26 sep 17 selasa……………………

Kampus…………………… Mlm arya k kos…………………… Sk…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

25 sep 17 senen……………………

Kampus…………………… Superindo…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

24 sep 17 minggu……………………

At Louis kienne…………………… Sarapan buray…………………… Renang at hotel…………………… Pul…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

23 sep 17 sabtu……………………

Seharian d rmh…………………… Mlm k baskoro…………………… K louiskenne…………………… Napanop meeting w baskro seno adi brian…………………… Nginep…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

22 sep 17 jumat……………………

Siang jumatan…………………… Sore k bilik pengajian 1th ombudi…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

21 sep 17 kamis……………………

Atm…………………… Superindo…………………… Wrg…………………… Bhslps…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

20 sep 17 rabu……………………

Kampus…………………… Pulgsk…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

19 sep 17 selasa……………………

Kampus…………………… Mpemlm…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

18 sep 17 senen……………………

Kampus…………………… Pulgsk…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

17 sep 17 minggu ……………………..

Klinik…………………… Nyuci motor…………………… Wrg…………………… Alfamrt…………………… Allahuakbar……………………

I am late……………..

They come after me…………….. Their preparation is error…………….. Amazing…………….. This class makes me stressed…………….. Want to curse…………….. Want to do fasting…………….. But meet her…………….. Want to go home…………….. But afraid if suddenly she looks for me…………….. And that is true…………….. Today I replace her teaching two classes…………….. And I was forced to eat…………….. I cant refuse…………….. Afraid to refuse…………….. And wait for second session is very long…………….. Be patient is needed ……………..

This fight is a lonely fight……………………………

You ask me to fight alone…………………………… I fight alone…………………………… Up to now…………………………… I want to survive…………………………… I want to do that god…………………………… Come to me quick…………………………… Send me someone please…………………………… I sacrifice all…………………………… All of me…………………………… For my fight…………………………… My lonely fight ……………………………

Stupid……………………………

Very stupid…………………………… Love someone who cant be owned…………………………… Love an asshole…………………………… But I did that…………………………… I did suffered because of an asshole…………………………… I did fall for an asshole…………………………… Long time ago…………………………… I hope he is dead now…………………………… In the deepest graveyard…………………………… Underground…………………………… I cant touch him anymore ……………………………

This is a lonely fight……………………………

You ask me to…………………………… And I do it god…………………………… But I hope you come to me quick…………………………… I cant bear it…………………………… Send me someone…………………………… God…………………………… Quick…………………………… Oh god…………………………… Want to move there…………………………… Live there…………………………… With new situation ……………………………

Just like my dream……………………………

Just like the tease…………………………… In the movie…………………………… In the story…………………………… It is all just a mirage…………………………… It all can happen…………………………… Here…………………………… With his help…………………………… With his guidance…………………………… With his blessing…………………………… And all will happen…………………………… With his love ……………………………

If I move there……………………………

The story will not be like the story…………………………… Not the same with my dream…………………………… Make me stressed…………………………… I thought I can make my own plan…………………………… But I just have to be in sync with her…………………………… And she made the plan the same for both levels…………………………… What the hell…………………………… What is the difference…………………………… I feel sorry for the levels…………………………… They paid but they don’t get what they deserve…………………………… They just got that…………………………… Not difference…………………………… Not developed…………………………… Not much…………………………… And the solution is…………………………… In the second meeting…………………………… I should revise my plan…………………………… And modify it ……………………………

That was easy…………….

The problem is……………. She asks me to buy book……………. Whereas I had already asked them to buy book……………. The different one……………. What the hell……………. Let see what will happen……………. Just tell them that……………. That they are obligated to buy that book……………. Personally……………. I don’t want to burden them……………. But……………. I am afraid of her……………. Just speaking to them……………. That buying book is obligated……………. Sorry……………. I am sorry god …………….

Remember old days…………….

That time……………. The time when I am stupidly in love with you……………. And I think I still do……………. That is why……………. I don’t want to meet you……………. I want to protect my heart……………. I hate the day you walk into my life……………. I hate the day I know you……………. I hate the day I meet you……………. I hate the day I recognize you……………. I hate the day I fall in love with you……………. I hate you make me want you……………. I hate you make me miss you……………. I hate you make me care for you……………. I hate you make me long for you……………. I hate you make me yearn for you……………. I hate you make me fall in love with you……………. I hate you make me hope to be with you always……………. I hate you give me hope……………. I hate you ever been inside my heart……………. I hate you visit my dream……………. I hate you come to my daydream……………. I hate you for ruining my life……………. I hate you for breaking my heart……………. I hate you for destroying my everything……………. But most of all……………. I hate myself for still loving you …………….

Bully…………….

Scary……………. Never gets that one……………. But really afraid of them……………. If someday I got children……………. I will teach them martial art……………. Self-defense……………. So they will not be bullied……………. And I will teach my self too……………. To be protected……………. To be safe……………. To be guarded……………. To be good in self defense…………….

They don’t have to like me…………….

Let them hate me……………. As long as they are clever……………. If they are smart……………. Thx god……………. I am succeed……………. Then maybe I can enter your heaven……………. They don’t have to like me……………. It is useless liking me……………. If they are stupid……………. I failed……………. Where is my responsibility……………. I will go to hell …………….

Damn…………….

Fuck ……………. Shit……………. It has been so many times……………. Always gives so many reasons……………. Just be dead……………. I want to be free……………. Want it soon……………. by all means……………. with his help …………….

Arghhhhh…………….

The connection is suck……………. Lot of works……………. Piling……………. Four days……………. but you teasing me……………. asshole……………. fuck……………. damn……………. motherfucker …………….

Stress maker……………………

The lap is suddenly death…………………… In the middle of my work…………………… I don’t save them all…………………… All works are gone…………………… Damn…………………… Sore throat…………………… The pain goes through the ear…………………… Weird…………………… Remember the old days…………………… When I was in elementary…………………… I remember to swallow fish bone…………………… And it feels it stuck in my throat…………………… So I connect them all…………………… This one…………………… It feels like that…………………… Painful…………………… Weird…………………… Want to insert my hand to my throat…………………… And just take the fish bone ……………………

But it think this is not the earth thing…………………..

This is a heaven thing………………….. This is your area………………….. With this program………………….. I will be good in English………………….. After that I will teach English better………………….. Thus the kids got good in english………………….. Thus the kids can get good jobs………………….. Thus in other words I help them………………….. Helping is your thing………………….. So this is also your program …………………..

But not anymore…………………..

The one is becoming more important………………….. But all is your plan………………….. I surrender………………….. I still apply for this one………………….. If I get through………………….. I do this first………………….. Then you………………….. If I don’t get through………………….. Then I directly go to you …………………..

If there is nobody…………………..

He will be bad’………………….. Act bad………………….. Talk bad………………….. Everything bad………………….. I don’t know………………….. I cant grasp it………………….. But something is bad about him………………….. May god help him…………………..

Being confident to pass…………………..

I want to pass………………….. With his blessing………………….. With his permission………………….. So be it………………….. I will pass………………….. And will be far away from all evils………………….. That exists here………………….. So I will get another program………………….. Of my won………………….. Being very thin………………….. Coz nobody will force me to eat………………….. All the time …………………..

The Philippine…………………..

Remember………………….. There were many movies from there………………….. But I cant find it now………………….. So many cute things…………………..………………….. Want to eat them all………………….. Crazy stupid bitch………………….. What sound is it………………….. Very annoying………………….. Disturbing………………….. I cant hear her………………….. She is good………………….. Her English………………….. It makes me enjoy her presentation………………….. New knowledge………………….. About money………………….. Saving …………………..

Sore throat…………………..

Stomach ache………………….. It has been for some days………………….. I have been to the doctor………………….. I had taken the medicines………………….. But it is not healed………………….. The thought………………….. Because of the water………………….. Because of what they say………………….. Thus I think negatively………………….. But I am afraid they are right………………….. So tomorrow I will not buy again………………….. The ones like yesterday………………….. Changing to others………………….. Maybe it will heal me………………….. Make me healthy………………….. Make me not sick………………….. Bismilah………………….. May god bless it …………………..

Distraction…………………..

The news is so big………………….. Becoming worrying………………….. There is something hidden………………….. But what………………….. Sorry………………….. Negative thought………………….. But it is usually like that………………….. The one comes again………………….. Wish it is mine………………….. Crazy thought………………….. Stupid bitch………………….. He is so good………………….. His English is so smooth………………….. Nature like language………………….. Damn………………….. I am so jealous …………………..

There are two programs…………………..

The same level of important to me………………….. If I can I will do both………………….. All with your permission………………….. Then………………….. This I ask for your permission………………….. To take the earth thing first………………….. But eventually it is your heavenly thing………………….. And after that………………….. I will visit you………………….. With all my heart………………….. My soul………………….. Bring all my dream………………….. My hope………………….. My want………………….. And I hope you grant all………………….. With full of love………………….. With full of blessing………………….. With full of grace………………….. With full of holiness………………….. Because I know………………….. Your love is unconditional …………………..

Long time ago…………………..

When I was in the previous program………………….. I ask for permission to the chief and I don’t get it………………….. While two other persons get it………………….. And they pass the selection………………….. Crying inside………………….. Now………………….. Ask permission to the vice chief………………….. Thx god get the green light………………….. Ask permission to the chief………………….. Thx got get the green light………………….. Ask permission to the dean………………….. Thx god get the green light………………….. Ask permission to the vice director………………….. Thx god get the green light………………….. I hope all of this is a clue that you are exist………………….. That you love me………………….. That you bless me …………………..

The plan is…………………..

To go there together………………….. With fam………………….. But I have this one program………………….. That I want it so bad………………….. May god forgive me………………….. For I choose the earth instead of heaven………………….. But I promise I will go to your house………………….. Later after I finish my program………………….. As my family plan………………….. If I go together………………….. My imaginary plan will not work out………………….. But if I go alone………………….. The chance that it will work is big………………….. Don’t you think so …………………..

Now…………………..

The presenters are from here………………….. I underestimate them at first………………….. But now my brain is changing………………….. They are great………………….. So much more beyond my grade………………….. And make me jealous………………….. You say jealous is a bad thing………………….. But this is a good jealous………………….. It makes me hope………………….. Hope to become like them………………….. Having education………………….. Knowledge………………….. Title………………….. And then………………….. I will share to all people………………….. Then………………….. This way you will never stop loving me …………………..

Asking the master…………………..

Moving to Europe………………….. With him and the baby………………….. For sometimes………………….. Living in peace………………….. And the first three come………………….. With their kids………………….. A lot of them………………….. We don’t get along well………………….. At first………………….. But finally………………….. We live in harmony………………….. So much fun………………….. With you in it………………….. With your blessing in it………………….. So much happiness………………….. Till the end of time………………….. Such a nice dream …………………..

His story…………………..

Telling that he got his degree from thai………………….. Oh my god………………….. My dream place………………….. Want to go there………………….. Want to study there………………….. So bad………………….. Dear god………………….. May you listen to this………………….. My pray………………….. My hope………………….. To go there………………….. To study there………………….. Smoothly………………….. And then………………….. Meeting them………………….. My people………………….. Being happy………………….. To the max………………….. With your blessing …………………..

The waving hand…………………..

Someone I know………………….. Being glad………………….. Being recognized………………….. Being acknowledged………………….. Still friend………………….. Thx god………………….. For all those reasons………………….. Me being very bad………………….. To him………………….. To them………………….. Dear god………………….. Thx god for all of this………………….. You give me friend………………….. You give me happiness………………….. Coz I know you love me………………….. Continually………………….. Never stop …………………..

Remembering last night…………………..

The plan………………….. Your house………………….. The end is near………………….. My imagination………………….. Getting there………………….. Being caught………………….. Crying a lot………………….. Disappearing………………….. Being taken………………….. Into my lovely imaginary world………………….. Being the fourth………………….. In the secret place………………….. Where nobody knows………………….. For sometimes………………….. Then the baby comes………………….. Then I must show myself………………….. Being seen………………….. With chain on my leg………………….. Being famous………………….. Being chased …………………..

Bismilah…………………..

It is me………………….. Now………………….. Attending the conference………………….. By myself………………….. Yesterday………………….. I was here………………….. But I was with someone else………………….. Who was very chitchat………………….. And I should comply………………….. Coz he is a senior………………….. Then I cant concentrate………………….. To understand what is going on………………….. In front of the room………………….. Whereas………………….. The speakers are foreigners………………….. And they are important to me………………….. Maybe god makes that situation………………….. With a hidden agenda………………….. Which I don’t know about it now………………….. But I will know it later …………………..

16 sep 17 sabtu……………………..

Seharian d rumah…………………….. Allhaukbar……………………..

15 sep 17 jumat……………………..

Kampus…………………….. Grandcandi seminar unika…………………….. Pul…………………….. Mlm dijemput irul…………………….. Makan at ss…………………….. Sk…………………….. Pul lupa bawa kunci…………………….. Nongkrong w tetangga…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

14 sep 17 kamis……………………..

Kampus…………………….. Grandcandi w pbroto…………………….. Seminar unika…………………….. Pul kampus…………………….. Byk tgs…………………….. Ngajar…………………….. Dayat…………………….. Allhuakbar……………………..

13 sep 17 rabu……………………..

Kampus…………………….. Bni…………………….. Pulgasik…………………….. Mlm pom…………………….. Javamall meet angit…………………….. Nonton…………………….. Atm…………………….. Alfamart…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

12 sep 17 selasa……………………..

Kampus…………………….. Karaoke w bumei pkamto atika pjoko…………………….. Kampus ambil motor…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

11 sep 17 senen……………………..

Kampus…………………….. Mpe magrib…………………….. Mlm londri…………………….. Alfamrt…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

10 sep 17 minggu……………………..

Kampus meet dayat…………………….. Sarapan pecel…………………….. Bengkel…………………….. Klinik eror…………………….. Pom hunut solat…………………….. Nyucimotor eror…………………….. Wrg eror…………………….. Pijet…………………….. Klinik…………………….. Pul…………………….. Mlm dijemput irul…………………….. Prpp…………………….. Diantar irul…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

9 sep 17 sabtu……………………..

Kampus nunut net…………………….. Dr ayu…………………….. Kampus rapat…………………….. Otw godong w bumei pkamto pucup pasep…………………….. Tilik posko kkn…………………….. Balik smg ngantar bmei…………………….. Kampus ambil motor] …………………….. Pom…………………….. K baskoro…………………….. Alfamrt…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

8 sep 17 jumat……………………..

Sd sendangmulyo 3…………………….. Kampus…………………….. Allahuakbar……………………..

7 sep 17 kamis ……………………….

KAMPUS MPE MLM…………………….. ALLAHUAKBAR……………………..

using rich students……………….

Like to sing a lot………………. What the heck………………. Cant do fasting………………. Cant do diet………………. A lot of eating ceremonies………………. I lost it………………. The point is………………. Now in my eyes all seems bad………………. I am afraid god………………. I am afraid I become bad just like them………………. Just like in my head………………. But I hope what is in my head is just imagination………………. I hope it is only mirage………………. But it doesn’t seem so………………. All I imagine is really happening………………. Then again………………. I don’t know what is inside their heart………………. Why do they do all of that………………. I can only guess………………. And my guess is really bad………………. Sorry if I am wrong………………. This is all in my brain………………. All of things here is scary………………. Really ……………….