that group……………………………………………………………..

that is negative…………………………………………………………….. that is bad…………………………………………………………….. maybe he punish me out of it…………………………………………………………….. because of that…………………………………………………………….. just join it tho…………………………………………………………….. as i already paid for it…………………………………………………………….. and i should pay him much more than that…………………………………………………………….. much much more…………………………………………………………….. that is the way to erase this guilty feeling…………………………………………………………….. no plan to practice it in real life…………………………………………………………….. as he knows me well…………………………………………………………….. i am afraid of people…………………………………………………………….. i am good at faking…………………………………………………………….. i am good at pretending…………………………………………………………….. i had done that for my whole life…………………………………………………………….. maybe if you allow me to stay here…………………………………………………………….. i will not fake it all again…………………………………………………………….. i will be real…………………………………………………………….. thus i can love you more…………………………………………………………….. i can love you as me…………………………………………………………….. i can love you as real me…………………………………………………………….. and i dont think i will tell them…………………………………………………………….. i think they know…………………………………………………………….. but they pretend not to know…………………………………………………………….. and i dont know how to react to that…………………………………………………………….. i dont know what to do…………………………………………………………….. just keep loving you is all i do ……………………………………………………………..