mrrr and mra……………………………….

suddenly think about them………………………………. suddenly feel less afraid………………………………. suddenly feel a little bit safe………………………………. though the scary thoughts are not out of my brain yet………………………………. lord……………………………….………………………………. thx u for those two angels………………………………. lord………………………………. don’t take them away from me………………………………. lord………………………………. I beg you ……………………………….

my legs feel funny……………………………….

is it a sign………………………………. is it bad………………………………. is it good………………………………. lord………………………………. help me………………………………. I am afraid………………………………. I can feel it………………………………. I don’t know how………………………………. but suddenly it comes………………………………. the scary thoughts………………………………. lord………………………………. take it away………………………………. lord………………………………. prevent it to happen in my life ………………………………. lord………………………………. I beg you ……………………………….

afraid……………………………….

if the satan will visit my family………………………………. afraid………………………………. if the police will visit my family………………………………. lord………………………………. let me take it all………………………………. let my family be safe………………………………. always………………………………. in your protection………………………………. and make me strong to take it all ……………………………….

what……………………………….

your home………………………………. if I cant go to that place………………………………. I hope I can go to your place………………………………. to your home………………………………. visit you………………………………. pray to you………………………………. worship you………………………………. hope to you………………………………. ask you………………………………. a lot of things………………………………. because you are the only place to ask………………………………. there is no other………………………………. only you who can do it all………………………………. only you who can grant it all ……………………………….

that place……………………………….

make me annoyed………………………………. then I update my status bout it………………………………. blame them………………………………. curse them………………………………. badmouth them………………………………. wish………………………………. they read it………………………………. then they will apologize………………………………. then get an offer of study………………………………. a lot of campuses………………………………. take it all………………………………. for post study things………………………………. wish it all real………………………………. dream it all………………………………. bless it lord………………………………. allow it lord ……………………………….

the ministry……………………………….

I did ask for help………………………………. my visa is error………………………………. I just got the short answer………………………………. maybe it is because my name is Islamic thing………………………………. that’s it………………………………. that’s all………………………………. dear lord………………………………. I wish………………………………. if I cant go this year………………………………. I will be recruited again next year………………………………. but not there………………………………. there is sucks………………………………. hate them ……………………………….

I wish……………………………….

the visa comes………………………………. I didn’t get up in the morning yet………………………………. early this morning………………………………. my door got banged………………………………. I am shocked………………………………. I thought the visa come………………………………. directly woke up………………………………. stood up………………………………. step on my glasses………………………………. dear lord………………………………. your punishment comes again………………………………. and I don’t care anymore………………………………. it is too much………………………………. pain and pain………………………………. over and over again ……………………………….

even I want something free ……………………………….

and you didn’t allow me………………………………. what………………………………. should I go here………………………………. but there is always obstacle………………………………. I don’t know………………………………. if it cant work………………………………. let it be………………………………. I should spend money………………………………. I hope this body………………………………. can still find some income………………………………. non stop………………………………. till I die………………………………. with his permission ……………………………….

it was error……………………………….

lord………………………………. I am afraid………………………………. many jobs………………………………. please don’t make it error again………………………………. thx lord………………………………. it works………………………………. I hope it is like this always………………………………. till later………………………………. till the end………………………………. with your permission………………………………. with your blessing ……………………………….

you add more……………………………….

misery………………………………. punishment………………………………. my glasses are broken………………………………. I don’t know anymore………………………………. I am tired already………………………………. I am depressed already………………………………. I want to be happy………………………………. if this must happen………………………………. what else can I do………………………………. I cant protest………………………………. I just can accept ……………………………….

sometimes……………………………….

a lot of times………………………………. I ask that question………………………………. over and over again………………………………. but never find the answer………………………………. you never speak………………………………. you never whisperv………………………………. I wish you do………………………………. I want to hear you………………………………. I want to hear your whisper in my ear………………………………. telling stories in my ears………………………………. making my life not miserable………………………………. making my heart satisfied………………………………. with your answers………………………………. with your explanation ……………………………….

crazy high level……………………………….

driving and crashing the brigde………………………………. stressed………………………………. don’t want to eat………………………………. having maag………………………………. it is very painful in the stomach………………………………. gastric acid attack………………………………. then I should pay back the money………………………………. perfect………………………………. in the name of lord………………………………. then the enail is not good at all………………………………. not clear whatsoever………………………………. getting worse………………………………. the panick attact ……………………………….

I will have my own fairy tale……………………………….

seeing that………………………………. reading that………………………………. it is everywhere………………………………. I want it too………………………………. then I ask you………………………………. coz you are the only place I can ask for everything………………………………. and I did that………………………………. and I will do that again………………………………. and again………………………………. I have a lot of request ……………………………….

stressed……………………………….

confused………………………………. crazy………………………………. don’t have good mood………………………………. don’t want to eat………………………………. make me stomachache………………………………. maag………………………………. gastric acid geeting high………………………………. fever………………………………. and it doesn’t stop there………………………………. it keeps coming………………………………. your torture………………………………. your punishment………………………………. your lash………………………………. I am tired lord ……………………………….

sick again………………………….

because I cut my hairs…………………………. is it…………………………. I did read it somewhere…………………………. that satan can hide in hairs…………………………. coz I listen to him…………………………. maybe all of them inside me…………………………. react badly…………………………. negatively…………………………. as I wont to get closer to him ………………………….

lord………………………….

all texts me…………………………. in private…………………………. all cares for me…………………………. I am moved…………………………. I did send message again…………………………. get the auto reply…………………………. I hope there is an officer who reads my message…………………………. in the name of lord…………………………. I hope I can join them…………………………. I hope I can be calm…………………………. i hope tomorrow all the paper is done…………………………. I hope tomorrow all is clear ………………………….

lord………………………….

allow me to go there…………………………. lord…………………………. allow me to get my study…………………………. lord…………………………. allow me to always have work…………………………. always have income…………………………. always be save…………………………. although save is in your hand…………………………. not in income…………………………. lord…………………………. allow me to be close to you…………………………. on your path…………………………. on your home ………………………….

lord………………………….

i think they live unworldly one hundred percent…………………………. leaving the worldly things one hundred percent…………………………. completely…………………………. but it appears they don’t…………………………. at the beginning I was afraid…………………………. I was angry…………………………. I was jealous…………………………. but now I know…………………………. lord…………………………. at least they are closer to you …………………………. compare to me…………………………. which is very far apart ………………………….

amazing………………………….

big attacks come…………………………. \twice in the same time…………………………. and I must be strong…………………………. to face it all…………………………. lord…………………………. help me…………………………. lord…………………………. give me hand…………………………. to be always in your path…………………………. never be out of it…………………………. from your ways ………………………….

I am ill again………………………….

lord…………………………. make me strong…………………………. lord …………………………. make me healthy…………………………. lord…………………………. guard me…………………………. lord…………………………. I will give all my life to you…………………………. always…………………………. forever and ever ………………………….

lord………………………….

sorry for not thinking about your possession…………………………. like them…………………………. I think about my own business…………………………. my worldly things…………………………. in a way…………………………. this is my way to love you…………………………. is it really important to defend you physical representation…………………………. which is made by human…………………………. is it only that thing that represent you…………………………. the whole you…………………………. I don’t think so…………………………. you are much more bigger than that ………………………….

lord………………………….

sorry I forgot…………………………. to listen to you…………………………. now I remember…………………………. I will listen to it continuously…………………………. till the judgment day…………………………. and again after that…………………………. to protect me…………………………. to protect my family…………………………. to chase away the satans…………………………. to be close to you…………………………. lord…………………………. I love you ………………………….

in the name of lord………………………….

help me please…………………………. you are the great…………………………. you are the best…………………………. all is yours…………………………. I am yours…………………………. my paper is yours…………………………. my life is yours…………………………. allow me to use all that…………………………. to go there…………………………. to chase my dream…………………………. to be closer to you ………………………….

lord………………………….

idm is error…………………………. lord…………………………. help me please…………………………. lord …………………………. I need to work…………………………. lord…………………………. it needs to work…………………………. lord…………………………. I spent a lot in this…………………………. lord…………………………. it works…………………………. lord…………………………. thx u ………………………….

kerjaane pamela

memori ngempon

semoga persahabatan ini bertahan selamanya sampai hayat memisahkan kita

lord………………………………..

it is not like usual……………………………….. the wifi is error……………………………….. meanwhile it is usually superfast……………………………….. I cant do my things……………………………….. and I will lose everything……………………………….. it is expensive here……………………………….. it will be okay if it is plus it……………………………….. but today is strange……………………………….. is it you……………………………….. lord……………………………….. help me please ………………………………..

lord………………………………..

thx u……………………………….. I can make it……………………………….. I can finish three classes……………………………….. that is amazing……………………………….. I cant do that without you……………………………….. lord……………………………….. thx u……………………………….. finally I can force myself to do it……………………………….. it has been there for a long time……………………………….. I need to do it……………………………….. but I cant do it……………………………….. as my heart not into it ………………………………..

lord………………………………..

my visa……………………………….. lord……………………………….. make it happen……………………………….. lord……………………………….. make it pass……………………………….. lord……………………………….. allow me……………………………….. lord……………………………….. help me……………………………….. lord……………………………….. everything happens because of you……………………………….. if you do this please give me explanation……………………………….. thus my heart will settled……………………………….. not like this……………………………….. I love you dearly……………………………….. please love me dearly ………………………………..

lord………………………………..

there is satan……………………………….. lord……………………………….. help me……………………………….. lord……………………………….. protect me……………………………….. lord……………………………….. I am afraid……………………………….. lord……………………………….. save me……………………………….. lord……………………………….. I should not be afraid……………………………….. there is always you……………………………….. around me……………………………….. never leave me……………………………….. as long as I don’t leave you ………………………………..

remember that time…………………….

it seems you did protect me……………………. by blocking my ears……………………. so I don’t listen to a thing……………………. don’t know they come……………………. don’t know what they say……………………. lord……………………. I thank you……………………. lord……………………. I love you……………………. lord……………………. you are great …………………….

I think her call is a sign…………………….

that it is related to satan……………………. and you take me home……………………. before that happens……………………. you protect me……………………. you save me……………………. you love me……………………. I love you……………………. lord……………………. I thank you……………………. lord …………………….

lord…………………….

thx u……………………. you distract my mind……………………. although it is a short time……………………. lord……………………. sorry……………………. I ask for more……………………. lord……………………. grant this one……………………. lord……………………. I love you……………………. lord……………………. I beg you …………………….

on one part…………………….

I wait for important call and or message……………………. on the other part……………………. I avoid satanic call and or message……………………. and both of them are strangers……………………. I am confused……………………. lord……………………. I hope you help me……………………. show me the one……………………. which one is good……………………. which one is satan……………………. just like today …………………….

lord…………………….

now is different……………………. see their chat……………………. I don’t get boiled anymore……………………. like before……………………. do I care……………………. I think I do care……………………. but I have another……………………. two heavy problems on my shoulder……………………. thus that part feels nothing……………………. lord ……………………. help me please …………………….

lord…………………….

I am afraid……………………. not for me……………………. for my family……………………. lord……………………. protect them……………………. from bad people……………………. lord……………………. save them……………………. on earth……………………. and on after life …………………….

lord…………………….

your punishment comes again……………………. lord……………………. the Satan comes again……………………. lord……………………. I beg you……………………. lord……………………. please kill them……………………. lord……………………. I beg you……………………. lord……………………. please destroy them ……………………. lord……………………. I beg you …………………….

got news…………………….

theirs are done……………………. lord……………………. I am getting more depressed……………………. lord……………………. help me……………………. lord……………………. I cant bear it……………………. lord……………………. I want to be happy……………………. lord……………………. I want to be like them……………………. lord……………………. I want to go there …………………….

in group……………………..

in chat…………………….. they seem happy…………………….. I wish I can feel what they feel…………………….. soon……………………..…………………….. I want to be happy…………………….. just like them…………………….. god…………………….. I harbor myself to you…………………….. only with your permission…………………….. all that can happen ……………………..

sad in a happy day…………………………….

I cant think others……………………………. just that……………………………. always mentioning your name……………………………. to make me calm……………………………. to soothe me……………………………. hoping for a miracle……………………………. I beg you……………………………. please come quickly……………………………. I cant bear it any longer……………………………. I still have thoughts about it……………………………. it hurts……………………………. it has been days……………………………. it is heavy……………………………. burden my heart……………………………. my shoulder……………………………. my head……………………………. my thoughtv……………………………. my brain……………………………. my everything……………………………. god……………………………. help me please …………………………….

I have a dream…………………………….

that my paper will be cleared……………………………. maybe tomorrow……………………………. then I will update my status……………………………. that I have been stressed for days……………………………. but suddenly got accepted……………………………. then I am happy……………………………. coz there is god……………………………. maybe I should not plan this……………………………. this is jinx……………………………. maybe he hates this……………………………. let him the only one to know……………………………. and his comment makes my heart sick……………………………. I want to make him understand……………………………. but I don’t know how……………………………. it is difficult……………………………. he is not my level……………………………. god help me please …………………………….

they talk about it…………………………….

they should do that……………………………. there is no other topics……………………………. if they don’t do that……………………………. it will be quiet……………………………. they seem okay……………………………. they seem on His track……………………………. I hope I can be like them……………………………. but all their talk irritate me……………………………. I don’t know why……………………………. maybe there is so much evil in me……………………………. and there is another punishment……………………………. I crash a bridge……………………………. more money……………………………. meanwhile I am short of it……………………………. do I need to borrow again……………………………. lord\……………………………. please stop……………………………. this punishments……………………………. I am not strong enough……………………………. you are great …………………………….

stressed…

……………………………………..……………………………………….. become thin………………………………………..……………………………………….. maybe it is time………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am focus praying………………………………………..……………………………………….. I become very stressed………………………………………..……………………………………….. I should not be able to eat………………………………………..……………………………………….. till the judgment day………………………………………..……………………………………….. so let me be thin………………………………………..……………………………………….. skin and bone………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. I cant concentrate………………………………………..……………………………………….. I think only that………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am afraid………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am sad………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. don’t make me stop………………………………………..……………………………………….. thinking of you………………………………………..……………………………………….. don’t make me stop………………………………………..……………………………………….. loving you………………………………………..……………………………………….. don’t make me stop………………………………………..……………………………………….. asking for your help ………………………………………..………………………………………..

they both get approved…

……………………………………..……………………………………….. I get more stressed………………………………………..……………………………………….. they seem happy………………………………………..……………………………………….. in group………………………………………..……………………………………….. I get more stressed………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord help me………………………………………..……………………………………….. I cant handle it………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. I want to be happy like them………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. I want to go there like them………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. I love you………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. grant my wish please………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am afraid………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord ………………………………………..………………………………………..

now it is torturing…………

……………………………..……………………………………….. I was enjoying it………………………………………..……………………………………….. become poor………………………………………..……………………………………….. get whatever it is………………………………………..……………………………………….. the cheap one………………………………………..……………………………………….. as long as it gets me there………………………………………..……………………………………….. now I feel old………………………………………..……………………………………….. this makes me uncomfortable………………………………………..……………………………………….. the train………………………………………..……………………………………….. the seat………………………………………..……………………………………….. the bathroom………………………………………..……………………………………….. the power source………………………………………..……………………………………….. all makes me ill………………………………………..……………………………………….. but thx lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am saved arriving there………………………………………..……………………………………….. and I can process all my business………………………………………..……………………………………….. thx lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. he saves me all the way ………………………………………..………………………………………..

ok then……

…………………………………..……………………………………….. don’t think too hard………………………………………..……………………………………….. if he allows………………………………………..……………………………………….. I will join………………………………………..……………………………………….. if he doesn’t allow………………………………………..……………………………………….. I will go to his house………………………………………..……………………………………….. if they want the money back………………………………………..……………………………………….. give it back………………………………………..……………………………………….. if I don’t have it………………………………………..……………………………………….. try to find or borrow them………………………………………..……………………………………….. in the name of lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. then she said there is a chance that we will not go………………………………………..……………………………………….. hiksss………………………………………..……………………………………….. she should choose her words carefully………………………………………..……………………………………….. do not make our heart sick………………………………………..……………………………………….. we are all sensitive………………………………………..……………………………………….. we had tried so hard………………………………………..……………………………………….. by ourselves………………………………………..……………………………………….. because they don’t help at all………………………………………..……………………………………….. they should help………………………………………..……………………………………….. I don’t know………………………………………..……………………………………….. lord help us………………………………………..……………………………………….. whatever the result………………………………………..……………………………………….. we believe lord is behind all this ………………………………………..………………………………………..

I love you……

…………………………………..……………………………………….. I don’t know what else to say………………………………………..……………………………………….. is all here………………………………………..……………………………………….. you can read me………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am an open book………………………………………..……………………………………….. want to meet mrss………………………………………..……………………………………….. want to share my feeling………………………………………..……………………………………….. all are evil to me………………………………………..……………………………………….. seem like it………………………………………..……………………………………….. only her love me………………………………………..……………………………………….. I cant stop it………………………………………..……………………………………….. my eyes always wander wildly………………………………………..……………………………………….. sorry lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. forgive me lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. it is my nature………………………………………..……………………………………….. on your behalf………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am admiring what you had created ………………………………………..………………………………………..

cant cry……

…………………………………..……………………………………….. but want to cry………………………………………..……………………………………….. I don’t want to………………………………………..……………………………………….. but I feel like it………………………………………..……………………………………….. it is hard to hold it………………………………………..……………………………………….. the pain inside………………………………………..……………………………………….. everything goes unsettled………………………………………..……………………………………….. oh my god………………………………………..……………………………………….. it is in public………………………………………..……………………………………….. but the tears wont hold in………………………………………..……………………………………….. gosh………………………………………..……………………………………….. dear lord………………………………………..……………………………………….. you are the best………………………………………..……………………………………….. I love you………………………………………..……………………………………….. make my heart calm please………………………………………..……………………………………….. you are all I have………………………………………..……………………………………….. I am speechless ………………………………………..………………………………………..