Jealousy, a thorn in my mind,

 

Jealousy, a thorn in my mind,
A shadow that lingers, unkind.
It whispers sharp where doubts reside,
It stirs the ache I try to hide.

She got projects, and I did not,
Her dreams took flight; mine stayed caught.
Her thing got accepted, her path is clear,
While I sit tangled in webs of fear.

I feel blocked, like a dammed-up stream,
Trapped in the cage of a distant dream.
I feel rage, like a fire untamed,
Burning with questions, confused, ashamed.

I feel anger, a searing tide,
An inner storm I cannot abide.
I feel angst, an uneasy weight,
A restless pulse I can't placate.

I feel uneasiness, sharp and deep,
A wakeful thought when I should sleep.
I feel jealous—this truth, I know,
It prickles my heart, it won’t let go.

But let it be, I tell myself,
This is no thief, no stolen wealth.
Follow the lead, and watch it flow,
For life has rhythms, ebb and grow.

All has time, each turn, a key,
The lessons carved are meant for me.
Including this, this heavy test,
A chance to learn, to find my best.

There will be time my work will shine,
There will be days when the stars align.
The projects will come, the dreams will bloom,
The seeds I’ve planted will break the gloom.

The big project, it waits ahead,
Not just in dreams or thoughts unsaid.
And bigger ones, beyond my sight,
Will find me ready, heart alight.

So though I feel this pain today,
I’ll let it soften, fade away.
For jealousy, though sharp, must pass,
Like shadows swept from sunlit grass.

I’ll trust the path that leads me on,
Through doubt, through night, to light and dawn.
For what is mine will find its place,
In time, in love, with steady grace.