The movie of last night..............

The one i had already watched.............. But it hits me just now.............. Not like the one before.............. Dont know why.............. But it gets into my head real deep.............. And then he sits next to me.............. And the memory of the plot rushes through my head.............. What if.............. I am like the one in the story.............. Crazy imagination.............. And that driver.............. And both of them.............. Stay in my life.............. Forever and ever..............

When you just sit..............

And she explains all she has in her head.............. So much of that knowledge.............. Very high level beyond my reach.............. At least for now.............. Coz i will be there in that level.............. With my own strength.............. She does have a really great explanation.............. Will i be like that.............. It always comes the nervous.............. The disbelief of self.............. And then comes the contra.............. To kill those the underestimate self.............. And then comes the thought of homeschooling.............. Then want to put the kids there.............. Whose kids.............. I dont have kids.............. The thought is jumping here and there..............

So much events...................

Very various................... And i am not apart of it................... Feel inferior................... Dont have the skill................... Like them................... Being a guide................... On every event................... Feel stupid................... Very stupid................... Have nothing compare to them................... Admire them................... Expert in many areas................... Not like me................... Just one area................... And not sure good at it...................

The waiting...................

The unrespect................... And the mouth calls again................... Want to go home................... But where is home................... Dont have home really................... The one and only................... Had been taken by him................... He is cruel................... My idea of heaven................... There is her................... There is you................... Putting together................... Will i join you both................... That is the question................... Realizing how dirty i am................... It is scary...................

And it happens again...................

Get confused................... Cant get quite understand................... What is going on................... Everything seems out of place................... Put your heart into restless mode................... The state of being uncalm................... Need to read that book................... The calming one................... Something wrong................... Dont feel like to eat................... Dont fell like to do anything................... Just confused................... Need to do something................... But not know what to do................... Damn...................

What places is that...................

It is scary................... The boss is in there................... Fuck................... He was caught................... Then the bombs come................... It will end badly................... It always does................... Hate that kind of story................... Not going out the whole day................... Till now................... Getting hungry................... Hope get refreshment................... For the brain................... Need fresh air................... To be different................... It feels different................... Not the same as usual................... I dont know why................... It is the same place................... But it has something...................

I want it to end...................

But it still has a lot of times................... Scary................... Waiting for the bombs................... You know it comes................... And you wait for it................... The heart makes some crazy noises................... Is that a war................... Where the hell is that................... No it is not................... It is a celebration................... What celebration................... The celebration of death................... The dance of blood...................