The kindness will kill you...................

For sure................... Believe me................... Stupid and crazy dome at the same time................... In one brainless head................... He gives everything to him................... What does he expect................... Sex? Love? ................... He tells lies................... Sad stories................... And he swallows them all................... And the relationship changes................... And then he dissappears................... And he comes back................... With all the problems................... And he takes him again...................

Really stupid...................

Do that again................... And again................... All over again................... Dont he have brain................... I judge him................... Stupid me................... He is me................... Exactly the same................... Brainless................... Goddddd................... I want to scream................... At him................... At you................... At myself................... Kill him................... Kill you................... Kill me...................

Lets destroy the world...................

I want to kill them all................... The signs are everywhere................... But i dont want to see................... I blind myself................... The stupid man................... Always falls for the same boy................... Very stupid................... Is that a mirror................... Is that your way................... To tell me................... To show me................... That this is a fuck up world................... Then i am a part of it................... Am i................... Am i not...................

Stupid man...................

Like me................... I remember my cases................... The thief of laptop................... The sweet mouth of gold digger................... And the one................... I forget................... Wait................... The one with the police................... And god always comes................... Save me................... Over and over................... And i am stupid................... All the time................... Fuck that................... Fuck me...................

And the mattress takes me...................

Willingly happily................... As a dear friend................... Who will never leave me................... Rolling here................... Rolling there................... Being pleased................... Being relaxed................... Resting all the mind, body and soul................... I am sorry................... I dont want to explain................... This mouth shuts................... I hope you will understand................... Without my explanation................... Please say................... That i am fine the way i am................... Dont change me................... Accept me................... Love me................... Embrace me................... Say you will...................

I want to sleep...................

But i cant................... The morning is near... ................................... But i cant help it................... This brain is storming................... Many thoughts running around................... Got this paper and pen................... And then i write................... About this, that, these, and................... Everything else................... And the morning comes................... The restless comes................... There is nothing no do................... Got stressed................... Want to travel................... But have noone................... Damn................... Always dependent................... Hate myself................... Want to be independent................... Want to be free................... What the hell................... I can do this................... I will do this................... Lets go...................

And crying all the time...................

That is i imagine all this time................... Being weak in front of you................... Being hopeless before you................... Coz you are the one................... Who has everything................... And me is the one................... Who has nothing................... Until you give it to me................... Circling your box................... Over and over again................... Till these feet can do no more................... And stay there forever................... Till the end of the time................... Is it possible................... For you it is possible................... Coz you have the power................... To grant all wishes................... Including this one................... But what will i do there................... Will you give me purpose................... Better than this one? ................... Is it bad? ................... This one i have now? ................... Is it wrong? ................... questioning you................... coz this brain wont stop...................