g party
i pay the ticket and i believe i can come by myslef. in the d day everything change. i dont have self confidence at all. i think i dont have expensive costume. the place is in the dugem venue and i am afraid of that kind of place because i belive that kind of place will make me look like a loser, a big loser. then i do not come to the party. there goes 100rb. hiks...
maybe this is a sign from the lord that i dont belong to that kind of place, that i dont belong to that kind of people. this is sickening. my heart ache so badly. maybe this is a punishment from the lord for everything i do wrong. and i think the punishment is not enough. my brain tells me that i must punish myself more.....
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