another thing is……………………………………………

if I do this willingly…………………………………………… god will see this as my sincere giving…………………………………………… then he will reward me a big thing…………………………………………… it is okay to expect things from him…………………………………………… he will make my wish come true…………………………………………… he will grant my wish…………………………………………… what did happen…………………………………………… why do I sneeze so much suddenly…………………………………………… it is weird…………………………………………… lord help me please…………………………………………… don’t make me sick…………………………………………… make me healthy always…………………………………………… I have a lot of things to do…………………………………………… I have a lot of tasks to finish…………………………………………… just hoping for the best…………………………………………… wishing everything is amazing…………………………………………… running wildly but happy…………………………………………… whatever problem comes to me…………………………………………… believe that I will have power to solve it…………………………………………… believe that he will not give obstacles that I cant handle…………………………………………… he promises that ……………………………………………

don’t report about the separation……………………………………………

still get the fund…………………………………………… is it being blessed…………………………………………… maybe it is the cause why I am bloating…………………………………………… afraid…………………………………………… will report it if he allows…………………………………………… I hope he will bless me…………………………………………… I hope after that the fortune will come routinely…………………………………………… I hope I can manage my life…………………………………………… with minimum fund…………………………………………… scared…………………………………………… don’t be scared…………………………………………… if it is good then he will bless it…………………………………………… and keep working hard…………………………………………… work right…………………………………………… so the result is right…………………………………………… so the fund is right…………………………………………… so the meal is right…………………………………………… so the healthy is right ……………………………………………

have nothing to do here……………………………………………

just accompany her here…………………………………………… lets enjoy the time…………………………………………… lets keep smiling…………………………………………… lets keep laughing…………………………………………… lets keep loving…………………………………………… maybe lord has something behind this…………………………………………… maybe both of us will pass the document screening…………………………………………… both of us will be called for interview…………………………………………… will pass the interview…………………………………………… will get the awards…………………………………………… will go there and study…………………………………………… will finish study…………………………………………… will go back here…………………………………………… will teach again…………………………………………… till the end of time…………………………………………… and lord will bless that…………………………………………… will be on our side all the time ………………………………………………

the hot one comes late................................................

dont know what to do................................................ dont know what will happen................................................ just hope for the best................................................ thx lord there is someone who help me to pick the package................................................ thx lord i can do both jobs................................................ teaching as waiting their presentation................................................ and guiding for final paper................................................ and then there is a jammed situation in the middle of the process................................................ making me more annoyed................................................ in the name of lord................................................ keeping the self being calm................................................ keeping the self to enjoy the moment................................................ keep fighting................................................ keep smiling................................................ keep loving them ................................................

this happens................................................

i am late................................................ they are late................................................ it is karma................................................ i must be patient................................................ lets enjoy the moment................................................ do everything to make you happy................................................ the cellphone................................................ the paer................................................ the poem................................................ thx lord i bring big paper................................................ thus i can write a lot................................................ and i am cranky................................................ i dont eat yet................................................ this is dangerous................................................ and the signal is crazy................................................ and the line is crazy ....................................................

next time……………………………………………………………

if I got an exam again…………………………………………………………… I should leave a day before…………………………………………………………… so I am not wrecking nervous like this…………………………………………………………… lets make it a learning process…………………………………………………………… lets make it an experience…………………………………………………………… and another thing is…………………………………………………………… that if it is like this…………………………………………………………… I don’t have a room…………………………………………………………… I don’t have a bathroom…………………………………………………………… confused…………………………………………………………… note that…………………………………………………………… more thought on it…………………………………………………………… I think I am high maintenance…………………………………………………………… it is difficult to take care of me…………………………………………………………… want a lot of things…………………………………………………………… and the thinking goes…………………………………………………………… I love it…………………………………………………………… I want it to run fast…………………………………………………………… so it will feel as if I wait only for a little while…………………………………………………………… what did happen…………………………………………………………… why do suddenly I sneeze many times…………………………………………………………… is someone spraying pepper…………………………………………………………… it looks like it ……………………………………………………………

they say it will late for an hour……………………………………………………………

making me nervous…………………………………………………………… I hope I can make it tomorrow morning…………………………………………………………… wish me luck guys…………………………………………………………… scary…………………………………………………………… scared…………………………………………………………… nervous…………………………………………………………… my own mistake…………………………………………………………… I should leave this morning…………………………………………………………… or before…………………………………………………………… stupid me…………………………………………………………… but that was the past…………………………………………………………… it is no use being sorry over the spilt milk…………………………………………………………… now just pray…………………………………………………………… pray hard…………………………………………………………… pray really hard…………………………………………………………… lets hope lord bless me…………………………………………………………… and make it happen for me…………………………………………………………… taking the test tomorrow morning…………………………………………………………… then everything runs smoothly…………………………………………………………… thanks god for that…………………………………………………………… it is just that…………………………………………………………… the questions are difficult ……………………………………………………………

I am in so much trouble……………………………………………………………

lets go back to the previous state…………………………………………………………… just being an ordinary teacher…………………………………………………………… just teaching and being happy…………………………………………………………… and loving god…………………………………………………………… and hoping he loves me back…………………………………………………………… coz it hurts a lot…………………………………………………………… the work line…………………………………………………………… the love line…………………………………………………………… lets smile and laugh…………………………………………………………… gets and give love to the whole big world…………………………………………………………… and there is this case…………………………………………………………… if I don’t make it…………………………………………………………… the whole world will know…………………………………………………………… that I am stupid…………………………………………………………… in another aspect…………………………………………………………… maybe they will stop asking me for help…………………………………………………………… translating for free…………………………………………………………… that is annoying…………………………………………………………… in the end…………………………………………………………… I should not expect things from human……………………………………………………………

it is always like this……………………………………………………………

when you afraid…………………………………………………………… suddenly there is so much going on…………………………………………………………… in your head…………………………………………………………… it is very chaotic in there…………………………………………………………… a lot of thoughts…………………………………………………………… mostly bad…………………………………………………………… and it makes you more nervous…………………………………………………………… more scared…………………………………………………………… more afraid…………………………………………………………… oh my god…………………………………………………………… and I lost my note…………………………………………………………… making me more confused…………………………………………………………… making me more afraid…………………………………………………………… lord…………………………………………………………… how could it happen…………………………………………………………… help me please…………………………………………………………… you are the great…………………………………………………………… in the end…………………………………………………………… you did bless me…………………………………………………………… you don’t make me late…………………………………………………………… I can make it to the test…………………………………………………………… and I am grateful for that ……………………………………………………………

waiting……………………………………………………………

and being afraid of the result…………………………………………………………… I had paid expensive for this…………………………………………………………… and I got a very difficult question…………………………………………………………… and there is a possibility of not passing…………………………………………………………… I am in so much afraid…………………………………………………………… and now I am scared…………………………………………………………… waiting for the travel…………………………………………………………… I hope I can stay here till seven…………………………………………………………… lets hope so…………………………………………………………… just don’t know what to do…………………………………………………………… and it is annoying…………………………………………………………… seeing people around…………………………………………………………… it is good…………………………………………………………… as if nothing happen…………………………………………………………… at least I order food…………………………………………………………… and it is expensive…………………………………………………………… so it is my right to enjoy the place…………………………………………………………… for a long time…………………………………………………………… as long as I want…………………………………………………………… and there is no queue…………………………………………………………… so I don’t make trouble for others…………………………………………………………… so that is the solution…………………………………………………………… for my problem …………………………………………………………………..

dear someone out there ……………………………………………………

i need love……………………………………………… i will you give you love……………………………………………… all of it……………………………………………… all of me……………………………………………… all of my love……………………………………………… if you promise to love me back……………………………………………… not to hurt me……………………………………………… #needpartnerforlife ………………………………………………

thx u very much ……………………………………………………………………….

your cruelness erases my love for you……………………………………………………………… thx lord……………………………………………………………… twice you broke my heart……………………………………………………………… no……………………………………………………………… actually it is thrice……………………………………………………………… if I count the very first one……………………………………………………………… the one that me being stupid and idiot……………………………………………………………… now I realize……………………………………………………………… you are not good for me……………………………………………………………… I hope you find another victim……………………………………………………………… or maybe you just stop your cruelty……………………………………………………………… and become a nice person……………………………………………………………… who don’t play with people heart………………………………………………………………

beware of it ………………………………………………………………….

he puts a spell on you…………………………………………………………… pray hard…………………………………………………………… ask for protection…………………………………………………………… ask him to send away the bad people…………………………………………………………… the ones who hurt me…………………………………………………………… the ones who will hurt me…………………………………………………………… being stupid today…………………………………………………………… that time i promise myself not to meet that person again…………………………………………………………… i forgot it today…………………………………………………………… idiot…………………………………………………………… i must not forget it again next times…………………………………………………………… i hope he help me with this promise…………………………………………………………… believing he is bad…………………………………………………………… i am sure he meets another tonight……………………………………………………………

sometimes i feel very stupid.........................................................

he hurt me once......................................................... and i promise not to meet him again......................................................... but suddenly he texted me yesterday and want to meet......................................................... and i forget my promise to myself......................................................... and i get hurt again......................................................... very stupid......................................................... now i promise to myself again......................................................... not to meet that person anymore......................................................... i hope i remember this promise today onwards ...............................................................

23 ap 19 selasa…………………………………………………..

kampus………………………………………………….. kampus4 seminr………………………………………………….. pulgasik………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

22 ap 19 senen…………………………………………………..

kampus………………………………………………….. bni………………………………………………….. nyuci motor………………………………………………….. kampus………………………………………………….. meet lely………………………………………………….. undip atas………………………………………………….. maksi at sambel van java………………………………………………….. undip bawah………………………………………………….. pom………………………………………………….. alfamart………………………………………………….. mlm paragon nonton w nizar………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

21 ap 19 mingu…………………………………………………..

pg with fam k bergota………………………………………………….. wrg drcipto………………………………………………….. pul………………………………………………….. mom n pop gohome………………………………………………….. bengkel………………………………………………….. dpmall nonton………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

20 ap 19 sabtu…………………………………………………..

dpmall………………………………………………….. café………………………………………………….. wifi………………………………………………….. cimal………………………………………………….. beli training………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

19 ap 19 jumat…………………………………………………..

pg k atm………………………………………………….. siang ga jumatan, terkunci, motor dibawa………………………………………………….. dpmall meet aan………………………………………………….. diner at batanmiroto………………………………………………….. pom………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

18 ap 19 kamis…………………………………………………..

with cip and mom………………………………………………….. toko sambal………………………………………………….. dawet jabung………………………………………………….. toko mi………………………………………………….. pul………………………………………………….. sore with fam………………………………………………….. toko sambal………………………………………………….. otw smg………………………………………………….. me driving………………………………………………….. mampir madiun diner………………………………………………….. lewat tol………………………………………………….. keluar bawen beli bensin………………………………………………….. masuk toll g………………………………………………….. mpe smg dg selamat………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

17 apr 19 rabu ………………………………………………

with fam piknik k ngebel………………………………………………….. allahuakbar…………………………………………………..

hellboy

so.... they want to rearrange our mindset. it says that something from hell is good. they do good for us, for human. thay is why we should take part in their side of war. but the story so damn good. it makes us believe such thing. when the black powers try to conquer the world, the human try to fight back, but they fail. they need help. help from hell.

black stone

the one that got stuck in my head is that the koreans hate non korean. the son as non korean decendant got discriminated in the army. the parents as non korean got discriminated in the factory where they work. dad comes back to his home country. mom died of poor health. the son got raped by his supervisor, got aids, got discharged, killed the supervisor, run away, found mom died, go to his father's country ..... very dark movie.... very sad story..... and it stucks in my head, i cant get it out of my head..... holy fuck

shazam

the part that i love the most is that the main characters are the orphans..... is just like my dream that someday i will have a lot of orphans as my kids.... still a dream tho. the so not my favorite is that the adult version of billy is far from my expectation.... see..... billy as kid looks really really nice.... but as adult hmmmmmmmm still... the good overpowers the bad... it is nice isnt it

formula 17

finally get a happy ending film. it is nice the virgin got the playboy makes me jealous i want that too hmmmmm confusing sad ending movie makes me sad happy ending movie makes me jealos damnnnnnnnnn

spring fever

hah... sad ending lagi..... ada adegan yang nyantol... kayak adegan di the poet and the boy... dimana si istri ngelabrak bf suaminya....wow bingit gara2 itu si pria menjauh dari si suami.... bodohhhhhhhhhhh jadi sad ending.... si suami ga kuat ditinggal cintaa akhirnya bunuh diri bodohhhhhhhh this movie makes me scream inside.....

the poet and the boy

sudah lama ga posting tentang film. padahal nonton film nonstop. ga pernah habis. males nulis aja. tapi film ini jadi pengen nulis, pengen curhat....nyesek banget.... kenapa sad ending.... hate it so much... i dont like sad ending.... i love happy ending........ i want the man get the boy and they live happily ever after..... in the end the man give the boy much money thus the boy can wander the world on his own as the poet has a new born baby that need to be taken care of ........ sad..... but i cant get it out of my mind

now I should not chase the position………………………………………………

but if it comes to me I should accept it happily……………………………………………… now I should put my concentration on my teaching……………………………………………… I get my salary from there……………………………………………… so I should teach right……………………………………………… so my salary will be blessed……………………………………………… positive thinking towards him……………………………………………… maybe I was wrong……………………………………………… I thought I was ready……………………………………………… but he thought I was not ready……………………………………………… that is why he made me lost……………………………………………… another possibility……………………………………………… maybe he will give me a chance to take my study……………………………………………… thus he made me lost……………………………………………… but I am afraid to hope……………………………………………… don’t be afraid……………………………………………… keep trying……………………………………………… keep praying……………………………………………… let the result be on his hands……………………………………………… he knows what is best……………………………………………… in the name of lord……………………………………………… I hope there is always his blessing……………………………………………… in my life ………………………………………………

memory of karimunjawa………………………………………………

from the start I feel uneasy……………………………………………… but in the name of him……………………………………………… my goal is nice……………………………………………… I want to make myself happy……………………………………………… it had been broken……………………………………………… because of the yesterday lost……………………………………………… I don’t have negative intention……………………………………………… and then there is discount from committee……………………………………………… I pay only half……………………………………………… thx lord for it……………………………………………… I take it as fortune from lord……………………………………………… thx lord again……………………………………………… it was all positive during my time there……………………………………………… there is no negative……………………………………………… I don’t know bout her……………………………………………… she screenshoot status of mrb……………………………………………… and she upload it in our group……………………………………………… then there are comments……………………………………………… I keep silent……………………………………………… in the name of lord……………………………………………… I ope there will not be negative in the future ………………………………………………

headache………………………………………………

want to sleep……………………………………………… cant sleep coz of cough……………………………………………… very severe……………………………………………… lord……………………………………………… help me……………………………………………… heal me……………………………………………… will I die tonight……………………………………………… no more ice……………………………………………… no more fried food……………………………………………… no more smoking……………………………………………… those I promise to myself……………………………………………… now it is headache……………………………………………… and cough severely……………………………………………… ache all over……………………………………………… stomachache too……………………………………………… pain in chest too……………………………………………… in the name of lord……………………………………………… I hope these pains are eraser for my sins……………………………………………… it has been for a while……………………………………………… but I am not healed yet……………………………………………… maybe I have a lot of sins……………………………………………… so the erasing process needs time……………………………………………… positive thinking towards him……………………………………………… he must have reason …………………………………………………..

16 apr 19 selasa………………………………………………

w ciprut n mom……………………………………………… fruit stall……………………………………………… gold store……………………………………………… jemput aunt……………………………………………… makam grandpa……………………………………………… bn bcor……………………………………………… alfa……………………………………………… makam grandma……………………………………………… yang harti……………………………………………… antaer aunt……………………………………………… toko oleh2……………………………………………… toko beras……………………………………………… toko bawang……………………………………………… allahuakbar………………………………………………

15 apr 19 senen………………………………………………

kampus absen……………………………………………… pul……………………………………………… pijet……………………………………………… otw ponorogo w ciprut……………………………………………… allahuakbar………………………………………………

14 apr 19 minggu………………………………………………

karimunjawa……………………………………………… pantai bobby……………………………………………… dermaga……………………………………………… nyebrang jepara……………………………………………… maksi d jepara h ismun……………………………………………… otw smg by bus……………………………………………… pul diantar mas nug dll……………………………………………… allahuakbar………………………………………………

13 april 19 sabtu………………………………………………

karimunjawa……………………………………………… dermaga……………………………………………… snorkeling 1……………………………………………… snorkeling 2……………………………………………… pulau 1 maksi……………………………………………… pulau 2……………………………………………… mlm alun2……………………………………………… allahuakbar………………………………………………

12 apr 19 jumat………………………………………………

dijemput mrl and idul……………………………………………… jemput bu wid……………………………………………… kampus……………………………………………… ke jepara bersama rombongan matematik naik bus kampus……………………………………………… mpe pelabuhan……………………………………………… nyebrang karimunjjawa……………………………………………… hotel……………………………………………… bukit……………………………………………… pantai……………………………………………… malam k alun2……………………………………………… allahuakbar………………………………………………

11 ap 19 kamis ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

kampus……………………………………………… allahuakbar………………………………………………

fund in mrsr................................

fund in mrsn................................ i hope they come soon................................ i hope they are my fortune................................ i need money................................ i have a lot of to pay................................ i hope mrsr is good................................ i hope mrsn is good................................ i hope they give me my money................................ i hope those money come from him................................ i hope i get fortune regularly................................ i hope lord help me manage it................................ i am bad at it................................ managing money................................ i feel bad and stupid................................ dont want to be like this................................ want to be expert in it .......................................

the parking fee is up............................

making me think............................ i have to do something............................ it affects all............................ i need to be thrifty............................ this is not good............................ but i think i can handle............................ i think i will find a way out............................ maybe there is illegal parking lot............................ they do susually have it around the mall............................ and a lot of people go there............................ and they are fine............................ i did that in another mall............................ i hope i can do it again............................ i will survive............................ i need this thing really bad ..............................

cip.................................

no news................................. i hope she is fine................................. may lord protect her always................................. may what she said is true................................. may she and her friends do the assigment smoothly................................. may they finish it happily................................. may they celebrate joyfully................................. then they will do better than before................................. then they will get much more................................. in the lord blessing................................. in the lord way................................. never ashtray................................. happy for all ...................................

10 ap 19 rabu……………………………………………………………………………………………

kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………………………………………………… klini…………………………………………………………………………………………… wrg…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

9 ap 19 selasa……………………………………………………………………………………………

kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… pulgasik…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

8 ap 19 senen……………………………………………………………………………………………

pom…………………………………………………………………………………………… kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… dpmall meet lely…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

7 ap 19 ming……………………………………………………………………………………………

atm…………………………………………………………………………………………… dpmall…………………………………………………………………………………………… pulwrg…………………………………………………………………………………………… alfa…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

6 ap 19 sbtu……………………………………………………………………………………………

Pamela…………………………………………………………………………………………… kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… Pamela…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

5 ap 19 jumat……………………………………………………………………………………………

kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… klinik…………………………………………………………………………………………… wrg…………………………………………………………………………………………… klinik…………………………………………………………………………………………… apotek…………………………………………………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………………………………………………… jumatan…………………………………………………………………………………………… kacamata…………………………………………………………………………………………… pul…………………………………………………………………………………………… pijet…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

4 ap 19 kamis……………………………………………………………………………………………

kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… romani…………………………………………………………………………………………… kampus…………………………………………………………………………………………… ped…………………………………………………………………………………………… with ciprut dian hendra…………………………………………………………………………………………… kacamata gayam…………………………………………………………………………………………… atm…………………………………………………………………………………………… pands…………………………………………………………………………………………… makan d romani…………………………………………………………………………………………… ped ambil motor…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

3 ap 19 rabu ................................

siang reuni sd…………………………………………………………………………………………… klinik kacamata…………………………………………………………………………………………… allahuakbar……………………………………………………………………………………………

feel weird...............................

feel uncomfortable............................... feel being the center of attraction............................... i cant do anything............................... my mind is full of my loss............................... oh lord............................... help me please............................... i need you right now............................... to unravel all bad in me .................................... trying ti find something positives behind all these............................... maybe he has other good plans for me............................... maybe those who choose her............................... know a very good reason ............................... that she will be able to handle it better than me............................... maybe lord know that she is better in this thing than me ...................................

nz...............................

suddenly i feel stupid............................... suddenly i realize something............................... fund from there must be bigger............................... much more bigger............................... it hurts like hell............................... want to say this............................... make me the second............................... want to sing this............................... i can make you fall in love with me............................... though you dont love me ................... trying to find positives behind all these............................... maybe he is bad for me............................... maybe lord has a better person for me............................... mush more better ...............................

2 ap 19 selasa..............................

gym.............................. nurma afryda anugrah hesti k rmh.............................. sore k pamela.............................. sk.............................. allahuakbar..............................