In the name of god…………………..

Very dizzy………………….. All is in the same time………………….. The run of them………………….. Scholarship………………….. Id………………….. Lecturer certificate………………….. In the name of god………………….. I hope everything runs smoothly………………….. I hope the one up there give his blessing………………….. To all of my efforts………………….. All of my up and down………………….. He knows my struggle………………….. Process will not cheat the result …………………..

Taking the salary note…………………..

Shocked………………….. It is very little………………….. The cut is so big………………….. Afraid………………….. Worried………………….. Then I force myself not to be afraid………………….. To be brave………………….. To believe in god………………….. That everything will be fine………………….. That he will guide me through all the difficult time………………….. That he will always provide everytime I need it………………….. The need of goodness…………………..

Shocking…………………..

so expensive………………….. but it is okay………………….. take it as a lesson………………….. for the next future………………….. nothing bad will come out of it………………….. and be sure………………….. believe in him………………….. that there will be a replacement………………….. with much more valuable …………………..

25 feb 18 minggu………………………..

Cfd w friends of pdec……………………….. At andi……………………….. Oleh2……………………….. Andi……………………….. Jne1……………………….. Jne2……………………….. Atm……………………….. Stasiun maket motor……………………….. Jne3……………………….. Oleh2……………………….. Legend eror……………………….. Gardenia meet lely……………………….. Pul kos……………………….. Mlm kampus perpisahan……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

24 feb 18 sabtu………………………..

Wrg……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Mlm idmrt……………………….. Wrg……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

23 feb 18 jumat………………………..

Kfc……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Alfmrt……………………….. Print……………………….. Muter……………………….. Masjid……………………….. Malangcitypoint……………………….. Tiket……………………….. Maksi……………………….. Nonton……………………….. Wrg……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

22 feb 18 kamis………………………..

Kfc……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Print……………………….. Kaosmalang……………………….. Matos……………………….. Koper……………………….. Kos naruh koper……………………….. Matos ambil motor……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

21 feb 18 rabu………………………..

Kfc……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Matos w nama fina bratna pbroto bimo nadya aziz widi anggi……………………….. Maksi……………………….. Nontom……………………….. Pondokdesa diner……………………….. Lancer jaya oleh2……………………….. Kampus ambil motor……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

20 feb 18 selasa……………………….

. Kfc……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Klinik……………………….. Wrg……………………….. Bb……………………….. Print……………………….. Bb……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

19 feb 18 senen………………………..

Meet pdec friends at midnight……………………….. K bromo by jeep……………………….. Penanjakan……………………….. Kawah……………………….. Pasir berbisik……………………….. Bukit teletubis……………………….. Lunch……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Ambil motor at andi……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

18 feb 18 minggu………………………..

Alun2 batu……………………….. Sarapan……………………….. Meet batu yogi……………………….. Museum angkut……………………….. Ws……………………….. Ngantar yogi……………………….. Pul……………………….. Matos eror……………………….. Kfc……………………….. At andi meet andi aziz widi……………………….. Kafe legend……………………….. Kampus……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

17 feb 18 sabtu …………………………….

Atm……………………….. Pom……………………….. Indmrt……………………….. Alun2……………………….. Pujasera……………………….. Meet pak natas n bu natas……………………….. Piknik at café sawah……………………….. Allahuakbar………………………..

Oh my god…………………..

Then I remember………………….. My id………………….. That is a very big problem………………….. God………………….. Help me please………………….. And the stress continues adding………………….. Serdos………………….. Dear lord………………….. It is like………………….. My priority got mess up………………….. Should I postpone my study………………….. Lets rearrange………………….. The English course………………….. The serdos………………….. The id………………….. The study………………….. That should be it………………….. Lets hope god bless this arrangement …………………..

It maybe that……………

Yesterday I wished to have it…………… Then I want to show off…………… That…………… That is so wrong in many ways…………… Now I change my perception…………… I still hope to get it…………… But no intention to share…………… To boast…………… It will be only for me…………… Privately…………… And for god of course…………… And the dream continues…………… Me still being me…………… Teaching…………… That person…………… Continue studying…………… Graduating…………… Getting a job…………… Getting settle…………… Getting blessed…………… From your part…………… From his part…………… From my part…………… That would be nice ……………

God…………………

I swear I am in so much pain………………… Mentally………………… A heavy stressed on my head………………… It is like there are a lot of things chasing me………………… Making proposal………………… Learning ielts………………… Registering doctoral………………… Finding scholarship………………… Hunting supervisor………………… Searching loa………………… Oh my god………………… This way………………… I can see them………………… The problems………………… So………………… The solution is………………… Making priority………………… The closest is learning English………………… Making proposal Then finding supervisor………………… Registering doctoral………………… Next getting loa………………… Searching scholarship………………… Help me god………………… I will try my best………………… The result is on your hand …………………

Just realize………………….

There is a cause…………………. Why I postpone my study…………………. Because I don’t have id…………………. My head spins…………………. Really hard…………………. Hypertension is on…………………. That is a very heavy problem…………………. For me…………………. God…………………. Help me…………………. The solution is…………………. Make it easy…………………. If it means for you…………………. Nobody cant block it…………………. Just find a way…………………. Ikha’s friend…………………. Family…………………. On your own…………………. Still…………………. I am really afraid ………………….

I hate it…………………………………….

When they try to match make me……………………………………. I come here for not that……………………………………. I come here for English……………………………………. Not for wife……………………………………. Not for spouse……………………………………. Not for romance……………………………………. And if I don’t take it……………………………………. It seems they hate it……………………………………. They will alienate me……………………………………. What the hell……………………………………. The solution is……………………………………. Concentrate to yourself……………………………………. To your English……………………………………. Make yourself better……………………………………. Before god……………………………………. Don’t care bout them……………………………………. Ignore them……………………………………. They don’t make matter……………………………………. Enjoy your moments in class……………………………………. Enjoy your moments in room……………………………………. Enjoy your moments in this city …………………………………….

16 feb 18 jumat…………………………….

Masjid……………………………. Sarinah……………………………. Kfc……………………………. Nonton……………………………. Malangplasa……………………………. Tiket……………………………. Masjid……………………………. Cfc……………………………. Nonton……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

15 feb 18 kamis…………………………….

Kampus……………………………. Dinoyo nonton……………………………. Atm bri dayat……………………………. Mlm indmrt……………………………. Wrg……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

14 feb 18 rabu…………………………….

Kampus……………………………. Bengkel ngantar lely……………………………. Wrg……………………………. Kampus……………………………. Bengkel ngantar lely……………………………. Afmrt eror……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

13 feb 18 selsa…………………………….

Kampus……………………………. Bengkel ngantar lely……………………………. Wrg……………………………. Kampus……………………………. Bengkel ngantar lely……………………………. Print servis……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

12 feb 18 senen…………………………….

Kampus……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

11 feb 18 minggu…………………………….

Kfc……………………………. Jemput andi……………………………. Otw piknik……………………………. Kesasar……………………………. Masjid tiban……………………………. Diner……………………………. Ngantar andi……………………………. Alfmrt……………………………. Pul……………………………. Café aventree……………………………. Meet lely……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

10 feb 18 sabtu…………………………….

Bb meet pak natas n wife……………………………. Oleh2 lancara jaya……………………………. Jne……………………………. Batu maksi……………………………. Air hangat cangar……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

9 feb 18 jumat ………………….

Kampus……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

9 feb 18 jumat ………………….

9 feb 18 jumat …………………. Kampus……………………………. Allahuakbar…………………………….

Suddenly very sad …………………

Too much ………………… Imagining the proposal ………………… Not doing it yet ………………… Nut only dreaming it ………………… And it has already become a burden ………………… A big scary one ………………… I am afraid ………………… Dear god ………………… Please come ………………… Please help ………………… Help me ………………… I don’t want to be alone …………………

This is me………………….

Calming myself…………………. Everything goes complicated…………………. Inside my head…………………. In my heart…………………. In my brain…………………. In my soul…………………. I try to enjoy…………………. I try very hard…………………. Then I see my old picture…………………. Being happy…………………. Want to recall that moment…………………. What was making me happy…………………. Being happy does not mean you do not have problems…………………. You do…………………. You have problems…………………. Tons of them…………………. But you do not let these problems overwhelmed you…………………. Outnumber you…………………. Outweigh you…………………. Control you…………………. You make peace with those problems…………………. You befriend them…………………. You being grateful to him…………………. For giving you problems…………………. For teaching you through those problems…………………. For making you strong…………………. For promoting you to the higher level…………………. Only if you win ………………….

I should not be afraid…………………………

Everything is planned by him………………………… Just do the best………………………… Be relax………………………… Conduct everything as perfect as you can………………………… And give everything to him………………………… The result is on his hand………………………… As long as you give your one hundred per cent effort………………………… You will be fine………………………… He will know………………………… He sees………………………… He understands………………………… He grants it………………………… If it best suits you………………………… Efforts do not betray results …………………………

The condition makes me to do this…………………………

To rush things………………………… Being over the hill………………………… The deadline is approaching………………………… It seems as if it is a big scary thunderstorm coming to you………………………… Chasing you………………………… Go after you………………………… You run as fast as you can………………………… You lose your breath………………………… But it still does stand behind you………………………… Very close to you………………………… Almost catch you………………………… You become afraid………………………… Worry of everything………………………… Makes your head spinning………………………… Viraling out of control…………………………

8 feb 18 kamis………………….

Kampus…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

7 feb 18 rabu………………….

Kampus’…………………. allahuakbar………………….

6 feb 18 selasa………………….

Wrg…………………. Kampus…………………. W andi widi ambil helm…………………. Bakso gun…………………. Superindo…………………. Cybermall…………………. Meet arin…………………. Nonton…………………. Makan…………………. Indmrt…………………. Ngantar andi…………………. Indmrt…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

5 feb 18 senen………………….

Kesiangan…………………. Kampus…………………. Mlm matos…………………. Notnotn…………………. Alfmrt…………………. Wrg…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

4 feb 18 minggu………………….

At indmrt meet yesika anggi yudit arin rini andi…………………. At coban rais…………………. Meet aziz…………………. At alun2 batu…………………. At superindo…………………. Pul…………………. Mlm at kedai kopi…………………. Meet lely…………………. Diner…………………. Pom…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

3 feb 18 sabtu………………….

Kampus…………………. W andi k legend…………………. Ngantar andi…………………. Allahuakbar………………….

2 feb 18 jumat ………………..

Kampus…………………. Matos…………………. Mlm k xxx…………………. Alfmrt…………………. Allahauakbar………………….

1 feb 18 kamis………………..

Kampus……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

31 jan 18 rabu………………..

Kampus……………….. W andi k mi ayam……………….. Café legend……………….. Ngantar andi……………….. Apotek……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

30 jan 18 selasa………………..

Kampus……………….. Alfmt……………….. Wrg……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

29 jan 18 senen………………..

Mpe malang terminal……………….. Gojek……………….. Pul kos……………….. Kampus……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

28 jan 18 minggu………………..

Paragon by gojek……………….. Meet nina ahmed lantip teguh maya……………….. Lunch at merugame……………….. Nonton……………….. Pul by gojek……………….. Diantar fam k nusantara……………….. Otw malang……………….. Allahuakbar………………..

27 jan 18 sabtu …………..

Mpe smg……………….. Dijemput ciprut……………….. Sarapan soto……………….. Dijemput arif……………….. At bu mei……………….. Diantar arif……………….. Pom……………….. Nusantara……………….. Potong……………….. Simpanglima……………….. Parker masjid……………….. Baskoro……………….. Pijet……………….. Allahuakbar………………..