maybe it is that

 

i was drag

and i am highly self conscious

holy moly

it seems all eyes are on me

it was weird

i tried to let go of her grab

but i could not

i just let her drag me

from the last row

to the second row

usually

i go crazy because of this kind of thing

but now

i just let it be

i dont care

i try not to care

tho i still care

but not as much as it used to be

now i think differently

i react differently

because of those dreams

my unrealistic dreams

my unrealistic wishes

my crazy hopes

i dream to be famous

and be crazy rich

and it happens just now

in that kind of sense

maybe it is that

or maybe it is him

who forces me to act this way

to react this way

to think differently from before

as i got older

i should get wiser

but i dont think i reach that level yet

all in all

my way of thinking is just the same with the youngrr me

the kid version of me

31 okt 22 senen

 

31 okt 22 senen

wrg

kampus

hotel

ppg

allahuakbar

30 okt 22 minggu

 

30 okt 22 minggu

apotek

wrg1

wrg2

allahuakbar

29 okt 22 sabtu

 

29 okt 22 sabtu

wrg1

wrg2

allahuakbar

28 okt 22 jumat

 

28 okt 22 jumat

wrg

kampus

allahuakbar

27 okt 22 kamis

 

27 okt 22 kamis

wrg

kampus

allahuakbar..

kenangan outbond at jogja bersama teman2 kantor

 

26 okt 22 rabu

 

26 okt 22 rabu

wrg

kampus

kfc aan

kampus

allahuakbar

kenangan kelas online

 

kenangan kelas online

 

kenangan kelas online

 

kenangan kelas online

 

25 okt 22 selasa

 

25 okt 22 selasa

wrg

kampus

mlm wrg

allahuakbar

24 okt 22 senen

 24 okt 22 senen

wrg

pom

kampus

allahuakbar

23 okt 22 minggu

 23 okt 22 minggu

shrndrmh

allahuakbar

should be

 

should be

him

asking for help

selling my old lappy

find snack

watermelon seed

should be

move forward two days

let alone i get signal

but me being stupid

very much

hate myslef ofr that

a lot

but all in all

there must be something in it

there is a reason which i dont know about

for sure

22 okt 22 sabtu

 

22 okt 22 sabtu

alfa

wrg

sore klinik

apotek

wrg

allahuakbar

21 okt 22 jumat

 

21 okt 22 jumat

jumatan

alfa

apotek

wrg

kampus

allahuakbar

the dream is to be in the far away land

 

the dream is to be in the far away land

always moving

always commuting

never stay in one place

going places

going around the world

visiting many places

seeing all kinds of scenery

admiring your works

admiring you

but it is not happening

and i dont see sign that it will happening anytime soon

i think i am going to lose my mind

i think it is near the end

and i feel being trapped here

it is scary

those who dont want it

they get it

lets pretend that i dont want it

but it failed so many times

as i really want it all

as he can read mind

lets just maximize all the things here

i should

 

i should

pay my own study

since i get the lecturer fund

or maybe after i finished my course in malang city

or maybe after i finished my course in canada

a lot of what if

and it makes my head hurts a lot

i am in pain

lets just all be all

everything has its own time

and including this

maybe then is not the right time

maybe this is the right time

i should make it clear

dear you

please give me a sign

any sign

i am afraid

wanting

 

wanting 

wanting a car

wanting to continue study

thinking

i think i dont need car

but if he gives me

i will accept it

of course

i think i should prepare my study

with my own money

may god help me

i hope i have enough

afraid that it is not enough

but must believe that he will make a way

I have to

 

I have to 

I have to take care of the head lector

it's been a long time

it's time

may god help me

I hope all goes well

good luck

afraid

I'm afraid it's hard to take care of it

I'm afraid the conditions aren't complete

afraid of not passing

can't be afraid

afraid only of him

everything is arranged by him

Thank God if it passes

doesn't pass means there's something

resigned

the important thing is doing the best

20 okt 22 kamis

 

20 okt 22 kamis

hotel

pul

kampus

mlm satrio

dpmall

allahuakbar

19 okt 22 rabu

 

19 okt 22 rabu

hotel

pul

kampus

hotel

allahuakbar