waiting a gift from lord...............................................

at mosque............................................... at his house............................................... at his meeting............................................... he will tell me............................................... i dont know how and when............................................... just wait for the best............................................... lord is loving mehe will send someone to me............................................... i will not be bad............................................... i will take care of myself............................................... i will improve myself............................................... i will protect myself............................................... i will stay away from bad things............................................... i love my lord .................................................

god i think you can kill me with fear....................................

i was taken care of.................................... and i feel now i was not being taken care of.................................... it scares me to death.................................... lord i love you.................................... lord protect me please.................................... lord i promise i will not be bad.................................... lord i promise i will do all your command.................................... lord i promise i will stay away from all your prohibition.................................... lord i love you.................................... lord take me close to you.................................... lord hold me tight.................................... lord save me please ......................................

there is a suspicious man sitting next to me..............................

but he is nothing.............................. thx god i am saved.............................. i feel paranoid.............................. i got suspicious to everybody around me.............................. it makes me crazy.............................. i think they are successful in making me insane.............................. and from this moment on.............................. i promise to lord.............................. i will not be defeated.............................. as lord is on my side ..............................

i want to win the battle you give me...............................

but sometimes it feels very hard to do so............................... let alone you force me to face it by myself............................... can you give me a partner............................... to accompany me............................... to lead me to be always on your road............................... then i will wait............................... then the wait is never ending............................... and sometimes i feel desperate............................... i just want you to take it all............................... i just want you to take me to your home ..................................

my motorbike is outside......................................

there is someone...................................... there are many misscall...................................... dear lord...................................... i am afraid...................................... dear lord protect me please...................................... dear lord i love you so much...................................... i should not be afraid...................................... afraid only to lord...................................... he is almighty...................................... everything will be alright...................................... if he allows he will always protect me...................................... i think he who made me not answering those calls ...........................................

if sis asked for money................................

for all the house needs................................ this and that................................ electricity water soap perfume maid etc................................ i always get angry inside................................ that was before................................ that was back then................................ feel like i want to run away................................ move out and rent a room again................................ now i change myself................................ my mind................................ i want to let it go................................ pray hard that i will be able to pay all that................................ pray hard that my fortune will always come smoothly................................ to pay all the needs in life................................ in the name of lord i hope sis will graduate soon................................ i hope she will get job soon.................................. i hope she will get married soon.................................. i hope she will always be saved ..................................

it is raining..........................................

very heavy.......................................... i ride my motorbike.......................................... it feels so good.......................................... it has been a while since i enjoy reining.......................................... it feels as if lord bathe me.......................................... i hope all my sins are faded away.......................................... together with the lord's bathing me.......................................... i hope this sickness from raining has a disguise blessing.......................................... i hope this illness can wipe away all my sins.......................................... i hope lord always protect me.................................................................................... from all bad people that make me scared.......................................... from this moment on.......................................... i swear not to fear anything.......................................... but lord ..........................................