30 nov 22 rabu
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alfa
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allahuakbar
just put any comment on my blog
But memories
Of the pasts
When they always late
All the times
Many times
It did come
And I finished it fast
Was i that hungry
Crazy me
Idiot me
They say it is dangerous to eat fast
They say we should eat slow
As it is good to eat slow
They go home
And it is time
Should I go home too
Not go home tho
Go there
To that building
The meeting
Neighborhood meeting
It is plus four
And I think they will not come this soon
This early
As usual
They will come late
Very late
The invitation is at 7
And it is 830
And there is no sign to start the program yet
Collecting all the patience out there
All has meanings
Including this
All has purpose
Including these
Members are still few
A little number of persons
There will be two possibilities
Start with only this
Or wait for more
I hope the later latter
The program ends
But nobody go home
They do that
That noises
The melodies
And the battles
All in one
Chaotic ear
Calm me soul
Calm me brain
Meditate all the way
To the end
And beyond
To those places
Comes forward
Never stop
Step by step
Pace by pace
On my own handling
On my own strength
Dear brightness
Dear smiles
Dear laughs
Dear loves
Dear cares
Dear happiness
Dear kindness
Leave me
Dear bad
Dear ugliness
Dear negatives
Dear darkness
Dear storm
Dear uneasiness
Dear misleads
Dear angst
Dear cruelty
Embracing all
The good and the bad
The dark and the light
As it all
Will build me
Into strong ones
Into better ones
As it all
Will lead me
To higher places
To better places
To happier places
To paradise
To heaven
Where all good people gather
Wish can be in their group
Love cool
Love rain
Love snow
That was one
One in a lifetime
Hope will experience it again
Again and again
Many times
As it was so good
All are positives
I was very stupid
Being idiot
Showering my brain with all that stuff
Scary moments
But all is planned
By him
So it was meaningful
Tho it is hard to find the clue
Till now
Still
A very big mystery
That will haunt my days
To come
But I will enjoy my life
To the fullest
Maximize happiness
Spread kindness
ll over the world
All over the place
Around me
The ones that is in my reach
Why though
There are many places I had visited
Why here
What's happen Tonite
Don't know
Everything seems vague
A lot of fogs
They are all young
Are they employer
Are they employee
Don't know bout that
Just guessing
With the help of positive thinking
All will be well
All will be fine
All will be good
It all will come to the rainbow lights
Them getting ready
And all thoughts
Come puring
Raining hard
Cats and dogs raining
Need umbrella
Need coats
Need warm
But usually I hate warm
Hate it
Hate them
What should I do
Where should I order
This is bad
This is confusinf
Don't know what to do
Holy moly
Holy fuck
Bad
Annoying
Nobody here
And I hate football
A lot
Crazy as hell
What the ef
There are new customers
Hope can copy them
Hope can use their method
Hope they show me what to do
Then
I copy them
I place order
At 1841
Let's see
When the food will come
Hope it is soon
men oh men
diva in the making
intimidating
me of course
no back down
keep faighting against
keep moving forward
it is scary
it is big error
expressing anger to other things
it is dangerous
it is idiotic
thx god
your dream comes true
your get what you want
you get what you wish for
enter their circle
the artists of social media
the blue bird
the handsome ones
god-like figure
gathering a lot
party a lot
having fun a lot
meeting many people
various kinds of them
the pretty ones
the sexy ones
hope you dont show your fave on your record
it is a very dangerous thing to do so
the authority will catch you
they will imprison you
they will blackmail you
hope you are happy with them
interaktif
holistik
integratif
saintifik
kontekstual
tematik
efektif
kolaboratif
berpusat pada mahasiswa
i got stumbled again
someone stopped me from my study
someone blocked me
at first it hurts a lot
but then again
eerything was planned by him
maybe he knows things that i dont know
maybe if i study now
it wont be good for me
so he postpon it
just believe that
all has time
including this
just be happy
just enjoy the moment
and that thing
maybe he gives me jobs
that i should finish before i study
to make everyone better
in that area
ok then
lets promise that
lets do that
send them all to the higher level
maybe he will love me more
i think they got program again in the hotel
but they dont include me
it hurts
i want to be included
i need the incentive
i am jealous of those
who got the call
i didnt get the call
lets pray hard
so the next time they got program again
i will be called
i will be included
i will get the incentive
hope he bless me in this request
hope he bless me in this program
hope he is ok with this program
i dont think this program is bad
it is good
isnt it
online class
i dont feel the respect
they chit chat on their own
hope they calm
hope they join class accordingly
but it turns out like this
pray for them
pray hard
hope they become good students
hope they respect their lecturers
hope they respect the elders
hope they do good deed
so they will be rewarded by him up above
whisper to my ear
telling her story
act as if nothing happen
suddenly me
thinking a ton of flashes
my head burst
that that things should be like this
one should not hold grudges
and angry for a long time
that is not good for one health
and that is not good for one soul
and that is not good for one brain
the one who always watching from up above
beware
karma is real
you do red
you got red
for sure
scary as hell
they open my room
i got furious
i must be patient
i must cintain myself
i must be happy
i should be happy
i must find things that make me happy
i should not make myself suffer
i should not make myself hurt
i should not make myself in pain
i rush it again
i make it quick again
hope they dont mind
hope they dont tell campus on me
if campus know
hope they dont mind
hope they dont punish me
hope they dont give me punishment
hope all material can be delivered smoothly
hope all students will understand all material i deliever to them
hope i also can grasp all material i deliever to them
somehow
i am losing it again
someone put things on my table
i got furious
i throw them away
in front of everybody
just the two of them
i want to make sure
they know
that i get angry
stupid me
i should be patient
i should buy patience from all over the world
i should inject patience into my veins
i should eat patience
for my breakfast lunch and dinner
i should consume patience for my snacks
lets pray hard
so that thing will not happen again
so i can have patience in my routine
so i can envelope myself with patience
my fam
i got so furious
as they mess my room
i dont like people touching my stuff
all my life i give them hints
but they are very stupid
they ignore the hints
they keep messing my stuff
i dont like that
thats why i get angry to them
i distance myself from them
i dont speak to them
hah thats funny
i dont usually speak to them
so it seems it doesnt give big impact
i dont eat food they cook for me
i but them from all places near here
lets pray hard
so i can stop my anger
so i can erase my anger from my body
and pray for them
so lord will protect them
always and forever
and pray for this fam
i hope i can be nice to them
hope i can treat them good
hope i dont give them difficulty
in the name of lord
i hope it will be finished
i hope i can work on it today
this has been taken so much time
it is annoting
there are many obstacles
there are many distractions
i am defeated
i am afraid lord
i must win this
i must win the battle
but i am afraid
i dont have the power to do so
dear you
send me strength please
to defeat all seductions
dear you
send me strength please
to be able to fully concentrate
dear you
send me strength please
to become clever
to be capable to finish this paper
it was a joke
but the after effect hits me so hard
so just lets distance from her from now on
just pray for her
hope she will be alright
hope she will be better
hope she can place herself accordingly
and pray for me too
hope i can survive in the workplace
hope i stop forcing my standard to others
just let them be
just accept them as they are
of course it doesnt feel nice
being ignored
i must be strong
in the name of lord
pray for the best for them
hope they dont do this to others
hope they actively answering others message
hope they realize their position
that they are students
that supposedly respect lecturers
that they are young generations
that supposedly respect older geneartions
and hope that they are actively participate in many programs
held by campus
all of this is for their own sake
so that they get various kinds of experiences
for their future
if they become teacher
or working in other fields
and all of this is for the sake of their campus
so that all programs held by campus
successfully get a lot of participation from students
that it will effect for acreditation
if the acreditation is good
they will get the benefit for sure
as good acreditation will mentioned in their certificate
that they will use it to apply for jobs