me cry easily.............................. Remember that time.............................. Cry and broken into pieces.............................. When i face him.............................. Because remembering her.............................. Because missing her.............................. Wanting to meet her.............................. But i cant.............................. Because of my anger.............................. To them.............................. My hate.............................. Grandly ..............................

Maybe with the study..............................

I will be arrogant.............................. And when i am there.............................. I will get along with them.............................. Because there will be much more free.............................. And i will run away.............................. Not coming back.............................. Becase in there i will fidn what i look for.............................. Let alone.............................. My want is.............................. When i get my study.............................. I will go home.............................. Share my knowledge.............................. And secure my position.............................. In my place.............................. Because at the moment.............................. I feel unsave.............................. Afraid being cast away.............................. Afraid being unrecognized.............................. Being stepped ..............................

Causing bad..............................

That is why.............................. God doesnt grant me these things.............................. The car.............................. The study.............................. The house.............................. The money.............................. Maybe with the box.............................. I will go places.............................. The negative ones.............................. Let alone.............................. My want is.............................. Going places.............................. To various destinations.............................. For not that kind of things.............................. Hope god understand ..............................

21 juni 17 rabu...................

Kampus................... Pulgasik................... Sore majt eror................... Wrg eror................... Tanahabang................... Allahuakbar...................

20 juni 17 selasa...................

Kampus................... Bukber at kampus................... Alfamrt................... Mlm masjid panut................... Allahuakbar...................

19 juni 17 senen...................

Kampus................... Bukber w matika................... Allahuakbar...................

18 juni 17 minggu...................

Seharian d rmh................... Allahuakbar...................

`17 juni 17 sabtu...................

Seharian d rmh................... Mlm majt................... Allahuakbar...................

16 juni 17 jumat ...................

Kampus................... Aan................... Pengadilan................... Aan................... Kampus................... At b diana bukber pgsd................... Mangkat nunut p fajar................... Balik nunut p kamto................... Kampus ambil motor................... Pul................... Pijet................... Allahuakbar...................

You teach me in different way.........................

About different hings......................... Differently from others......................... I am sorry......................... I take the easy way......................... It is fun......................... Enjoyful......................... I try to understand you this way......................... Try to get closer to you this way......................... Try to find you this way......................... Try to grasp your teaching this way......................... Because he is the expert in religion......................... That is why god loves him ......................... And make his life fun, enjoygful, easy......................... In my eyes......................... It seems that way......................... His success is limitless......................... Not like me......................... The expert of hell.........................

They believe.........................

By saying your name......................... In the act of cruelty......................... They will get your blessing......................... Is it true......................... Do you bless cruelty......................... Is it really......................... You are scary......................... How come......................... Where are you......................... Where there is that kind of thing exist......................... \the cruelty......................... Done by your people......................... People who claim to be on your side ......................... Do you really in the side of that kind of people .........................

Remember that story.........................

The writing......................... About a woman......................... Who is extremely expert......................... About religion......................... All of them......................... The ones that exist in this world......................... Your religions......................... But she doesnt get the calling yet......................... But she is good......................... Want to be like that......................... Be the expert in religions......................... Understand everything......................... And then i will get closer to you.........................

The whisper.........................

I do all the time......................... That say......................... I want to go home......................... It comes again......................... It disturbs me......................... I dont have home......................... Why you make me like this......................... You confuse me......................... Where is home......................... Where is you......................... I want you......................... To pick me......................... To take me......................... It is dangerous......................... The changing......................... People dont like changing......................... They like to be in the comfort zone .........................

The revenge.........................

The anger......................... That i keep......................... And i carry all the time......................... Everywhere......................... The story......................... Of a long time ago......................... The wait......................... The desire......................... To go all the way......................... Although it is hard......................... It is very far away......................... And he did......................... How bout me .........................

My pray.........................

The weird one......................... The woman in scarf......................... The lighter......................... And the other one......................... The dream......................... About the dirty thing......................... That i carry all over......................... Every where......................... Every time......................... Non stop......................... I know that is symbol......................... I know it......................... And i know the meaning......................... Something dirty inside my chest .........................

I do everything for you.........................

And i want you......................... Are the only one who know......................... I dont want anybody else know......................... You must promise me......................... You must help me......................... This mouth is leaking......................... Just like others time......................... I cant help it......................... You must help me......................... Keep this secret......................... It is between you and me......................... Just the two of us .........................

You left me.........................

Damn......................... It hurts......................... Miss you......................... But dont want to call you first......................... Wait for your call......................... This is stupid......................... I know......................... Pride......................... The one that destroys all......................... People......................... Community......................... Society......................... Peace .........................