God, Forgive Me—I Lost Again

 

God, Forgive Me—I Lost Again

God,
forgive me…
tonight I fell again.
Not because You were far,
but because I stood too close
to tiredness and excuses.

You woke me
with a gentle silence,
with a quiet tremor in my chest.
But temptation whispered faster,
and I chose defeat—
again.

God,
dawn knocked softly.
The light was not yet complete,
but You were already waiting.
I knew it,
yet the blanket felt more honest
than my own intentions.

Forgive me,
it happened again.
I lost again,
not because I do not love You,
but because my faith
often grows weary.

God,
please help me.
Hold my hand
when I want to let go.
Strengthen me
when I choose laziness
over obedience.

For all of this—
is not for the world,
not for praise,
but for You.

For Your love that never leaves
even when I keep walking away.
For Your protection
when I am fragile and careless.
For happiness—
not in laughter,
but in peace,
knowing You still accept me
even when I lose again.

19 des 25 jumat

 

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Imam Mahdi

 

Imam Mahdi is a central figure in Islamic eschatology, particularly in Shia and Sunni traditions, believed to be a messianic leader who will appear at the end of times to restore justice, peace, and righteousness. Here’s a breakdown:

In Shia Islam (especially Twelver Shia):

• Identity: Imam Mahdi is Muhammad ibn Hasan al-Askari, the 12th and final Imam.

• Occultation: Shia Muslims believe he was born in 869 CE and went into occultation (hidden from public view) in 874 CE. He is alive but hidden by God and will reappear when the world is filled with injustice.

• Role: He will lead the world with justice, defeat oppression, and establish a global era of peace guided by Islam.

In Sunni Islam:

• Identity: Known as al-Mahdi (“the Guided One”), his lineage is often traced to the Prophet Muhammad through his daughter Fatimah.

• Belief: Sunnis generally believe he is yet to be born or will appear in the future.

• Role: He will appear before the Day of Judgment, unite Muslims, and restore justice, often alongside the return of Prophet Isa (Jesus).

Key Concepts:

• Justice: He will eradicate oppression and corruption.

• Peace: He will bring global peace and moral order.

• Faith: He reinforces true Islamic teachings.

In short, Imam Mahdi is a future savior figure in Islam whose appearance marks the triumph of justice and the end of tyranny.

I Don’t Know Why

 

I Don’t Know Why 

I don’t know why,
but hatred burns when he walks by—
and with his friend beside his side,
it twists my heart, it scars my pride.

They stare as though I’m small and weak,
as if my silence makes me meek.
They stand like saints above the sky,
pretending pure, pretending high.

Holier, smarter—what a show,
their poison smiles, their voices low.
They act like gods, but truth is clear:
the stench of arrogance is here.

Oh God, please keep them far from me,
from every wound they cannot see.
From every word that breaks my bones,
from nights I fight my thoughts alone.

Help me erase this hate inside,
this storm I’ve never learned to ride.
Take every curse, each angry spark,
and guide me safely through the dark.

If they intend to crush my soul,
then draw a line they can’t control.
Let distance be my shield and light,
my strength, my peace, my lungs, my fight.

And teach me how to rise above,
to trade my rage for deeper love.
Not for their sake—
but mine alone,
to build a kingdom
from my throne.

Sorry, I’m Leaking

 

Sorry, I’m Leaking

Sorry, I’m leaking—
not water, but feelings
I can no longer hold on my own.

I need a place to vent,
not to put life on trial,
just to set down the weight
that’s been piling in my chest.

My heart is heavy,
like a bag filled with small stones:
hopes, disappointments, delayed prayers.
So much inside,
so much to carry.

One of them is this—
they received help,
and I did not.
That pain arrived quietly,
piercing without a sound.

God,
I’m ashamed to admit it,
but envy is here.
Not because I want what is theirs,
only because I, too, want to feel supported.

Please help me,
erase this envy
that eats away at my peace,
replace it with space and grace.

Let me stand without comparing,
breathe without counting my lack.
Let me be in peace—
just calm enough,
just whole enough,
just allowed to be me.

18 des 25 kamis

 

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17 des 25 rabu

 

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